"Earlier today, the jury at the Martha
Stewart trial reached a verdict. Martha was found guilty on all charges. In a
related story, there's a huge sale at K-Mart." —Conan O'Brien
"This is serious, if Martha gets the
maximum sentence on all counts, she could serve 20 years in prison. Of course,
you have to take off time off for good behavior, which means 20 years in prison."
—Conan O'Brien
"The White House begun airing their TV
commercials to re-elect the president, and the John Kerry campaign is
condemning his use of 9/11 in the ads. He said, it is unconscionable to use the
tragic memory of a war in order to get elected, unless of course, it's the
Vietnam War." —Jay Leno
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