"President George Bush was in Los Angeles
yesterday where he announced his new campaign theme — 'Safer, Stronger, and
Tested.' Isn't that a condom ad?" —Jay Leno
"Martha Stewart was convicted of four
counts of lying and obstruction of justice and could serve up to 20 years in
Congress." —Craig Kilborn
"Martha Stewart was found guilty on all
charges. You know what that means, stripes are in this year." —Jay Leno
"How amazing is that? A jury convicting a
rich white woman on felony charges. Michael Jackson must be scared to
death." —Jay Leno
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