Normally I’d say don’t quit your day job but in this case... (the hoax of Trickle Down economics)

There was a hydration break in the war between US and Iran with a second straight day of peace. President Trump decided to stop bombing the strait of Hormuz and to start bombing at the White House correspondents dinner. —Jon Stewart

The president’s performance at the annual event had been widely criticized for being awkward and unfunny. Normally I’d say don’t quit your day job but in this case … I will make an exception. —Jon Stewart

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Hey, AI, can you start Monday? (which you could get in three sizes: poodle, doberman and JD Vance)

Jon Stewart replayed some footage from the chaos during the attack at the White House correspondents dinner, with clips of people grabbing bottles of alcohol for themselves and one man continuing to calmly eat his salad as Secret Service agents rushed to evacuate the president and thwart the attacker. “There have been times I have been very worried about artificial intelligence and whether or not it’s going to replace us. And then there are other times where I think, ‘Hey, AI, can you start Monday?’ —Jon Stewart

On the Daily Show, Josh Johnson also recapped the state visit from King Charles, the “the world’s oldest nepo baby” to Congress, because “even though our country is falling apart right now, it’s also our 250th birthday. So no matter how sad the party is going to be, our friends are still coming over. Then on the ride home they’ll be like: ‘She is a rough 250.’ —Josh Johnson

“Donald Trump desperately wants to be a king. We all know this. He loves pageantry and fanfare and putting his face and name on everything. His official store sells everything from Trump golf balls to Trump beer koozies to Trump pickleball paddles to Trump dog collars, which you could get in three sizes: poodle, doberman and JD Vance.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Uh ... that was also rehab (Well, well, well, look who we have here!)

"On Saturday, Chris Christie tweeted that he had a colonoscopy just hours before he went to the White House Correspondents Dinner. Yeah, that's what you want to see at a dinner — Chris Christie after he wasn't able to eat for 24 hours." –Jimmy Fallon

"Yeah, Rob Ford said he likes rehab because it reminds him of the football camp he went to as a kid. Then his parents were like, 'Uh ... that was also rehab.'" –Jimmy Fallon

New research finds that people who are bullies are more likely to get plastic surgery. Unfortunately, the nerds they bullied are more likely to be plastic surgeons. “Well, well, well, look who we have here!” –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You really don't think they know how angry we've become? (Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage, Magic Mike Pence!)

"On Saturday, Chris Christie tweeted that he had a colonoscopy just hours before he went to the White House Correspondents Dinner. Yeah, that's what you want to see at a dinner — Chris Christie after he wasn't able to eat for 24 hours." –Jimmy Fallon

 Yesterday, 39-year-old Emmanuel Macron became the youngest president in French history. You can tell he’s young ’cause after they swore him in, his first words in his speech were, “So, that just happened.” –Jimmy Fallon

Speaking of strip clubs, listen to this. Yesterday, Mike Pence gave a speech to some Navy sailors. And before Pence walked out, the sailors were told that they had to clap like they were at a strip club. Even weirder, Pence was introduced like this. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage, Magic Mike Pence! --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

I have personally donated thousands of dollars to people who slide down poles for a living (Uh ... that was also rehab)

"Yeah, Rob Ford said he likes rehab because it reminds him of the football camp he went to as a kid. Then his parents were like, 'Uh ... that was also rehab.'" –Jimmy Fallon

Donald Trump was going crazy on Twitter because a big firefighters union decided to endorse Joe Biden instead of him. He's really upset with this union. He sent a tweet that said, "I've done more for firefighters than this dues-sucking union will ever do." Then he added, "I have personally donated thousands of dollars to people who slide down poles for a living." --Jimmy Fallon

"On Saturday, Chris Christie tweeted that he had a colonoscopy just hours before he went to the White House Correspondents Dinner. Yeah, that's what you want to see at a dinner — Chris Christie after he wasn't able to eat for 24 hours." –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I’ve gotta say your job’s not that hard (he has one big political liability)

“Speaking of Joe Biden, on Saturday night, he gave some remarks at the White House Correspondents Dinner. Yep, Biden made jokes about his age, Ron DeSantis, Marjorie Taylor Greene and Fox News. Afterwards he called me up and said, ‘Jimmy, I’ve gotta say your job’s not that hard.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“Biden took a few shots over the weekend at the annual White House Correspondents’ Dinner, which, you know, Trump never went to this event when he was in office. Hard to believe he doesn’t have a great sense of humor about himself.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Ron DeSantis was supposed to help the G.O.P. move past the former president, but he has one big political liability: He’s Ron DeSantis.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Yeah, that's what you want to see at a dinner (Earlier today Joe Biden pardoned a burrito)

May 2014

"This weekend was the White House Correspondents Dinner. President Obama made fun of his low poll numbers, the botched Obamacare rollout, and Governor Chris Christie – while I was on the phone with Putin, negotiating a cease-fire in Ukraine." –Jimmy Fallon

"On Saturday, Chris Christie tweeted that he had a colonoscopy just hours before he went to the White House Correspondents Dinner. Yeah, that's what you want to see at a dinner — Chris Christie after he wasn't able to eat for 24 hours." –Jimmy Fallon

"It's Cinco de Mayo. A lot of people mistakenly think this is Mexico's Independence Day. So remember to correct people if you want to be the most annoying guy at happy hour." –Jimmy Fallon

"Happy Cinco de Mayo. Earlier today Joe Biden pardoned a burrito." –David Letterman

"That is what's great about this country. We will celebrate the beauty of any culture as long as it allows us to drink in the daytime." –Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

voting starts at conception (You gonna eat that)

October 2012

"While he was at a diner this week in Ohio, a man told Joe Biden that he's a good guy but a bad vice president. Which gets even worse when you hear that was the only thing President Obama said the entire lunch." –Jimmy Fallon

"Michelle Obama is with us tonight. She'll encourage us to vote early. Most Republicans are opposed, because they believe that voting starts at conception." –Jimmy Kimmel

"I'm looking forward to interviewing the first lady. I sat next to her when I hosted the White House Correspondents Dinner. But it's hard to have a conversation with Newt Gingrich yelling 'You gonna eat that' over and over again in my ear." –Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He's so cute when he pretends to drive (this weekend Barack Obama really killed)

"What?! Not only did we kill Bin Laden, we killed him in Abottabad! Abottabad sounds like name most New Yorkers would have invented for the fictional place they would have loved to kill Bin Laden." –Jon Stewart

"I suppose I should be expressing some ambivalence about the targeted killing of another human being. And yet — uhhhh, no!" –Jon Stewart

"I'm as giddy as a schoolgirl who just shot bin Laden in the eye. I hope I am never again this happy over someone's death." –Stephen Colbert

"Seth Meyers did a great job at the White House Correspondents Dinner. But I gotta say, this weekend Barack Obama really killed." –Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

By too far, does Cheney mean like waterboarding a guy 183 times? (MINE)

"Anybody see the White House Correspondents' Dinner over the weekend? Vice President Joe Biden was funny. I mean, not shoot your buddy in the face funny. But he was funny, you know. He did what he could." --David Letterman

"Dick Cheney, the former vice president, said that President Obama went too far with the jokes at the correspondents' dinner. By too far, does Cheney mean like waterboarding a guy 183 times?" --David Letterman

"Yeah, they don't know if bin Laden is dead or alive. I was thinking, hell, our last president didn't know if Lincoln was dead or alive, either. What are you going to do?" --David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”   

So you can see why Trump was upset (she's stealing his act)

Saturday night was the annual White House Correspondents' Dinner and once again, President Trump did not attend. And today he seemed to be upset about the jokes directed at his staff, because this morning he tweeted, "The White House Correspondents' Dinner is dead." Then again, can you call anything that's only televised on C-SPAN alive? --James Corden

Comedian Michelle Wolf hosted the dinner, did the most amazing job. During the dinner, she mocked journalists and politicians. So you can see why Trump was upset — she's stealing his act. --James Corden

Trump skipped the correspondents dinner on Saturday night, and instead hosted a rally in Michigan. Trump said he'd rather be around people who loved him, so he went to Michigan and left behind the White House press corps and Melania. --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

This is the first time in history Trump has called a big bust boring (1. Tacos)

"Avengers: Infinity War" had the biggest box office opening of all time. Which is good, because if it bombed, nobody wanted to be the one to tell The Hulk. --Jimmy Fallon

Saturday was the White House Correspondents' Dinner, and Trump called it a very big, boring bust. This is the first time in history Trump has called a big bust boring. --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

One Nation, Class-Divisible, with Security and Tax Cuts for the Rich

Caitlyn Jenner told Diane Sawyer she is writing her autobiography. I think that’s going to be one of those “he said, she said” deals. --Jimmy Fallon

Donald Trump says he is skipping the White House Correspondents Dinner. Of course, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is furious. Christie, as you know, has never skipped a dinner in his life. --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JusticeDemocrats #Bernie2020

Maybe he’s worried his hands are too small to palm a baseball (those turkeys better run)

Today we learned that Trump is violating another norm because he won’t throw out the first pitch at the Washington Nationals’ opening day. I don’t know why. Maybe he’s worried his hands are too small to palm a baseball. –Stephen Colbert

Since Taft, every president, other than Jimmy Carter, has thrown out the first pitch of the season opener. For God’s sake. That means FDR did it! Let that sink in! Not only did FDR beat Hitler in World War II, he also struck him out. –Stephen Colbert

Here we go, America! Trump won’t throw out the first pitch. What else? He won’t go to the Correspondents’ Dinner. He won’t release his tax returns. He won’t put his business in a blind trust. He doesn’t want to live in D.C. What presidential tradition will Trump abandon next? This Thanksgiving, those turkeys better run. –Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Trump's only hope is that Michael J. Fox shows up in a time machine (run for Pope)

Trump needed a strong performance in the debate. His poll numbers have been dropping, and after last night, his only hope is that Michael J. Fox shows up in a time machine. –Jimmy Kimmel

Clinton and Trump are at a dinner together, the Al Smith Dinner, a charity event thrown annually by the Catholic Archdiocese of New York. It has become a tradition for the candidates to show up and tell jokes, like a roast. Tonight Hillary and Donald are one seat apart with Cardinal Timothy Dolan sitting between them, like an unhappy couple hoping to get their marriage annulled. –Jimmy Kimmel

Donald Trump is not a self-deprecating guy. A lot of people believe the reason he got into politics is because President Obama roasted him at the White House Correspondents Dinner. If the cardinal starts making fun of him, he might try to run for Pope. –Jimmy Kimmel

faith-based disaster planning (Or, as Native Americans call it)

"As you know, today was Don't Take Your Illegal Immigrant To Work Day here in Los Angeles. No, all across the nation they had a Day Without Immigrants, is what they call it. Or, as Native Americans call it, the good ol' days." --Jay Leno

"When President Bush was in New Orleans, he said 'We pray there is no hurricane coming this year.' This is what we call faith-based disaster planning." --Jay Leno

"The big drink at the White House Correspondents' dinner this year is something called the Cheney Shot. Have you all had the Cheney shot? The bartender pours you a shot of Wild Turkey and then throws it in your face." --Jay Leno

Looks like I got here just in time!

"Tomorrow night, reporters and celebrities will attend the White House Correspondents Dinner.' Of course, it'll be awkward when the reporters from CNN just spend all night trying to find their table." –Jimmy Fallon





"After taking a leave of absence, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford is apparently going to rehab in Chicago. That's right, he's headed to the Second City. As in, 'the second city where he'll be caught with crack.'" –Jimmy Fallon





"Lawmakers in Illinois have started a new push to legalize recreational marijuana in the state. Rob Ford said, 'Looks like I got here just in time!'" –Jimmy Fallon 



The Russian version of 'Wolf of Wall Street'

"Now Rob Ford is going to rehab. He didn't necessarily want to go to rehab but he has to go to rehab because he promised he would go to rehab. It's like a George Clooney engagement." –David Letterman

"On Saturday, Chris Christie tweeted that he had a colonoscopy just hours before he went to the White House Correspondents Dinner. Yeah, that's what you want to see at a dinner — Chris Christie after he wasn't able to eat for 24 hours." –Jimmy Fallon



"Vladimir Putin has signed a new law banning the F-word from movies. Now the Russian version of 'Wolf of Wall Street' is eight seconds long. You sit down and it's over." –Conan O'Brien



 

Looks like I got here just in time!

"Tomorrow night, reporters and celebrities will attend the White House Correspondents Dinner.' Of course, it'll be awkward when the reporters from CNN just spend all night trying to find their table." –Jimmy Fallon





"After taking a leave of absence, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford is apparently going to rehab in Chicago. That's right, he's headed to the Second City. As in, 'the second city where he'll be caught with crack.'" –Jimmy Fallon





"Lawmakers in Illinois have started a new push to legalize recreational marijuana in the state. Rob Ford said, 'Looks like I got here just in time!'" –Jimmy Fallon 

But I gotta say, this weekend Barack Obama really killed

"Seth Meyers did a great job at the White House Correspondents Dinner. But I gotta say, this weekend Barack Obama really killed." –Stephen Colbert



"It looks like President Obama has a new campaign slogan: 'Yes I Did.'" –Jay Leno



"At the royal wedding, Kate Middleton wore a dress designed by Sarah Burton and Prince William wore something from the Sgt. Pepper collection." –Jay Leno



John Hulse painting