We must weather the possibility of happiness (without getting cursed out in Slovenian)

In other Trump news, the president announced that he would be cancelling Pete Hegseth’s plans to livestream a military execution by firing squad, because there are many very good and well-meaning people would rather not watch him die. The execution of Nidal Hasan, a former army major and psychiatrist who shot and killed 13 people and wounded 32 at Fort Hood in 2009, was set for 3 December. But Trump had second thoughts after realizing that the man they would be executing is in a wheelchair. I guess he realized he’d have a hard time selling ads on a live stream of a paralyzed man being executed by firing squad, and what’s the point if he can’t make a little bit of money on it, right? —Jimmy Kimmel 

I wonder if he’ll show the same kind of mercy to his new future former press secretary, Katie Zacharia whose first week on the job was less than stellar. On Thursday, the former fringe network commentator tried to set the record straight on questions about her status as an attorney, and it turns out that Katie Zacharia is an attorney in the same way George Santos was a volleyball champion. Zacharia has yet to confirm when or where she passed the bar exam; the Wall Street Journal reported that Zacharia failed the California bar exam after graduating from law school there in 2011. His press secretary is supposed to be answering questions about his lies, not hers! But the truth is, he didn’t hire her to be his lawyer. He didn’t really hire her to be his press secretary. He hired her so he could squeeze into a helicopter with her and Natalie Harp, his fellow blond assistant – and rub his cankles against a woman’s legs without getting cursed out in Slovenian. —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

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