the administration has unveiled a new name for the mission (the cost of owning thyself)

A new poll finds that Americans are overwhelmingly opposed to the Iran war and Trump’s plan to peacefully guide oil tankers through the strait of Hormuz. Oh wait, I’m getting word that the administration has unveiled a new name for the mission. Let’s see, what is it called: Operation Clusterf*ck. —Seth Meyers

A new Ipsos poll which showed Trump’s disapproval ratings at a record 62%, in large part due to gas prices rising $1.50 a gallon since the start of the Iran war. Trump’s disapproval is at an all-time high: higher than Covid and January 6 – a virus and a riot. But I just have a quick question for the 37% who approve [of Trump]. What’s your deal? I get that you’re Maga but what do you actually approve of? Is it worth it for you to pay high gas prices if it means liberals also pay high gas prices? Is that how much you want to own the libs – at the cost of owning thyself? —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The American Revolution was a No Kings rally (It’s like a demented version of Cinderella)

“All the top people from Google, Apple, Amazon, you name it, lined up to eat beef stroganoff and kiss his ass, just as our founding fathers intended — to build a ballroom. It’s like a demented version of ‘Cinderella’ where the pumpkin is in charge.” — Jimmy Kimmel

“You know, on Saturday there is going to be another big protest march in every state in America and in many cities throughout the world. We call it the No Kings rally. The demonstrations will be peaceful, unless you’re watching Fox News, in which case they will be violent, vicious antifa riots led by savages who ‘hate America.’ So, just to be clear, peacefully protesting a wannabe dictator means you hate America. Attacking the Capitol to overturn an election? Patriotic walking tour.” — Jimmy Kimmel

“There is nothing more American than a political protest. The American Revolution was a No Kings rally.” — Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Hey, that's the same pass code I use for the nuclear codes (4,000 gallons of fake blood)

You guys see this? During his meeting in the Oval Office, Kanye took out his cellphone and you could actually see his pass code when he typed it in. Watch this. 0-0-0-0-0-0. Then Trump said, "Hey, that's the same pass code I use for the nuclear codes." --Jimmy Fallon

​​I'm very excited about this. There's another new episode of "Game of Thrones" this weekend. I read that the show set a record by using 4,000 gallons of fake blood. Even crazier, the previous record holder? "Golden Girls." --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Those toddlers are going to lose their teeth anyways (Steal Team Dicks)

December 2021

“Let’s examine the behavior of congressman Jim Jordan of Ohio, who the day before the insurrection texted Meadows with a plan to prevent the legitimate winner of the election, Joe Biden, from taking office. ‘On January 6, 2021, Vice-President Mike Pence, as president of the Senate, should call out all electoral votes that he believes are unconstitutional as no electoral votes at all.’ Jordan has said he forwarded the message written by Joseph Schmitz, a former US defense department inspector general who outlined a ‘draft proposal’ to pressure Pence to refuse to certify the election results, and that Meadows knew the message was forwarded. Well, so what? That’s not a defense. That’s like saying, ‘I didn’t cook the meth, I just sold it at the Gymboree. Those toddlers are going to lose their teeth anyways.’” —Stephen Colbert

“There was a months-long campaign of subversion by half a dozen Republican lawmakers, including Jordan, Scott Perry, Paul Gosar, Louie Gohmert, Mo Brooks and Andy Biggs. The Steal Team Dicks fomented distrust over the election result and planned to derail the symbolic certification of the election before the insurrection thwarted the vote. So they were ready to reject the delegates, seize the ballots and overturn the election, but they were interrupted by the out-of-control mob their lies had created. It reminds me of the words of founding father Benjamin Frankenstein: ‘I’m hearing reports it was Antifa who destroyed the village!’” —Stephen Colbert

“China is building up influence in Africa through binding investments. In recent years, China has pumped money into the continent with large infrastructure projects funded by China’s Export Import bank. That’s right, baby, China has been making it rain in Africa. It’s the most money anyone has sent to Africa without being guilt-tripped by a celebrity singalong. The funding is presented as no strings attached, since China doesn’t care about your government, or human rights, or anything. They’re basically the cool mom of international finance. ‘Oh, you and your friends, you want to come party this weekend? Well, come to our basement with your child soldiers, we didn’t hear a thing!’” —Trevor Noah

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Well apparently, some of the folks down there got blown more than once (Well gee, Wally)

"Why doesn't the media ever give credence to a single

story based on unsubstantiated rumors? [on screen:

Dick Cheney saying, before the beginning of the Iraq

war, that there is 'no doubt' that Saddam Hussein has

weapons of mass destruction]. Oh. Touche."

--Stephen Colbert

 

"This is the first convention I could remember,

where they didn't say the name of the man who

should be the titular head of the party. He is the

president of the United States, George Bush.

Except for the protestors outside, you never

heard that name, or any reference to George

Bush, except for the part about loving children

with special needs." -Bill Maher

 

"$1.4 billion in hurricane relief was spent on

booze, was spent on vacations, spent on hookers.

Well apparently, some of the folks down there got

blown more than once." --David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Where the hell are those Jewish space lasers when you need them? (He did nothing, and he said nothing)

May 2021

“Several Republicans in Congress have spoken out against Nancy Pelosi’s mask mandate. But by far the worst take came from Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, whose every utterance sounds like it is coming from someone being dragged backward out of a Costco grabbing at the DVD rack. Greene, who has a history of anti-Semitism, used an absolutely insane and grotesque analogy when she compared Pelosi’s mandate to the Holocaust on a recent podcast. You just compared having to wear a mask to prevent transmission of a highly contagious respiratory illness to the Holocaust. I’d say you should be wearing a straitjacket, but with you I’m guessing a normal jacket put on backward would probably do the trick: [imitating Majorie Taylor Greene] ‘How do I get out of this? The Antifa Democrats have trapped me in a windbreaker! This is just like Nazi Germany.’” —Seth Meyers

“She’s like the lady at the P.T.A. meeting who argues that math violates the Constitution: [as Greene] ‘According to the First Amendment, two plus two equals whatever I say it does.’ ‘Ma’am, do you even have a child at this school?’ ‘Oh, I guess I need children to have an opinion on the curriculum for a school two towns over from mine. I didn’t know I was living in Soviet Russia.’” —Seth Meyers

“Where the hell are those Jewish space lasers when you need them?” —Jimmy Kimmel

“House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy immediately condemned her comments. He said they were reprehensible and totally inconsistent with the values of the Republican Party. No, just kidding — he said nothing. He did nothing, and he said nothing.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It wants to do what horses want to do: D.J. (Does he think the horse tested positive for Antifa?)

May 2021

“This year’s Kentucky Derby-winning horse, Medina Spirit, tested positive for steroids over the weekend. Donald Trump took to his blog to weigh in with a statement in which he referred to the horse as a ‘junkie.’ What is he talking about? Does he think the horse tested positive for Antifa?” —Jimmy Kimmel

“And honestly, if he’s going to start picking fights with horses, we should let him back on Twitter, because I want to see that.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“I just can’t stop laughing at the image of Trump at his desk writing about his thoughts about a horse by hand.” —Jimmy Fallon

“It is weird, though, to put this on the horse, right? I mean it’s not like the horse wants to take drugs or train all day or race around the track getting slapped on the ass — it’s a horse. It wants to do what horses want to do: D.J.” —Trevor Noah

“Yo, guys, I still can’t believe this guy was president. I mean this man is a legend. What other ex-president spends their time roasting horses?” —Trevor Noah

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

the TVs had so much spittle on them, they came with wiper blades (punching themselves in the face)

February 2021

“But it’s not a waste of time, because whether or not the ex-president is impeached, or whether or not they vote to do the right thing to keep him from holding office again, it is important that one time, as a nation, we look this straight in the face and as it is laid out definitively for the unprecedented and premeditated violation that it is. Because only by facing this truth will we have any hope of stopping it from happening again. Also, I’m pretty convinced it wasn’t Antifa now.” —Stephen Colbert

“Despite the powerful evidence supplied by the House managers and objective reality, many G.O.P. senators seemed to be barely paying attention. Instead, they were seen explicitly not listening: feet up on their desks, reading books and reading briefing papers on other topics. Yes, other, more interesting topics like, ‘How does history tend to remember cowardly, fascist-enabling, worthless pieces of garbage?’” —Stephen Colbert

“The former president’s lawyers had the day off, and they needed it, because they’re still in reconstructive surgery from punching themselves in the face for two hours yesterday.” —Stephen Colbert

“The one man who really did not enjoy his lawyers performance was his client, because reportedly during their opening statement, the used-POTUS was ‘almost screaming’ at the TV. When has he ever ‘almost’ screamed? Back in the White House, the TVs had so much spittle on them, they came with wiper blades.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Now we don't know who won World War II (I didn’t know they kicked it up to voter extinction)

August 2020

“After watching the Republican national convention, I don’t know what’s going on, but I’ve got chills, I’ve got nausea. It’s either the onset of Covid, or seeing 1,500 people with no social distancing, no masks and no testing packed on to the South Lawn of the White House. I know Republicans like voter suppression, I didn’t know they kicked it up to voter extinction.” —Stephen Colbert

“Before Donald Trump capped the convention with a nearly 70-minute speech, he was introduced by his daughter an American Girl doll just following orders, Ivanka Trump, who boasted about working with her father to pass ‘nine pieces of legislation to combat the evil of human trafficking’. And then I watched him tell one of those human traffickers, Ghislaine Maxwell, that he wished her well.” —Stephen Colbert

“The presidency proverbially changes the occupant. It matures them, it ages them. But Trump doesn’t do any of the stuff that matures you or ages you, like worrying about the American people or feeling responsibility for protecting them or evidently anything else. Looking at Trump in 2016 and now in 2020, I guess it’s true what they say: taxidermy don’t cracks-a-dermy. The last four years are like Trump is Dorian Gray and we’re the picture.” —Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He sounds like someone playing charades after pounding chardonnay (Now we don't know who won WWII)

July 2020

“President Trump, in a Fox News interview on Wednesday, discussed the results of a recent cognitive assessment. The president gave the interviewer, Dr. Marc K. Siegel, an example of a question that tests patients’ memory. ‘It’s, like, you’ll go: Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV. So they say, ‘Could you repeat that?’ So it’s: Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV.’ It was impressive until they asked Trump what he ate for lunch that day and he said, ‘Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“What is he doing? He sounds like someone playing charades after pounding chardonnay.” —Jimmy Fallon

“You know, I actually feel a lot better knowing that the president of the United States passed concussion protocol.” —Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

But he does, our unfounding father (a populist revolution)

“Just to recap, the theory here is that a 75-year-old man was using his cellphone to scan police communication equipment in order to black it out. I feel like anyone who has tried to Zoom with their grandparents knows there’s no possible way that’s true. But our president — it takes a special kind of monster to see a peaceful 75-year-old man shoved to the ground by police so hard he bleeds from the ears and take the side of the concrete. But he does, our unfounding father.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Let me get this straight: This 75-year-old man is an anti-fascist, which you somehow consider suspicious. He was somehow able to fall harder than he was pushed, fake a fractured skull, and spontaneously bleed from his ears, all the while operating a secret scanning device in order to black out all police communication equipment. Man, those Jitterbug phones are getting really sophisticated. [imitating old man] ‘This big button is 911, and that one with the smiley face calls my grandson. Oh, and the red one down here with the hammer and sickle starts a populist revolution.’” —Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”