because there’s nothing worse than getting an erection and forgetting why (Well, he sounds like a Democrat to me)

December 2022

“When asked if he would follow the lead of Senator Kyrsten Sinema and leave the Democratic party, fellow obstructionist Joe Manchin, of West Virginia, told reporters: ‘I’ll look at all of these things. I’ve always looked at all those things, but I have no intention of doing anything right now.’ Well, he sounds like a Democrat to me.” —Seth Meyers

“And according to new research, taking the erectile dysfunction drug Viagra could decrease the risk of developing Alzheimer’s. Which is great, because there’s nothing worse than getting an erection and forgetting why.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

She’s like the person who shows up to your wedding wearing white, or goes to your funeral in a coffin (So remember to tip, because your delivery guy definitely has an ax)

“Arizona senator Kyrsten Sinema has decided to leave the Democratic party and register as an independent. That is shocking – Kyrsten Sinema was a Democrat? Sinema announced her decision days after Raphael Warnock won the Georgia runoff election, securing a clear Democratic majority in the Senate. Naturally, Sinema decided to make it about her. She’s like the person who shows up to your wedding wearing white, or goes to your funeral in a coffin.” —Stephen Colbert

“Well, guys, we are right in the middle of the holiday season, and I saw that Instacart is now offering same-day delivery for Christmas trees. So remember to tip, because your delivery guy definitely has an ax.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Meanwhile, Elon Musk also said that Twitter's character limit for tweets is going to increase from 280 to 4,000. People are like, ‘4,000 characters? At that point, I may as well get my news from the news.’” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

But when he gets Mitch McConnell pregnant with another secret baby? It’ll be all worth it! (If it was about babies...)

November 2022

“We can celebrate that the Democrats will keep control of the Senate. But remember, if Republicans take control of the House, then every dream the Democrats have of codifying Roe v Wade or taxing the rich or turning Pete Buttigieg into a real boy – they can’t do it. I mean, they probably weren’t going to do it anyway, but now they have someone to blame.” —Trevor Noah

“Still, though Democrats no longer need Raphael Warnock’s victory over Herschel Walker in Georgia, it would give them an extra cushion for when Joe Manchin tries to cockblock them, or Kyrsten Sinema goes rogue, or Bernie Sanders misses a vote because he’s arguing with a grocery store manager.” —Trevor Noah

“But can we just admit, now that the stakes are a little lower, you kinda want to see what Herschel Walker would be like as a senator. I’m not saying they should, and I’m not saying it would be good for Georgia or the country, but when he gets Mitch McConnell pregnant with another secret baby? It’ll be all worth it!” —Trevor Noah

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

In fact, right after the announcement, his approval rating skyrocketed to 11 percent (Look at you, Joe, look at you!)

July 2022

“Also, what a week for Joe Biden, huh? First he defeated Covid, then he defeated low expectations. Look at you, Joe, look at you!” —Trevor Noah

“The Inflation Reduction Act doesn’t include everything that Biden wanted with Build Back Better, but it’s still a big deal. It lowers prescription drug prices, enforces taxation of corporations, and marks $370 Billion to fight climate change through tax incentives and grants. This is a huge win for the Democrats, but remember, this is the Democratic party, so there’s still plenty of ways for this thing to fall apart. House Democrats could come out against it. Kyrsten Sinema could come out against it. Joe Manchin could come out tomorrow and oppose the bill just out of habit. But if it does get through, this could be the legislative victory that the Democrats need to ride into the midterms and only lose the House by 200 seats!” —Trevor Noah

“This is a huge victory for Biden. In fact, right after the announcement, his approval rating skyrocketed to 11 percent.” —Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Dammit, why did I get this (keeping black folks down with a quiet handshake since 1787)

January 2022

The oldest living person in the United States died this week at the age of 115. It’s a powerful reminder to always test your cocaine for Fentanyl. —Michael Che

Senate republicans lined up to shake Kyrsten Sinema’s hand after she voted against changing the filibuster to pass voting rights. Ah, the U.S. senate, keeping black folks down with a quiet handshake since 1787. —Michael Che

A new study shows that the Covid vaccine does not cause infertility in men or women. ‘Dammit, why did I get this.’ —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

#1001Ways #RandomThoughts #poetry  

 

Your vice president was like if a rice cake went to Bible school (which is also a pretty good description of Kyrsten Sinema)

January 2022

“Former President Trump has reportedly been complaining to confidants about Florida governor Ron DeSantis and said he has a, quote, ‘dull personality.’ I’m sorry, that’s suddenly a concern of yours? Your vice president was like if a rice cake went to Bible school.” —Seth Meyers

“The US Senate marked Martin Luther King’s birthday by doing what they do best: nothing. Hopes for a voting rights protection bill were dashed on Monday by the Arizona senator Kyrsten Sinema, who opposed lifting the filibuster that would allow Democrats to pass the measure without Republican support. ‘What is the legislative filibuster other than a tool that requires new federal policy to be broadly supported by senators representing a broader cross-section of Americans?’ she said on the Senate floor. No. No. Not representing a broader cross-section of Americans? The 50 senators who are currently filibustering the voting rights bill represent 41 million fewer Americans than the senators who support it. Stop acting like the filibuster is anything other than an anti-democratic tool – which is also a pretty good description of Kyrsten Sinema.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

#1001Ways #RandomThoughts #poetry  

 

How did we go from middle class to working poor in only 35 years? (she hates that)

November 2021

“According to a new book, former Acting Defense Secretary Christopher Miller purposely offered, then presented, Donald Trump extreme military scenarios in the final week of his presidency to prevent him from choosing to attack Iran. Unfortunately, he opted for the craziest one — attacking the U.S.” —Seth Meyers

“After the election, Sidney Powell contacted a Pentagon official to push the claim that the C.I.A. director had been hurt and taken into custody in Germany while ‘on a secret mission to destroy evidence of voter fraud on a computer server that belonged to a company named Scytl.’ Where did Powell get this urgent news? From a false conspiracy theory that had been gaining steam among QAnon followers. Oh, yeah, that theory is definitely steaming.” — Stephen Colbert

“During the signing ceremony for President Biden’s bipartisan infrastructure bill, Biden twice referred to Arizona Senator Kyrsten Sinema as ‘Kristen.’ And that’s the worst thing you can call her besides a Democrat — she hates that.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Finally, someone speaking up for billionaires because it’s so hard to hear them from space (Say No?)

October 2021

Senator Kyrsten Sinema says she is opposed to raising taxes on the wealthy to pay for President Biden’s agenda. Finally, someone speaking up for billionaires because it’s so hard to hear them from space. —Michael Che

Donald Trump announced the launch of his own social media network he’s calling Truth Social. But most people know it by its original name The National Sex Offender Registry. —Michael Che

At a CNN town hall President Biden discussed the importance of addressing mental health saying, “a broken spirit is no different than a broken arm.” Well, if I keep betting on the Giants, I’m going to have both. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

the Republican catcher went nuts about having to wear a mask (Can you get back to work, Joe?)

September 2021

“Despite this week’s turmoil in Washington, including the threat of a government shutdown, the annual Congressional Baseball Game went ahead as scheduled, with President Biden and Speaker Nancy Pelosi among the spectators. It was just baseball, no politics, until the Republican catcher went nuts about having to wear a mask.” —Jimmy Fallon

“It was a real nail-biter. In the eighth inning, I got a text from Pelosi saying, ‘We’re down by one run and only your donation of $26 can turn this around.’” —Jimmy Kimmel

“But Pelosi had to work the phone instead of watching what I’m sure was a terrible baseball game. You think regular baseball is slow, imagine what it’s like with these bozos.” —Seth Meyers

“President Biden stopped by for the game, although it was a little creepy when he left by disappearing into a cornfield.” —Jimmy Fallon

“And while he was there, he handed out ice cream bars with the presidential seal on the package. I scream, you scream, we all scream, ‘Can you get back to work, Joe?’” —James Corden

“The Republicans beat the Democrats 13-12, but only because Kyrsten Sinema refused to tag anyone out.” —Seth Meyers

“The Dems had a chance for a big win, but in the bottom of the ninth, Joe Manchin wrote a letter cautioning that it would be irresponsible to score.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”