it appears they still have to amputate an arm so she can pay for it (if he had dropped him on his head)

So on Saturday, Donald Trump told Ohio voters regarding the upcoming election that we're going to win big and we're going to shove it up their ass. And the Democrats are torn. They don't want Republicans to win, but they love things shoved up their butts. —Greg Gutfeld 

An Ohio cancer patient is suing a hospital after a surgeon allegedly amputated the wrong leg. Worse, now it appears they still have to amputate an arm so she can pay for it. —Greg Gutfeld 

“Doctors were relieved that Vivek Ramaswany caught the child knowing that if he had dropped him on his head, he might wind up voting Democrat.” — Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It's so annoying when your boss is disobedient (it's going to drive good people out of the fraud business)

"The House passed a bill where there's a tax now of 90% on the bonuses that these CEOs get. So, half the Republicans voted against this. They said this is exactly the kind of punitive taxation that's going to drive good people out of the fraud business." --Bill Maher

"Apparently Dick Cheney is coming out with a memoir, and he said during the second term, Bush stopped taking his advice. That has got to hurt. When the most gullible man in America stops buying your bulls**t. It's so annoying when your boss is disobedient." --Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Democrats never do anything to help their approval rating (it’s still in the original wrapping)

President Trump’s visited the Museum of the Bible in Washington DC, where he announced that he had donated his personal Bible, gifted to him by his mother, to the museum. And it’s even more valuable, because it’s still in the original wrapping. —Seth Meyers

And in a post last week on Truth Social, Trump claimed that Democratic lawmakers were only advocating for Epstein survivors in response to the party’s low approval rating. That’s ridiculous. Democrats never do anything to help their approval rating. —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

he’s been diagnosed with stage 4 menstrual cramps (I'm not going anywhere)

As you know Joe Biden shared the news this week that he's been diagnosed with having stage 4 cancer. Not to be outdone, Tim Walz has announced he’s been diagnosed with stage 4 menstrual cramps. —Greg Gutfeld

Kamala Harris recently told a crowd in Orange County that, “I'm not going anywhere." That's because she was too drunk to drive. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

We don’t tolerate that kind of behavior here at Kamala Harris Elementary School (the lowest political bar in history)

Administrators in Pennsylvania are investigating how a kindergartner was able to hand out Jello-shots to his classmates. The outraged principal saying, we don’t tolerate that kind of behavior here at Kamala Harris Elementary School. —Greg Gutfeld

The former FBI Director denied calling for the assassination of President Trump and claims he’s quote, just a grandfather who likes wearing sweaters, jeans and going for nice walks on the beach. Well somebody is auditioning for The Golden Bachelor! —Greg Gutfeld

So the Biden book ‘Original Sin’ is finally out and so are the reviews. According to Politico, it describes Biden as an “ailing, geriatric leader surrounded by mendacious aides”. While the Washington Post details an “elderly, egotistical president shielded from reality by a slavish coterie of loyalists.” So ‘ailing, mendacious, egotistical’ and that’s from media outlets that spent four years smooching Biden’s wrinkly ass. They were so far up his butt I’m surprised they didn’t diagnose the cancer. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It had nothing to do with my weekend at the Mustang Ranch (armed, dangerous and covered in ****)

So it was announced that former President Joe Biden has advanced prostate cancer. I’m sure the announcement had nothing to do with the recently released Hur audio and the bombshell book about his cognitive decline, just like I think how Yoko Ono had nothing to do with The Beatles breaking up. Yeah, and that rash I got had nothing to do with my weekend at the Mustang Ranch. —Greg Gutfeld

Several inmates are still at large after escaping a New Orleans jail. The prisoners had escaped last week through a hole behind a toilet. Authorities warned the public that these inmates are armed, dangerous and covered in sh*t. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Wow, who knew you needed 18 Secret Service agents to put on a condom (doing the math)

As President Trump threatens massive tariffs on alcohol from the EU, consumers are loading up on booze. In a related story Kamala Harris just rented a tractor trailer. —Greg Gutfeld

According to Trump, Hunter Biden had 18 Secret Service agents paid for by us taxpayers, all for his protection. Wow, who knew you needed 18 Secret Service agents to put on a condom. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

or as the rest of the world calls it, her face (philanthropy)

Nancy Pelosi was seen throughout the night with a disturbed and horrified expression, or as the rest of the world calls it, her face. —Greg Gutfeld

Also during Trump's address Democrats failed to stand for Laken Riley family or a child with brain cancer. But I guess they only stand for people, like Joe Biden, who are brain dead. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

See, now it's just part of the job (Licking the knife after I'm done)

"Breaking Bad" airs its final episode on Sunday. It's about a chemistry teacher who has cancer and starts making meth to help cover his medical bills and provide for his family. Or as Republicans call that, a legitimate alternative to Obamacare." –Jay Leno

"This week, America's last living World War I veteran — a man named Frank Buckles, 108 years old — he said he would like to see a memorial in Washington, D.C. You know, when he gets back from Afghanistan." –Jay Leno

"Oh, you know what happened on this day in 1973? Richard Nixon uttered his famous line, 'I am not a crook.' That's back when being a crook could actually hurt a politician's career. See, now it's just part of the job." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

They are still on a “Highway to Hell,” but they're in the far right lane (doing the math)

The Secret Service swept our building today — which is good, it was filthy. –Jimmy Kimmel

AC/DC has a new lead singer. Axle Rose will replace Brian Johnson. At 54-years-old, he will be the youngest member of the group. They are still on a “Highway to Hell,” but they're in the far right lane. –Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

But like they say, there’s still plenty of fish in the sea-metary (5 minutes later)

O.J. Simpson died this week at the age of 76 after a battle with prostate cancer that was planted on him by the LAPD. —Michael Che

72 year old Jerry Turner from The Golden Bachelor announced that he and his 70 year old wife are divorcing after three months of marriage. But like they say, there’s still plenty of fish in the sea-metary. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The real death panels are health insurance companies (How did Vladimir Putin get his hands on my Match.com profile?)

Donald Trump told People Magazine that he’s good at sports. Which could be true, because it does seem like he’s had a lot of concussions. –Conan O’Brien

"In a speech, Russian president Vladimir Putin slammed the U.S. for being 'genderless and infertile.' My question is: How did Vladimir Putin get his hands on my Match.com profile?"  –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Freedom for who? (it's already announced its support for Trump)

At Ohio State University, it was just announced that a tiny human brain has been grown in a lab. Isn't that crazy? And it's already announced its support for Trump for president. –Conan O’Brien

"Fox News host Glenn Beck has lost over 30 sponsors since he called President Obama a racist. And the latest sponsor that he just lost is Clorox bleach. That's amazing. Even a company whose sole purpose is to make things whiter thinks Glenn Beck has gone too far." --Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

When reached for comment, Jeb hid behind his mom's leg (a four-letter word for enclosure)

After the Bush family announced that they will not attend this week's Republican National Convention, Newt Gingrich this morning told interviewers that he believes the Bushes are behaving childishly. When reached for comment, Jeb hid behind his mom's leg. –Seth Meyers

A 91-year-old woman in Germany is under investigation for destruction of property after she tried filling in words on a crossword puzzle on display at an art museum. If charged, the woman could face time in a four-letter word for enclosure. –Seth Meyers

Republican hopeful Rick Perry this week compared Donald Trump to cancer. Which really isn’t fair, because sometimes you can get rid of cancer. –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

she knows how to generate fake enthusiasm for someone who's not going to win (Just Be Cool)

"A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent accuracy. The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy but they prefer to watch you die." –Conan O'Brien

"Jeb Bush welcomed his fourth grandchild. The new Bush grandchild is happy, healthy, and will be running for president in 2048." –Conan O'Brien

"Marco Rubio announced he's running for president. Fun fact: Marco Rubio's wife is a former Miami Dolphins cheerleader. In other words, she knows how to generate fake enthusiasm for someone who's not going to win." –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Russell Brand: Biden's refusal to lower prices on cancer drugs

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

I guess it does sound better than 'Oopsies.' (Do not open trunk)

"This week the Russian government gave all 44 of its Olympic medalists a new Mercedes. When asked what happened to the athletes who didn't medal, Putin said, 'Do not open trunk.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Karl Rove's new memoir, 'Courage and Consequence,' is coming out next week. Not sure if 'Courage and Consequence' is how most people would describe the Bush years, but I guess it does sound better than 'Oopsies.'" –Jimmy Fallon

Here's another big story: After this week's summit fell apart, North Korea says Kim Jong-un may have lost the will for future negotiations. Meanwhile, when they heard the phrase "lost the will," all of Trump's kids passed out. --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Today they released one of our prisoners and in return we sent back one of their shortstops (Hope and Pinot Grigio)

"Today President Obama announced that the U.S. is working to improve its relationship with Cuba in an effort to normalize full diplomatic relations. For instance, today they released one of our prisoners and in return we sent back one of their shortstops." –Jimmy Fallon

"Today everyone was busy looking at all the different numbers, trying to figure out who voted for which candidate. President Obama beat Mitt Romney by 38 points among single women. They say it’s because of Obama’s final campaign slogan, 'Hope and Pinot Grigio.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Rand Paul, the senator from Kentucky, keeps getting into trouble. They say he actually plagiarized an entire section of his 2012 book, 'Government Bullies.' When asked for comment, Paul said, 'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.'" –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Which really isn’t fair, because sometimes you can get rid of cancer (sink or f*cking swim pal)

A new study suggests that dogs notice and try to help when people are upset or in danger. Cats, on the other hand, think it's hilarious. --Seth Meyers

Republican hopeful Rick Perry this week compared Donald Trump to cancer. Which really isn’t fair, because sometimes you can get rid of cancer. –Seth Meyers

According to reports, President Trump is so unhappy with Attorney General Jeff Sessions that he is considering replacing him with former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani. That’s like being so unhappy with your wife that you’re considering replacing her with Rudy Giuliani. –Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I guess you don’t have to wear protection when you go **** yourself (Did someone say Open Bar?)

December 2021

“Given fears about transmissibility of the variant, which is still poorly understood, New York City mayor Bill de Blasio this week unveiled the nation’s first vaccine mandate for private companies, which will apply to 184,000 businesses. That’s the full range of New York businesses, from Famous Original Ray’s Pizza, to Original Ray’s Famous Pizza Ray. De Blasio also imposed proof of vaccination requirements for all kids between the ages of 5 and 11 entering restaurants, theaters and gyms. That’s great, we’ve got to make it safe for our 6-year-olds to hit the leg press.” —Stephen Colbert

“Still, the only thing spreading faster than Omicron is misinformation from conservatives. Georgia representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, tweeted over the weekend: ‘Every single year more than 600,000 people in the US die from cancer. The country has never once shut down. Not a single school has closed.’ Because cancer is not contagious, you nimrod. That’s like comparing apples and oranges to cancer.” —Stephen Colbert

“Marjorie Taylor Greene wasn’t the only GOP lawmaker to sow doubt over the legitimacy of a virus variant. On Fox News host Brian Kilmeade’s radio show last week, Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson said: ‘Fauci did the exact same thing with Aids. He overhyped it.’ Yes, Aids: the pandemic the federal government famously took too seriously. Well, if Aids was overhyped, Senator Johnson, then I guess you don’t have to wear protection when you go fuck yourself.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”