the only person Trump has ever trusted to handle the Epstein situation is a prison guard with the cameras off (37.7%)

President Trump addressed the nation about the war with Iran and threatened to "bring them back to the Stone Age where they belong.” And in the spirit of Easter, let me just say... Jesus Christ! —Colin Jost

This week, Attorney General Pam Bondi was asked to redact herself from her job. President Trump reportedly fired Bondi over her handling of the Epstein files... because the only person Trump has ever trusted to handle the Epstein situation is a prison guard with the cameras off. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Yes, that's who undermined the American medical system (Pam Bondi is a Great American Patriot)

Just a few hours ago we learnt that President Trump fired Attorney General Pam Bondi. Bondi lost her job because Trump was reportedly upset over her handling of the said files, a dark cloud which still hangs over his administration. As Trump wrote on Truth Social: "Pam Bondi is a Great American Patriot and a loyal friend, who faithfully served as my Attorney General over the past year. Pam did a tremendous job overseeing a massive crackdown in Crime across our Country, with Murders plummeting to their lowest level since 1900. 

We love Pam, and she will be transitioning to a much needed and important new job in the private sector, to be announced at a date in the near future." [Colbert as Trump] “It’s a much-needed job at a very important farm upstate. There’ll be lots of room for her to run around. Unfortunately, we can’t go visit her. Now let’s go to the strip mall and get you a new attorney general, buddy.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Weekend Update: Trump Fires Bondi Over Epstein Files, Says He'll Bring Iran Back to Stone Age - SNL

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Bye Bye Bondi & Hello Mommy | The Tim Dillon Show #490

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Last seen on Pam Bondi's desk ($50 Million Reward)

"Yesterday in Louisiana, a judge denied an interracial couple a marriage license because he felt, I quote, their children would later suffer in life from being interracial. Like when they become president or win the Masters or get an Oscar."  --Jay Leno

"Talking to reporters today about the shutdown, John Boehner said, 'If ands or buts were candy and nuts, every day would be Christmas.' You know, if they'd get off our butts and quit squeezing our nuts, we could enjoy Christmas." –Jay Leno

"Well, here's a very bizarre story. People act strangely this time of year. In Toledo, Ohio, a man attacked a Salvation Army bell ringer, grabbed his red kettle, threw it in the back of his truck, yelled, 'I hate Christmas,' and drove off. Here's my question. What is Dick Cheney doing in Toledo, Ohio?" –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Great — now I look fat (Don't come in here!)

Today was Cyber Monday, where they offer a lot of really good deals just to online shoppers. It's the only day of the year where guys have an innocent reason for quickly shutting their laptops and saying "Don't come in here!" –Jimmy Fallon

With Christmas around the corner it seems like everyone is going to parties. I heard that this week Beyoncé went to a Christmas party here in New York dressed as a Christmas tree. Or as the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree put it, “Great — now I look fat.” –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

They left the game early to beat traffic (Just let it ring)

Pringles is selling a line of scented candles in the U.K. that smell like different Pringles flavors. They said they tried selling them in the U.S., but people ate them. –Jimmy Fallon

American Airlines accidentally sent someone's pet corgi to Honolulu instead of Jackson, Mississippi. The owner frantically called the airport in Hawaii, but the dog was like, “Just let it ring.” –Jimmy Fallon

The Philadelphia 76ers set a new record for the longest losing streak in American sports history, with 28 losses in a row since last season. You know the 76ers are bad when THEY leave the game early to beat traffic. –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Oh no, we'll just mail them to you (a human version of bagpipes)

A new poll shows Donald Trump has 36 percent support among Republicans and Ted Cruz is in second place with 16 percent. Meanwhile, Jeb Bush is at 3. Not percent — people. –Jimmy Fallon

"Time magazine has named 'Ebola Fighters' the 2014 Person of the Year. The Ebola fighters said they were honored to be chosen and look forward to the ceremony. Then Time said, 'Oh no, we'll just mail them to you.'" –Jimmy Fallon

I saw that after his recent comments about Muslims, Donald Trump was fired as a global ambassador for Scotland. Which is ironic, ’cuz if there were ever a human version of bagpipes, it's Donald Trump. –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

What kind of haunted asylum are you living in? (an affordability-themed rally)

President Trump gave a speech at a Pennsylvania casino resort that was supposed to be about affordability; but as usual, he was all over the road. For instance, he said he’d gotten “the biggest vote with Black people” because “they know a scam better than anybody.” Stop bragging. You only won 13 percent of Black people. My potato salad polled higher with Black people. I love how Trump is like, ‘Black people love me, and that’s why I came to the Blackest area I could think of: the Poconos.’ — Desi Lydic

”So last night, he held an affordability-themed rally at, where else? A casino. A place where people famously leave with more money than they came in with.” — Desi Lydic

“Trump also told parents to cut back on Christmas presents this year. Yeah. He really did say this. He said that instead of buying 37 dolls for your kids, buy two or three. By the way, who is buying 37 dolls? What kind of haunted asylum are you living in?” — Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The cameras are rolling and the rent is due (Slippery Bathtub, Wisconsin)

President Trump said that he will soon release the results of his MRI test from October. He just needs a little more time to write "of genius" after the word “stroke." —Colin Jost

A new study finds that the best city in the country for retirees is Orlando, Florida, while the worst city for retirees is Slippery Bathtub, Wisconsin. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Wow that's almost a third (emptier than Jerry Nadler's colon after Cinco de Mayo)

The Trump Administration said 50% of the Department of Education staff will be eliminated, shocking the staff who exclaimed exclaimed, ‘Wow that's almost a third.’ —Greg Gutfeld

So as DOGE shines the light, the roaches run in fright. This week a senior official at USAID ordered her troops, or what's left of them, to destroy all their documents at the Ronald Reagan Building in DC. That way their files will be emptier than Jerry Nadler's colon after Cinco de Mayo. —Greg Gutfeld

The high school runner who hit her opponent on the head with a baton faces assault and battery charges, but claims it was all an accident. She actually meant to shoot her. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

all $14 million must be in the form of crumpled 20’s (picket lines)

Attorney General Pam Bondi accused the FBI of hiding thousands of Epstein documents. The FBI put them in a place no one would look. Joy Behar’s back fat. —Greg Gutfeld

Two Denver strip clubs were ordered to pay nearly $14 million for wage theft. Not only that, all $14 million must be in the form of crumpled 20’s. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It's the most Biden has moved in the last four years (neither country wants Drake)

Pam Bondi has removed a large framed photo of Joe Biden from the DOJ. It's the most Biden has moved in the last four years. —Greg Gutfeld

A White House official says Canada becoming a 51st state is still on the table. One sticking point however, neither country wants Drake. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”