I'm on my way (to the white light)

So on a recent podcast with LA Mayor Bass, comedian Kathy Griffin insulted the LAPD by accusing them of being part of white nationalism. She says that's because every time the cops see her, they try to throw a hood over her head. —Greg Gutfeld

On The View Jill Biden asserted that Joe would have beaten Trump in 2024. Not to the White House, to the white light. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I haven't seen skin stretch like that since I made those bongos out of a drifter (a new world deadlift record)

After fierce criticism, the LAPD quietly withdrew its officers from guarding Kamala Harris. And already she's missing her favorite officer, Captain Morgan. —Greg Gutfeld

MTV's Video Music Awards aired last night. Security was tighter than Jessica Simpson's face. I haven't seen skin stretch like that since I made those bongos out of a drifter. —Greg Gutfeld

Iceland's Thor Bjornson set a new world deadlift record by lifting 1,124 pounds, beating the previous record held by Whoopi's rickshaw driver. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

As a result millions of Americans now believe in life after death (which I heard was an improvement over his first draft)

In Chicago last night former President Biden gave his first speech since leaving office. As a result millions of Americans now believe in life after death. —Greg Gutfeld

During his speech he referred to black children as colored kids, which I heard was an improvement over his first draft. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

But like they say, there’s still plenty of fish in the sea-metary (5 minutes later)

O.J. Simpson died this week at the age of 76 after a battle with prostate cancer that was planted on him by the LAPD. —Michael Che

72 year old Jerry Turner from The Golden Bachelor announced that he and his 70 year old wife are divorcing after three months of marriage. But like they say, there’s still plenty of fish in the sea-metary. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

That’s like getting confronted about your drinking by Rudy Giuliani (I’m pretty sure he has bigpox)

A new book revealed that the ex-Trump lawyer Sidney Powell wanted to hire operatives with “hunting licenses” to take Dominion voting machines since they are obviously “all guarded by elk”, a plan that even Rudy Giuliani nixed. Do you know how crazy you have to be for the voice of reason to be Rudy Giuliani? That’s like getting confronted about your drinking by Rudy Giuliani. —Stephen Colbert

The predictability of Trump and his cronies who start fearmongering about immigration whenever an election is on the horizon. Whenever the ex-president starts, rightwing media obediently follows his cue showing footage of the “caravan” of immigrants that was screamed about before the 2018 midterms with Fox correspondents spreading fear about possible diseases. As far as Trump goes, forget smallpox, I’m pretty sure he has bigpox. —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You know you're boring when people would rather dig coal than listen to you speak (the 622 times he said the word 'ham')

"A group of coal miners in Ohio said that their bosses forced them to attend a Mitt Romney campaign event. You know you're boring when people would rather dig coal than listen to you speak." –Conan O'Brien

"Chris Christie gave the keynote address. In his speech he said the word 'I' 37 times, 'Romney' 7 times, and 'jobs' only once. And then there was the 622 times he said the word 'ham.'" –Conan O'Brien

Yesterday after a 10-hour stand-off, Chris Brown was arrested by the LAPD. Police brought him to the station and put him in the “Chris Brown Wing.” –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Why are you doing it that way? (There are no winners)

“Yep, in just a split second, the Oscars went from Oscar de la Renta to Oscar De La Hoya, you know?” —Jimmy Fallon

“The 94th Academy Awards were held last night and featured the first live performance of ‘We Don’t Talk About Bruno,’ from the Disney musical ‘Encanto,’ followed by an unbelievable live performance of ‘We Don’t Talk About Jada.’” —Seth Meyers

“Seriously, you know it was a strange award show when it ends with a statement from the L.A.P.D., you know what I’m saying?” —Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

So, Alberto Gonzales is really screwed (the L.A.P.D. doesn't know who to beat up)

"It looks like the Senate and the president have finally agreed on an immigration bill. This one looks like it could become law and, of course, nobody likes it. The conservatives say the bill gives amnesty to the illegals. The liberals say it doesn't go far enough to protect the hardworking immigrants here in America. And the L.A.P.D. doesn't know who to beat up." --Bill Maher

"The 12 million people who are here illegally are going to have to go back home to their home countries, touch base, pay a $5,000 fine and then re-apply. Also, you have to prove you've never broken the law here or you can't get back in. So, Alberto Gonzales is really screwed." --Bill Maher

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Now imagine trying to understand that while you're high (It's confusing, right?)

Marijuana is legal here in California by state law. But it's still technically illegal, according to federal law. So the LAPD, the police, can't arrest you for having pot but an FBI agent can. It's confusing, right? Now imagine trying to understand that while you're high. –Jimmy Kimmel

In other smoking-related news, the mayor of New York yesterday proposed a new bill that would raise the price of cigarettes to what would be the highest in the country. If the bill passes, a pack of cigarettes would cost $13 in New York. The only place where cigarettes would cost more is prison. –Jimmy Kimmel

Mayor Bill de Blasio says that when it comes to the health of New Yorkers, big tobacco is enemy No. 1. Enemy No. 2 is pizza. –Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

Police brought him to the station and put him in the “Chris Brown Wing.”

Former Texas Gov. Rick Perry will compete on the upcoming season of Dancing with the Stars. Which is why this season it will be called “Dancing with the Stars … and Rick Perry.” –Jimmy Fallon

Today, the president of Mexico hosted Donald Trump. It was just another example of a Mexican doing a job that Americans don’t want. –Conan O’Brien

Yesterday after a 10-hour stand-off, Chris Brown was arrested by the LAPD. Police brought him to the station and put him in the “Chris Brown Wing.” –Conan O’Brien