NHL: Colorado Avalanche vs Dallas Stars

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I'm going to miss him when he's arrested, I really am (Oh, presents)

So they asked President Trump, since he isn't getting enough credit, they asked him to assess his own performance to date. What grade do you think the president gave himself? Let's find out. [Trump clip] “I would give myself an A-plus.” That's right, A-plus. Not an A, an A-plus. Just an unbiased review from a guy who names everything from neck ties to meat after himself, an A-plus. I'm going to miss him when he's arrested, I really am. --Jimmy Kimmel

"The only fun thing about filing your tax return is getting a refund. About 80 percent of taxpayers get money back, which is a weird thing to be happy about. That means you've been overpaying all year long. It's like if someone broke into your house and the police recovered the stuff and brought it back and you said, 'Oh, presents.'" –Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

So now Arizona has two Grand Canyons (But hey, that’s Indian food for you)

October 2021

A new report shows that President Biden is on average 22 minutes late for public events. Worse, he only does it to appeal to black voters. —Michael Che

A British woman was shocked when she discovered a four foot long python in her toilet. But hey, that’s Indian food for you. —Michael Che

A new study shows that coronavirus can cause infertility in men. See, so it’s not all bad. —Michael Che

A woman in Arizona gave birth to a 14 pound baby boy. So now Arizona has two Grand Canyons. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

we’re gonna figure out how bad he’s doing when we all have to make coffins in shop class (they keep coming back)

July 2020

“Masks are still the best bet for minimizing the virus, according to Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) director, Dr. Robert Redfield, who said in a web call on Tuesday that ‘if we could get everyone to wear a mask right now I really do think over the next four to six weeks we could get this epidemic under control’. 

Super, so all we have to do is show some discipline. Shouldn’t be a problem for the country that invented hot dog bites pizza. The rising case numbers across numerous southern and western states are reflecting poorly on the administration, which might explain why this week it demanded coronavirus data be sent to the administration rather than the CDC in Atlanta. 

It’s clear that Trump doesn’t want us to know what the real coronavirus numbers are. He knows he’s failed – he’s just like a kid grabbing his report card out of the mailbox before anyone can see it. But we’re gonna figure out how bad he’s doing when we all have to make coffins in shop class.” —Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

matching quid pro quo back tattoos (except they keep coming back)

“Believe it or not, the John Bolton revelations aren’t the only big new piece of evidence. Because remember Lev Parnas, yes? Rudy Giuliani’s right-hand man and the Count from ‘Sesame Street’? Well, after Parnas said he worked with Trump to get dirt on Joe Biden, Trump repeatedly claimed he has no idea who this man is, and that’s even though they have appeared in more photos together than Mariah Carey and Christmas trees.” —Trevor Noah

“Come on, guys, I’m sorry — you just can’t keep pretending that Trump doesn’t know this guy, all right? Because, first, they said Trump wouldn’t remember all the people he takes photos with. O.K., I understand that. Now they’re saying Trump can’t remember all the people he has private dinners with? What’s next? They’re gonna be like, ‘Look, the president gets matching quid pro quo back tattoos with a lot of people — he can’t be expected to remember all of them!’” —Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

So, kids, get ready for a ride where Dad cuts your hand off (the Accidente)

Some more news here. I saw that Kia just debuted a new electric car that has a dashboard with 21 screens. 21 screens. They even have a name for it: the Accidente. --Jimmy Fallon

Hey, guys, listen to this: Disney has a new "Star Wars" theme park. And they're promising a fully physical and immersive experience. So, kids, get ready for a ride where Dad cuts your hand off. --Jimmy Fallon

Thank you, Trump's signature, for also being a picture of his heart rate while watching Michael Cohen's testimony. --Jimmy Fallon

Thank you, March weather. I can't wait to wake up every day and play the age-old game pleasant spring day or full-blown arctic apocalypse? --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Give it to the people at the bottom and the people at the top will have it before night, anyhow (Hershey's Just the Tips)

Hey, at one point in the game, I saw Tom Brady yelled out, "Reagan, Reagan," and the Patriots ran the ball to the right. Did you see that? Then later, the Rams ran a play called Trump, and they got sacked by Nancy Pelosi. --Jimmy Fallon

Oh, you guys, I'm now being told that during that last joke, five more Democrats announced they're running for president, and the Rams just punted again. For fun. They just did it for fun. --Jimmy Fallon

Get this -- In a recent intelligence briefing, Trump thought Nepal was part of India. Then later Trump was like, "I know exactly where Nepal is." It's right in the middle of Adam Levine's chest. Yes, he has two. He has two Nepals." --Jimmy Fallon

And finally, the CEO of Hershey says that they're fixing the way they make Kisses so that the tips don't get broken off. That's a good move, because nobody was buying their new product, Hershey's Just the Tips. --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

He got that information by waterboarding himself (It might be worth it except they keep coming back)

"And today, President Obama announced a salary cap of $500,000 for executives at banks and companies that have received taxpayer bailout money. And you know — it is good. But I'll tell you something, you can tell a lot of these CEOs don't get it. They said, 'Well, that's $500,000 a month, right?'" --Jay Leno

"Man, here's something chilling. Former Vice President Dick Cheney is now warning that there will be another terrorist attack. He got that information by waterboarding himself." --David Letterman

"See, the whole theory behind this salary cap is if you're not performing well, and you're taking taxpayer money, then that should be reflected in lower wages. Of course, under that criteria, everybody in Congress should get like, what, 2 bucks an hour?" --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”