the voice of reason is a stroke victim who dresses like he steals from a laundromat (You can do this already with a Zip code)

Rosie O’Donnell has left the United States and moved to Ireland. Poor Ireland, suddenly that whole Potato Famine doesn't seem so bad. Soon the Irish will be praying to St Patrick to get rid of her and bring back snakes. —Greg Gutfeld

The Democrat party’s in free fall. From the lowest level man-child to the highest level politician. There's no reason, no optimism, just insanity piled on insanity. And it’s ready to topple like a human pyramid with Joy Behar on top. —Greg Gutfeld

This might be the future of the Democratic party but it doesn't have to be. There's Senator Fetterman, once a progressive darling who is now reviled by them for approaching normalcy. You know your party’s in trouble when the voice of reason is a stroke victim who dresses like he steals from a laundromat. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You can do this already with a ZIP code (side of mayo)

President Trump had lunch with Vice President Mike Pence today. He didn't mean to. He just asked a waiter for a side of mayo and they brought Pence over. --Seth Meyers

A new CNN poll shows that Carly Fiorina has pushed Chris Christie out of the top 10 for the Republican nomination. Unfortunately, she threw her back out doing it. –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I’m pretty sure I had a robot make me a frozen burrito last night (6 pounds, 7 oncés)

In a new branding initiative announced today, the Fox News channel has said that it’s getting rid of its longtime slogan “Fair and Balanced.” Yeah, they’re getting rid of that. Here is an idea. If Fox News really wants to be accurate, shouldn’t they just really drop the part that says news? But then again, it’s just nice to see Fox get rid of something for reasons other than sexual harassment. –James Corden

The big news over the weekend is that Beyoncé’s twins are here! Beyoncé’s father announced on Twitter that she gave birth last week to two healthy twins weighing in at 6 pounds, 7 “oncés.” –James Corden

A new restaurant has opened in Boston where all the food is cooked by robots. The restaurant was started by a group of engineers from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. A robot that can cook a meal. Is this a new thing? Isn't this just a microwave? I’m pretty sure I had a robot make me a frozen burrito last night. --James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

it’s just nice to see Fox get rid of something for reasons other than sexual harassment (Nice. Now eat him...)

A new restaurant has opened in Boston where all the food is cooked by robots. The restaurant was started by a group of engineers from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. A robot that can cook a meal. Is this a new thing? Isn't this just a microwave? I’m pretty sure I had a robot make me a frozen burrito last night. --James Corden

In a new branding initiative announced today, the Fox News channel has said that it’s getting rid of its longtime slogan “Fair and Balanced.” Yeah, they’re getting rid of that. Here is an idea. If Fox News really wants to be accurate, shouldn’t they just really drop the part that says news? But then again, it’s just nice to see Fox get rid of something for reasons other than sexual harassment. –James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Things you were probably doing already (This factory is terrible)

"The State Department issued a new travel warning yesterday, urging U.S. citizens to avoid Syria. Yeah, it was part of a new set of warnings called, 'Things you were probably doing already.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Chinese President Xi Jinping is planning to make his first official state visit to the U.S. Although I'm worried it'll be a little awkward when he visits a school and says, 'This factory is terrible.'" –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I mean, 148 years later this guy still can't get any security (three espresso shots & a vigorous slap)

July 2013

"Neural scientists at M.I.T. say they can plant false memories in your brain. No, that is not new. Politicians have been doing that for years. They're called campaign promises." –Jay Leno

"The head of the TSA said beginning later this year people can pay an $85 fee that will allow them to go through the airport line very quickly with minimal checking. Or as terrorists call that, money well spent." –Jay Leno

"The Lincoln Memorial was vandalized last night. Somebody snuck in the Lincoln Memorial and threw green paint all over Lincoln. How is that even possible? I mean, 148 years later this guy still can't get any security? Come on." –Jay Leno

"The Vatican announced that the late Pope John Paul II will become a saint after they approve a miracle where he cured a woman of severe brain injury, which is pretty impressive. Not as impressive, though, as the miracle of Anthony Weiner still being married, but that's impressive." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

When I over-water one of my plants the economy stays open and Americans can still travel to Canada (Get some help)

July 2020

“The Chris Wallace interview is further evidence that we have a pudding-brained informercial salesman who’s more interested in what happens to a dead Confederate general than a living middle school teacher. Trump is trying to convince that statues and graffiti are more important than a pandemic that’s caused massive suffering. As for Trump’s boast about his cognitive test, I don’t know what’s more alarming: that Trump even had to take this test in the first place, or how proud he is with how he did. It’s possible this is the first test he ever passed that he took himself. He probably paid an MIT student to come with him but then when he saw how easy it was, sent him home.” —Seth Meyers

“When asked yesterday about his statements that downplay the severity of the coronavirus, President Trump said, quote, ‘I guess everybody makes mistakes.’ Yeah, but there are mistakes, and then there are mistakes. When I over-water one of my plants the economy stays open and Americans can still travel to Canada.” —Seth Meyers

“Some experts called it a fiasco, while others called it a debacle. I’m not saying it was bad, but by the end of it, Kanye was calling for Trump to get some help.” —Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

You know it’s bad when people are going into the airplane bathroom for some fresh air (I had a robot make me a frozen burrito last night)

A new restaurant has opened in Boston where all the food is cooked by robots. The restaurant was started by a group of engineers from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. A robot that can cook a meal. Is this a new thing? Isn't this just a microwave? I’m pretty sure I had a robot make me a frozen burrito last night. --James Corden

It’s a little different than having a human cooking staff. Instead of finding a hair in your food, you'll find a USB cable. --James Corden

A plane in Holland was forced to make an emergency landing after a passenger’s body odor was so bad that it caused others to vomit and faint. You know it’s bad when people are going into the airplane bathroom for some fresh air. --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Which makes it extra creepy when you find a hair in your food (lunch money)

A group of MIT graduates just opened a restaurant in Boston where the chefs are all robots. Which makes it extra creepy when you find a hair in your food. --Jimmy Fallon

Last night, a Picasso painting of a naked girl was sold at an auction for $115 million. So, congrats to the middle school boys who all pooled their lunch money together to buy it. --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

We thought it was not real!! (get help)

I read that New York City could host the World Cup in 2026. That’s right, thousands of people trying not to use their hands — or as that's called in New York, "riding the subway." –Jimmy Fallon

The Connecticut lottery's mobile app malfunctioned this weekend and told some lottery winners they had lost. When instead, they should have been told, “You have a lottery app on your phone — get help.” –Jimmy Fallon

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans