he was referring to his ability to balance a bowl of chili on his belly (a dozen bails of hay per day)

Former CNN anchor Brooke Baldwin described her sex life and claims that she’s pretty darn good in bed. Brian Stelter also claims that he’s pretty darn good in bed. But he was referring to his ability to balance a bowl of chili on his belly. —Greg Gutfeld

In bid to appeal to older customers, Hasbro has introduced Play-Doh for adults. An already Joe Biden is calling it delicious. —Greg Gutfeld

The View has been hit with major budget cuts. It’s so bad that the ladies have now been reduced to a dozen bails of hay per day. —Greg Gutfeld

And because it was so expensive The View will no longer do a Halloween show, which is a fan favorite because it’s the only time they put on masks. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Yeah, bring your marshmallows (it happened right after he appeared on The View)

The Supreme Court upheld laws banning biological men from competing in female sports. Yet, one woman said it was a real kick in the balls. — Greg Gutfeld 

According to a report, a prominent AI chatbot has been telling its users that JD Vance has rabies. Sounds ridiculous, but not when you consider it happened right after he appeared on The View. — Greg Gutfeld 

The Great American State Fair has themed booths for almost every state, like Nevada's Las Vegas booth, Texas's Alamo booth, and California's uncontrolled fire booth. Yeah, bring your marshmallows. — Greg Gutfeld 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

she no longer believes cows are sacred (she blames herself)

JD Vance has been on a media tour promoting his book about Catholicism. And last year he said that he hopes his Hindu wife Usha converts to Christianity. And now there is hope. Once Usha saw her husband on The View, she no longer believes cows are sacred. —Greg Gutfeld 

During an event in New York City, Hillary Clinton criticized Joe Biden's decision to run again in 2024. She said, "I blame myself for not strangling him first.” —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

12 bottles of Mike's Hard Lemonade (One snag)

Vice President JD Vance has agreed to appear on The View. One snag, they can't find a Secret Service agent willing to pat down Whoopi Goldberg. —Greg Gutfeld 

Kamala Harris's appearance in a new Netflix documentary is creating a buzz that she'll run again. Also creating a buzz, Kamala's 12 bottles of Mike's Hard Lemonade. —Greg Gutfeld 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I'm on my way (to the white light)

So on a recent podcast with LA Mayor Bass, comedian Kathy Griffin insulted the LAPD by accusing them of being part of white nationalism. She says that's because every time the cops see her, they try to throw a hood over her head. —Greg Gutfeld

On The View Jill Biden asserted that Joe would have beaten Trump in 2024. Not to the White House, to the white light. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

So, you can either watch people who suffer from head injuries or the UFC (Jokes on you)

No Kings announced they're holding a protest concert with Bette Midler, Joy Reed, and Jane Fonda on the same night as the White House UFC event. So, you can either watch people who suffer from head injuries or the UFC. —Greg Gutfeld

During a live taping of The View, Whoopi Goldberg mistook an audience member for Barack Obama. I know. When in fact it was Michelle Obama. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

using the same exact technique they employed to get Joy Behar out of an Uber (it may have something to do with surprising a bear)

A tow truck driver has gone viral for rescuing a moose that was stuck in the ice. Evidently, he had practice using the same exact technique they employed to get Joy Behar out of an Uber. —Greg Gutfeld

Authorities aren't sure why a hiker was killed in a surprise encounter with a bear, though it may have something to do with surprising a bear. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

You know something is wrong when... (please stop comparing us to...)

Scientists say new artificial intelligence is finally decoding the secret language of whales. The whale's most common request. Greg, please stop comparing us to Joy Behar. —Greg Gutfeld

The New York Times is reporting that Jeffrey Epstein left a suicide note in his cell. Some questioned its authenticity, however, because it said, quote, "I can't live in a world without Hillary being president.” —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Sometimes a pun has to work (it's good to know Joe Biden will be in a better place)

Tuesday on The View, Joy Behar said Jesus never claimed to be the Messiah, but she did say that he died for her chins. Sometimes a pun has to work. —Greg Gutfeld    

House Democrats have filed six articles of impeachment against Secretary of War Pete Hegseth over Iran. If found guilty, he could be sentenced to another 5 to 10 years at Fox and Friends. —Greg Gutfeld  

Well, it appears women are getting boob jobs from injectable filler made from donated cadaver fats. Hey, it's good to know Joe Biden will be in a better place. —Greg Gutfeld

Caitlyn Jenner said she never should have accepted Glamour's Woman of the Year award in 2015. Even more, by admitting that she was wrong, experts say Jenner can no longer be considered a woman. —Greg Gutfeld        

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 
and Orwell’s 1984.”

How many of you will play yourself? (nobody's more relieved than me and my girlfriend)

 

According to new data, America's teen birth rate fell to a record low last year. And nobody's more relieved than me and my girlfriend. —Greg Gutfeld    

A New York pet company is willing to pay up to $1,000 an hour for someone willing to sniff dog breath. The title is Joy Behar's assistant. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 
and Orwell’s 1984.”

I meant meet him. No, I didn't (an escort service that will honor his AARP card)

Speaking of The View, Alyssa Farah Griffin gave birth to a baby boy and her co-hosts are so excited they can't wait to eat him. I meant meet him. No, I didn't. —Greg Gutfeld

Bill Clinton plans to spend Valentine's Day the same way he does every year, looking for an escort service that will honor his AARP card. He's got a little hole punch on that thing and on the card. —Greg Gutfeld

At least nine ex Joe Biden officials running for office are not even mentioning that they once worked for him and those were his pallbearers. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It's the same technology they use to make fondue over at The View (The 1% that it does work for)

By the way, this year's Olympics will feature women's team curling. This is all part of an effort to show that some women still know how to use a broom. —Greg Gutfeld

At this year's Winter Olympics opening ceremony in Italy, two giant cauldrons were lit simultaneously. Fun fact, it's the same technology they use to make fondue over at The View. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

they will testify on the following conditions (it's testing well)

As part of the Congressional Epstein investigation, the Clintons say they will testify on the following conditions. Hillary wants to choose the date and Bill wants to bring one. —Greg Gutfeld

A Pharmaceutical company is developing an Ozempic appetite suppression drug for dogs and it's testing well. Joy Behar has completely stopped eating her own poop. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

In a related story, the ladies of The View are getting a brand new studio? (What a united nation looks like)

So, yesterday, President Trump reminded Americans that he signed an executive order to bring back mental institutions and insane asylums. In a related story, the ladies of The View are getting a brand new studio? —Greg Gutfeld

Earlier today, President Trump arrived in Davos, Switzerland for the World Economic Forum. His first act of business announcing that the Swiss Miss girl is a seven at best. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

she's fine now after an emergency visit to her blacksmith (I don't have that kind of money)

Newly released documents show Jeffrey Epstein ended his friendship with Bill Clinton because he thought the former president was a liar. Especially the time he said, “My wife will never murder you.” —Greg Gutfeld

Joy Behar was absent from back-to- back episodes of The View after injuring her foot. But don't worry, she's fine now after an emergency visit to her blacksmith. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Maxwell Underpass and Tarp (Yeah, easy for her to say)

Sunny Hostin said it's odd that Pete Hegseth wants tougher physical standards in the military. Yeah, easy for her to say. She's the only one in The View who can still see her feet. — Greg Gutfeld 

Maxwell House Coffee has a new brand called Maxwell Apartment to better reflect where most drinkers live. They also plan to put out a blend for San Francisco named Maxwell Underpass and Tarp. — Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He repaid the donor by having him for breakfast (he will be forced to stay married to three women)

A New Hampshire man is the latest to get a kidney transplant from a gene-edited pig. He repaid the donor by having him for breakfast. —Greg Gutfeld 

A North Carolina husband married to three women has been arrested on bigamy charges. If found guilty, he will be forced to stay married to three women. —Greg Gutfeld

So, Kamala Harris appeared on The View today. It took her 10 minutes before she realized it was Animal Planet. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

a ladies man with commitment issues (Ham of the Month subscription)

Meanwhile, on CNN, Montel Williams called Charlie Kirk's murder suspect a love torn child who was in his first relationship. He then described Ted Bundy as a ladies man with commitment issues. —Greg Gutfeld

While some say it's an attack on free speech, others believe it's an excuse to unload Jimmy Kimmel due to his poor ratings and the cost to keep him on. So ABC had to make a tough call. It was either him or Joy Behar's Ham of the Month subscription. It adds up. —Greg Gutfeld 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It's gotten so bad they repossessed his crack pipe (Joy Behar's waxer)

Hunter Biden told a judge that he has suffered a significant downturn in his income and has debt in the millions of dollars range. It's gotten so bad they repossessed his crack pipe. —Greg Gutfeld 

In non-Biden news, a free diver from Croatia held his breath underwater for an incredible 29 minutes, shattering the previous record held by Joy Behar's waxer. —Greg Gutfeld 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I haven't seen skin stretch like that since I made those bongos out of a drifter (a new world deadlift record)

After fierce criticism, the LAPD quietly withdrew its officers from guarding Kamala Harris. And already she's missing her favorite officer, Captain Morgan. —Greg Gutfeld

MTV's Video Music Awards aired last night. Security was tighter than Jessica Simpson's face. I haven't seen skin stretch like that since I made those bongos out of a drifter. —Greg Gutfeld

Iceland's Thor Bjornson set a new world deadlift record by lifting 1,124 pounds, beating the previous record held by Whoopi's rickshaw driver. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”