He called for a 10-foot fence to be built around Hollywood (Oops! All My Fault!)

"Looks like some kind of civil war is brewing in Iraq. Well, who could have seen that coming? That came out of left field, huh? They say it is total chaos over there. People are roaming the streets with guns. It's like everyone is Dick Cheney now." --Jay Leno

"Well, folks, it looks like California's about to legalize marijuana. Yeah, yeah. You thought Governor Schwarzenegger was hard to understand before." –Jay Leno

 

"You know what's amazing? All the acting Oscars went to foreigners. Foreigners won everything. In fact, today, Lou Dobbs called for a 10-foot fence to be built around Hollywood." --Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

and just to rub it in, they gave it to him in pesos (let Mike and Steve share a shower)

"It's been reported that CNN got so tired of Lou Dobbs' focus on immigration issues that they paid him $8 million to leave. Yeah, and just to rub it in, they gave it to him in pesos." –Conan O'Brien

"This weekend in Washington, D.C., there was a huge gay rights rally. And one of the most popular chants was, 'Hey, Obama, let mama marry mama.' Historians are calling this the best gay rights chant since 'Hey, Dwight D. Eisenhower, let Mike and Steve share a shower.'" --Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Yeah, and just to rub it in, they gave it to him in pesos (the U.S. ambassador to Barbra Streisand)

"It's been reported that CNN got so tired of Lou Dobbs' focus on immigration issues that they paid him $8 million to leave. Yeah, and just to rub it in, they gave it to him in pesos." –Conan O'Brien

"This weekend, President Obama plans to appoint his Administration's first openly gay ambassador, David Huebner. Huebner will serve as the U.S. ambassador to Barbra Streisand." --Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

it may have something to do with being an overweight man whose job is being enraged (Now THAT’S fake news!)

President Trump did an interview with Lou Dobbs on Fox News last night. And at one point, Dobbs said Trump is “one of the most loved and respected” presidents in history. Even Trump was like, “Now THAT’S fake news!” –Jimmy Fallon

"You guys hear this? Rush Limbaugh was released from a hospital in Hawaii two days after suffering from chest pains. He's fine. Doctors say they don't know what caused it, but it may have something to do with being an overweight man whose job is being enraged." –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Yeah, and just to rub it in, they gave it to him in pesos (no one wants to eat elk pie)

"Earlier this week — this is crazy — the country's first marijuana cafe opened up, which not only sells medical marijuana, but also has a restaurant where customers can eat. In a related story, the recession is over." –Conan O'Brien

"It's been reported that CNN got so tired of Lou Dobbs' focus on immigration issues that they paid him $8 million to leave. Yeah, and just to rub it in, they gave it to him in pesos." –Conan O'Brien

"According to a new poll, more Americans would like to have Thanksgiving dinner with Hillary Clinton than with Sarah Palin. That's what the poll said. Yeah. Mainly because no one wants to eat elk pie." –Conan O'Brien


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It happens every time he listens to Pink Floyd (The good news is there are apparently schools in Florida)

April 2023

“Fox is also being sued for $2.7 Billion by another election machine company, Smartmatic. The on-air pundit Lou Dobbs has been named as a defendant. Fox Business has already cancelled his show, which is a huge blow to his audience – a cage full of parakeets in the day room.” —Stephen Colbert

“Florida, which is kind of the Fox News of states and Ron DeSantis’s proposed extension of his ‘don’t say gay’ bill to include high-school students. The good news is there are apparently schools in Florida.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“This week also saw news that Kim Jong-un is ready to launch North Korea’s first spy satellite. Aren’t you supposed to not tell people?” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He’s constantly terrified that they’ll find a new, more satisfying glory hole (Did I stab that fella?)

February 2023

“There was a stunning deposition by Rupert Murdoch, the billionaire owner of Fox News, in the defamation lawsuit against the network by Dominion Voting Systems. Murdoch admitted under oath that Fox hosts Sean Hannity, Jeanine Pirro, Lou Dobbs and Maria Bartiromo and others knowingly endorsed Donald Trump’s lie about the 2020 election and undermined Joe Biden’s victory. But when asked if Fox News endorsed Trump’s big election lies, Murdoch answered ‘Not Fox … No. Not Fox’. But if your most viewed hosts endorsed it, then your network endorsed it! I’d like to see this guy in a murder trial – ‘did I stab that fella? No. I mean, my hand did, but he’s an independent contractor.’” —Stephen Colbert

“We dug into the Murdoch deposition, though I wouldn’t call what we found out shocking. Fox knew the election wasn’t stolen but they said it anyway? That’s not shocking. If Brian Kilmeade ever completed a Wordle – that would be shocking.— Hasan Minhaj

“I’m not shocked, but I will say: I am very entertained, because of all the text messages between Fox News hosts revealed in discovery. There’s LinkedIn you. And then there’s iMessage you. That’s the deep, dark underbelly of who you really are. And boy oh boy were these iMessages good. For example, Tucker Carlson sent Laura Ingraham a text saying: ‘Sidney Powell is lying … it’s insane.’ Ingraham responded: ‘She is a complete nut.’ Carlson also called Trump a ‘demonic force’. Ingraham referred to Rudy Giuliani as an ‘idiot’, while Hannity texted that he ‘was acting like an insane person’. Oh my God, do you know what this means? These people are secretly sane. They also don’t respect anyone they have on their show. These guys are texting each other all day about how bullshit Fox News is. Their group chat is basically MSNBC. There was one text from Carlson that truly freaks me out. Carlson wrote: ‘Do the executives understand how much credibility and trust we’ve lost with our audience? We’re playing with fire … for real and alternative like Newsmax could be devastating to us.’ Think of it like this: Tucker Carlson is a moral vacuum. A hole, if you will, who glorifies election deniers. So, a glory hole. And his viewers expect him to please them with his mouth. And he’s constantly terrified that they’ll find a new, more satisfying glory hole. And that’s why Tucker Carlson will never stop sucking.” — Hasan Minhaj

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Try rolling up the agreement and spanking me with it (Cardi B calls me out)

The new deal gives Trump less than 1.4 Billion for just 55 miles of fences. The border is 2,000 miles long. And remember how Trump shut down the government after a border bill back in December? Well, that deal offered him 1.6 Billion for fencing. That is some A-plus negotiating. Colbert as Trump, “Okay, here we go. You write a number on a slip of paper, pass it across the table to me, okay. Then I’m gonna shut down the table for a month until everyone gets really mad and Cardi B calls me out. Then, I’ll reopen the table, and you slide me an even smaller number, and I say yes. Deal Art-ed. I showed you the art. Show-art.” --Stephen Colbert

Trump didn’t get what he wanted, and his TV friends noticed and they’re being mean about it. Lou Dobbs tweeted, “Their deal is an insult to POTUS and the American people.” Laura Ingraham called it “pathetic.” And Sean Hannity said this bill is a “garbage compromise.” And this afternoon, Trump agreed with those people who he agrees with. Colbert as Trump, “No, it’s not doing the trick, okay. Try rolling up the agreement and spanking me with it. That might do the trick.” --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

the book is written by bin Laden's dumb son, Osama W. bin Laden (And the other, of course, is from Alaska)

"Oh, and Mitt Romney was on 'Fox and Friends.' He talked about his plan to run for president in 2012. It could be Mitt Romney versus Sarah Palin, which would be quite a matchup. I mean, one is a former governor obsessed with looks and hair. And the other, of course, is from Alaska." –Jay Leno

"Congratulations to President Obama on becoming an uncle. His brother-in-law, Craig Robinson, and his wife just had a son in Oregon. Or so they claim. Lou Dobbs is demanding to see the birth certificate." –Jimmy Kimmel

"I was reading a book about Osama bin Laden, and it was written by his son, and according to the son, in the book about his father, the kid claims Osama bin Laden was a cruel parent. Gosh, you think you know somebody. But the book is written by bin Laden's dumb son, Osama W. bin Laden." –David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Mainly because no one wants to eat elk pie (Obama is soft on poultry)

"According to a new poll, more Americans would like to have Thanksgiving dinner with Hillary Clinton than with Sarah Palin. That's what the poll said. Yeah. Mainly because no one wants to eat elk pie." –Conan O'Brien

"It's been reported that CNN got so tired of Lou Dobbs' focus on immigration issues that they paid him $8 million to leave. Yeah, and just to rub it in, they gave it to him in pesos." –Conan O'Brien

"On Friday, President Obama pardons the White House turkey. Mmm-boy. Dick Cheney didn't miss an opportunity. He proves that Obama is soft on poultry." –David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

He's like that when he gets a fresh battery in his pacemaker (I wanna see a list of his meds)

"You guys hear this? 'The Oxford Dictionary' declared that the 2009 word of the year is 'unfriend.' To unfriend means to completely delete somebody you don't like from your life, or as CNN calls it, 'Lou Dobbs them.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Sarah Palin’s book is number one on Amazon.com right now. Stephen King actually has the number two book. It’s a very scary new book called 'Sarah Palin Becomes President.'" –Jimmy Kimmel

"One of the people most bothered by Obama's bow was former Vice President Dick Cheney. He said no American president should bow to anyone. Dick's been unusually feisty lately. He's like that when he gets a fresh battery in his pacemaker." –Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”  

Also not interested in hiring Lou Dobbs, the band Los Lobos (we should have spent $75,000)

"According to excerpts from Sarah Palin's memoir, 'Going Rogue,' the former vice presidential nominee says her infamous Katie Couric interview went so poorly because Couric was badgering, had a partisan agenda, and asked questions." –Seth Meyers

"Fox News made a big announcement, they announced that they are not interested in hiring outspoken anti-immigration anchor Lou Dobbs. Yeah, yeah. Also not interested in hiring Lou Dobbs, the band Los Lobos." –Conan O'Brien

"In her new book, Sarah Palin claims that before John McCain chose her as his running mate, his campaign spent $50,000 on a background check. Yeah. When he heard this, John McCain said, we should have spent $75,000." –Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

She subscribes to the primitive belief that cameras will 'steal her crazy.' (a guy named Juan)

"It's been reported that outspoken anti-immigration anchor Lou Dobbs is leaving CNN. Yeah. True story, yeah. He'll be replaced by a guy named Juan, who will do the same job for $5 an hour." –Conan O'Brien

"The other day in Wisconsin, Sarah Palin gave a speech, and the crowd was searched to make sure there were no cameras. That's right. Yeah, according to experts, Palin subscribes to the primitive belief that cameras will 'steal her crazy.'" –Conan O'Brien

"The AMA is urging the Federal Government not to classify marijuana as a dangerous drug and do more research. That's what they said. It's a big story, yeah. Yeah, that request came not only from the AMA but also from KFC." –Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

It's like Cheney thinks he is still president, you know? (Praying/Preying)

"Barack Obama and Dick Cheney have been going at each other all week. This is like big-time wrestling, isn't it? Man, it's like charisma versus arrhythmia." --Jay Leno

"No, if confirmed, Sonia Sotomayor would be the country's first Hispanic judge. In fact, her first order of business, deporting Lou Dobbs." --Jay Leno

"I can't believe Dick Cheney keeps giving speeches. He's appearing on TV news shows. It's like he thinks he is still president, you know?" --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I think Lou Dobbs' head is going to explode when he hears this (You know what fell out?)

"Hey, you hear about this? Very strange incident at JFK Airport in New York City today. An AIG executive going through security had to empty out all his pockets. You know what fell out? Senator Chris Dodd." --Jay Leno

"The market rallied yesterday after the Treasury said it was going to help banks sell off their toxic assets. That's the big problem, banks can't sell toxic assets. Well, duh. I mean, I'm no economist, but maybe you should stop calling them toxic assets. Huh? Isn't that like KFC advertising salmonella chicken?" --Jay Leno

"Hey, congratulations to Japan for winning the World Baseball Classic right here in Dodger Stadium. Yeah, they beat Korea 5-3, which is perfect. You have the Japanese playing the Koreans in a city full of Mexicans to determine who's best at America's pastime. I think Lou Dobbs' head is going to explode when he hears this." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Restructure? How about rethink or revoke? (illegal Mongolians sneaking over the border)

"China has announced plans to create their own 24-hour news channel. They said it's going to be like a Chinese CNN, basically. In fact, they've already hired Lou Dobbs to complain about illegal Mongolians sneaking over the border." --Jay Leno

"Well, the Catholic observance of Lent started last week. How many have already given up their 401(k)s?" --Jay Leno

"And after giving AIG $85 billion in September and then another $65 billion, what, in November, they're now asking for another $30 billion. The government says they need to restructure the bailout. Restructure? How about rethink or revoke?" --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Do you mind if I play through? (Trump's definitely in the top 45)

Amazon is introducing a new service called Amazon Key, which will allow deliverymen to open your front door and put packages directly inside your house. I don't have a joke here. I just wanted to tell you how you’re going to be murdered. Sleep tight, folks. –James Corden

Fox News host Lou Dobbs interviewed President Trump last night and told Trump he is “one of the most loved and respected presidents in history.” I don't know about that, but he's definitely in the top 45. –Seth Meyers

    

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

She lost most of it betting on cockfights (Behold Unity!!)

President Trump did an interview with Lou Dobbs on Fox News last night. And at one point, Dobbs said Trump is “one of the most loved and respected” presidents in history. Even Trump was like, “Now THAT’S fake news!” –Jimmy Fallon

I read that Queen Elizabeth has made nearly $9 million in winnings from her race horses over the past 30 years. She lost most of it betting on cockfights, but still — that's a lot! –Jimmy Fallon

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

CNN replaced him with an illegal immigrant (Happiest Place On Earth)

"Tourists are flocking to Minneapolis to the bathroom where Senator Larry Craig was arrested. It's like a tourist attraction. People are actually going to the airport now to see it. In fact, today Senator Craig called it 'The Happiest Place On Earth.' They have a sign at the door: 'Your stance must be this wide to get in.'" --Jay Leno

"CNN's Lou Dobbs will be off the air for two weeks after a tonsillectomy. I thought this was kind of mean. While he is recovering, CNN replaced him with an illegal immigrant." --Jay Leno

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Oh, man. In guy world, that is the lowest! (Lou Dobbs head explodes)

"Hey, have you heard Hillary Clinton's new campaign slogan? 'Incoming!' Actually, new revelations about Hillary's trip to Bosnia. You know that whole thing? It turns out it was a misunderstanding. Now she says she went there looking to hire a sniper." --Jay Leno

"The White House is now outsourcing the manufacturing of our passports overseas. Our passports will now be made in foreign countries. See, this is how a global economy works. When an illegal immigrant from Mexico living in L.A. and working in a Japanese-owned company wants to go home to visit his relatives, he uses a passport made in Thailand that he gets by a calling customer service number in India. You see how it works? This could be the thing that makes Lou Dobbs' head explode." --Jay Leno

"More problems for Governor Eliot Spitzer. The New York Post reporting that he has been identified as a long-term client of a second call girl ring called Wicked Models, and his favorite call girl was $1,000 an hour, a girl named Kristin 'Billie' Davis. You know what this means? He was cheating on his hooker with another hooker. Oh, man. In guy world, that is the lowest!" --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats