teach students to count to 84 (win-win)

Trump supporters are planning a huge MAGA takeover of Disneyland on the same date as the gay days celebration, or as Lindsey Graham calls it, a win-win. —Greg Gutfeld  

Yesterday was the 84th anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor. To commemorate the event, our nation's high schools will teach students to count to 84. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Stop! You are all under arrest (I see you, Bush)

March 2022

“President Volodymyr Zelensky of Ukraine addressed Congress by video link on Wednesday, pleading for more help in his country’s fight against Russia. Yeah, that’s right, Zelensky brought out all of America’s major moments: ‘I have a dream,’ 9/11, Mount Rushmore. You know he was on Wikipedia last night planning this out: [imitating Zelensky] ‘OK, Pearl Harbor, Boston Tea Party — should I mention Hulk Hogan sex tape, maybe?” —Trevor Noah

“And by the way, props to him, I mean he knows way more about America than most U.S. senators know about his country. Like, can you imagine how they would sound if they had to give an inspiring speech using Ukrainian history? [imitating U.S. senator] ‘Uh, people of Ukraine, remember the vision of your founder — I want to say Daniel Ukraine?’” —Trevor Noah

“I’m also impressed that Zelensky was able to dodge so many land mines in his research, because you realize this could have gone very wrong: [imitating Zelensky] ‘And now to 9/11, which as we all know from YouTube was inside job. I see you, Bush.’” —Trevor Noah

“Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky delivered a virtual address to Congress this morning and received a standing ovation, making him the first comedian to actually deserve one.” —Seth Meyers

“You know it is powerful when that many old people jump to their feet. There are knees in that room that were alive during the Roosevelt administration.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Dick Clark’s Pearl Harbor’s Rockin’ Eve (he knew the next 48 hours were going to bring chaos)

January 2022

“According to The New York Times’s Maggie Haberman, the real, real reason that Trump cancelled his speech is that it was becoming clear he wasn’t likely to get the live TV coverage he was hoping for. Well, that makes sense. Upstaging solemn events rarely gets good ratings. That’s why they canceled ‘Dick Clark’s Pearl Harbor’s Rockin’ Eve.’” —Stephen Colbert

“In his statement regarding the cancellation, Trump referred to the insurrection as a ‘completely unarmed protest’ and said he was moving the event from Mar-a-Lago to Arizona on Jan. 15. I‘d like to point out that they were armed. And when did we start having to say ‘unarmed’ protests? Protests are unarmed by default. That’s like saying: ‘We had a lovely weekend. It was a totally bloodless cotillion.’” —Stephen Colbert

“It makes sense that he’s moving it from Mar-a-Lago to Arizona, considering their state motto: ‘Arizona: America’s backup Florida.’” —Stephen Colbert

“According to publicly released documents, on 21 December 2020, Sean Hannity texted the White House chief of staff, Mark Meadows: ‘I do NOT see January 6 happening the way he is being told.’ So Hannity clearly knew what was coming. I wouldn’t be surprised if the former president planned this coup with the knowledge of the entire Fox News lineup, including the commercials.” —Stephen Colbert

“Apparently, Hannity saw some downsides to destroying our system of representative government. Hannity sent a text on January 5th, in which he told Mark Meadows he was ‘very worried about the next 48 hours’. So he either had advance knowledge of the plot, or he had just eaten three Taco Bell Burrito Supremes. Either way, he knew the next 48 hours were going to bring chaos.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

#1001Ways #RandomThoughts #poetry 

 

So it’s less of a border policy and more of an improv show (Do Florida next!)

June 2021

“Juneteenth became a national holiday with President Biden’s signature on Thursday. And long overdue. Juneteenth commemorates June 19, 1865, the day the last group of enslaved people in America learned about the signing of the Emancipation Proclamation that had taken place two and a half years earlier. Then, it only took 156 more years until the idea finally reached Washington that maybe we should celebrate this. My understanding is that they’re giving it the full holiday treatment — a day off, community gatherings, and, one assumes, 50 percent off all Tempur-Pedic California Kings.” —Stephen Colbert

“There was a big announcement from Texas-governor-and-man-breathing-easier-thanks-to-Allegra Greg Abbott. Abbott says he’s going to solicit donations from the public to fund the construction of Texas’ border wall. Hear me out — it’s about time. Somebody’s got to keep those Texans out of the U.S. Do Florida next!” —Stephen Colbert

“Abbott was clear on wanting money and wanting wall, but the other details were pretty fuzzy. As one reporter put it, ‘He says Texans can donate their private land and money to the project, but he can’t say what the project will look like, how many miles will be built or where it will be built.’ So it’s less of a border policy and more of an improv show.” —Stephen Colbert

“That’s right, Texas is building a wall, and New Mexico’s going to pay for it.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Maybe the wall is to keep Ted Cruz from fleeing to Mexico the next time there’s an emergency.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“OK, so, one state can do its own foreign policy? It reminds me of that famous headline after Pearl Harbor: ‘Delaware Declares Dela-war.’” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You're a Card Carrying Socialist (The Worst Wing)

“The historic impeachment vote came only after six hours of debate on the House floor, which was a long time to let both sides repeat the same stuff they’ve been saying for months. And there were some interesting arguments made. Georgia Representative Barry Loudermilk, for example, used his minute to tell the House that ‘Pontius Pilate afforded more rights to Jesus than the Democrats have afforded this president.’ Really? You’re going to compare Donald Trump to Jesus Christ? May I remind you, Jesus never had to cut a check to keep Mary Magdalene quiet.” --Stephen Colbert

“Trump himself is reportedly upset by the news, as evidenced by a six-page screed sent to House speaker Nancy Pelosi on Tuesday, but an unnamed aide told the Washington Post that staffers aren’t too troubled by the vote: ‘We’ll just wake up on Thursday after this absurd impeachment vote and say, Well, that was quite a season three finale. What’s going to happen in season 4?’ Yes, exactly – the Trump presidency is just a TV show we all have to live through. I call it: The Worst Wing.” --Stephen Colbert

But, as upset as Trump sounds about his impeachment, his Republican minions in the House seemed even more angry, because they spent the day arguing on the Floor of the House and competing to see who could make impeachment sound the worst. Numerous inappropriate comparisons were made – one GOP congressman labeled Democrats ‘the Senator McCarthys of our time,’ another invoked Pearl Harbor, and of course Representative Loudermilk made his comments about the relative ease of Jesus’s persecution. Holy shit, did these guys just compare impeachment to Pearl Harbor and what happened to Jesus? Did they just Google bad things and click ‘I’m feeling lucky’– is that what happened?’ First of all, people actually died at Pearl Harbor – no one’s dying here. Secondly, Jesus was tortured and then nailed to the cross, that is way worse than what’s happening to Trump. And even if Trump was going to be put on the cross he’d never carry it himself – he’d probably put it in the back of a golf cart.” --Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

And that is why, in 1941, America invaded China (Different Results)

     

"As you know, the Bush administration's conduct concerning prosecuting the war on terror has been questioned by some. But as the president himself explains, there is a perfectly good reason why we don't understand what he's doing [on screen: Bush, in multiple interviews, saying Iraq is 'a totally different kind of war']. 

Obviously, we invaded Iraq initially because this war is historically unprecedented. Yesterday, the president explained to us why we must stay in Iraq -- historical precedent. Yes, that was the message yesterday as Bush addressed the Veterans of Foreign Wars, an organization whose numbers he has personally done so much to boost. 

[on screen: Bush citing the Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor to make the case for the Iraq war]. And that is why, in 1941, America invaded China. Yes, with the pivotal Petraeus surge report just weeks away, Bush began his surge to gain support for the Iraq war the only way left by talking up a bunch of other wars." --Jon Stewart

    

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Pearl Harbor was an air traffic control issue (rocket science)

In an interview yesterday, White House chief of staff John Kelly said the Civil War was caused by a lack of ability to compromise. Even weirder, he said that Pearl Harbor was an air traffic control issue. –Seth Meyers

I don't know why we ever thought there was a reasonable person working in Trump's White House. That's like going into a Hot Topic and asking to meet their rocket scientist. –Seth Meyers

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Ann Coulter sperm donor (day that will live in the infirmary)

"Vice President Cheney's lesbian daughter, Mary, is pregnant. The big guessing game in Washington now is who donated the sperm? I'm guessing Ann Coulter." --Jay Leno

"Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has warned western leaders to 'follow the path of God or vanish from the face of the earth.' Experts say it is the most bone-chilling threat delivered from a four-foot tall man in a 'Members Only' jacket." --Conan O'Brien

"Today is December 7th, the 65th anniversary of Pearl Harbor. Or as President Bush refers to it, 'The day that will live in the infirmary.'" --Conan O'Brien