Just one of the reasons we remember Herbert Hoover as our greatest president (Who’s ready to learn how to make their own iPad from scratch?)

Donald Trump finally announced his tariff plan on Wednesday, a day he referred to as “liberation day”. Or, in other words, “thanks to Donald Trump, America is finally free from the tyranny of being able to buy stuff from other countries. Who’s ready to learn how to make their own iPad from scratch?” —Stephen Colbert

After weeks of speculation, Trump announced 10% tariffs on goods from all countries, plus additional markups – 34% on imports from China, 20% on imports from the European Union, 25% on imports from South Korea, 24% on those from Japan and 32% on those from Taiwan. In all, the most severe set of US trade tariffs since 1930. Ah yes, the 1930 Smoot-Hawley tariffs. Just one of the reasons we remember Herbert Hoover as our greatest president. —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? (Their ratings were terrible)

"We have a new Congress starting today. The 114th Congress convened today in our nation's capital. I thought Congress got canceled after last season. Their ratings were terrible." –Jimmy Kimmel

 There's a website called Fact Base that did an analysis of the first 30,000 words spoken in office by every U.S. president since Herbert Hoover. So they loaded all the speeches into a computer, and what their software found is that President Trump speaks at a fourth-grade level, lower than any president they've ever measured. Herbert Hoover is at the top, 11th grade level. Obama was in third place with ninth grade. And then, way all the way in the back of the class in the fourth grade, there's Donald Trump. Remember that show "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader"? He's not. --Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

So, kids, get ready for a ride where Dad cuts your hand off (the Accidente)

Some more news here. I saw that Kia just debuted a new electric car that has a dashboard with 21 screens. 21 screens. They even have a name for it: the Accidente. --Jimmy Fallon

Hey, guys, listen to this: Disney has a new "Star Wars" theme park. And they're promising a fully physical and immersive experience. So, kids, get ready for a ride where Dad cuts your hand off. --Jimmy Fallon

Thank you, Trump's signature, for also being a picture of his heart rate while watching Michael Cohen's testimony. --Jimmy Fallon

Thank you, March weather. I can't wait to wake up every day and play the age-old game pleasant spring day or full-blown arctic apocalypse? --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

the only Iraqi these days worried about dying of natural causes (casting their votes for Herbert Hoover)

"Big news about the '08 presidential election. Florida just announced it has moved up its primary to January 29th. This will give Florida voters a chance to get to the polls earlier and cast their votes for Herbert Hoover." --Conan O'Brien

"The president of Iraq, Jalal Talabani, came to America today to check into a weight loss clinic 'cause he's dangerously obese. Apparently, Talabani is the only Iraqi these days worried about dying of natural causes." --Conan O'Brien

"C-SPAN is launching a new satellite radio station that will be completely dedicated to covering the 2008 presidential election. Experts say that listening to C-SPAN is the perfect solution for people who find watching C-SPAN too stimulating." --Conan O'Brien

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Herbert Hoover is at the top? (Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?)

There's a website called Fact Base that did an analysis of the first 30,000 words spoken in office by every U.S. president since Herbert Hoover. So they loaded all the speeches into a computer, and what their software found is that President Trump speaks at a fourth-grade level, lower than any president they've ever measured. Herbert Hoover is at the top, 11th grade level. Obama was in third place with ninth grade. And then, way all the way in the back of the class in the fourth grade, there's Donald Trump. Remember that show Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? He's not. --Jimmy Kimmel

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

JOKES: It was officially the least frightening thing Trump has done since he took office

At the White House yesterday, President Trump popped out from behind a screen and surprised a group of children. It was officially the least frightening thing Trump has done since he took office. –Conan O’Brien

A new study reveals Americans are getting fatter and giving up on their diets. The study was conducted by going to a water park for five minutes. –Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

JOKES: Siri told me, “Look it up yourself, [bleep].” And then slapped me

Today for International Women’s Day, women across the country protested by refusing to work. That’s a true story. That’s what happened today. In fact, earlier today Siri told me, “Look it up yourself, [bleep].” And then slapped me. –Conan O’Brien

In honor of International Women’s Day, Snapchat added famous women to their selfie lenses. Snapchat called it the perfect way to honor the enduring contributions of women for 10 seconds. –Conan O’Brien

According to a recent poll, first lady Melania Trump’s approval rating has increased to 52 percent since President Trump’s inauguration. And her “feel sorry for her rating” is over 90 percent. –Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Say Bob, is Barack Obama black? I don't know. Ask Phil, he follows politics (the p---- card)

"How many saw the Republican debate last night? Wow!  Mitt Romney last night in Florida played the p---- card against the Clintons. It's only January and he's not even the candidate. He said the idea of Bill Clinton back in the White House with nothing to do. Now that is a man who wants to be president. He is telling the Republican base, 'You know what? These other posers up here with me, they may have forgotten about the sauce on the blue dress, but I, Ward Cleaver, have not. I am Mitt Romney, Mormon android and I will say whatever you program me to say. I will run on a platform of stopping illegal immigrants from having sex with Bill Clinton until the surge has succeeded.'" --Bill Maher

"On the Democratic side, that's where the real soap opera is. Not that the Clintons always bring the drama. The pundits are now saying that Bill Clinton is down there in South Carolina playing the bad cop, while the two strippers are dressed up as nurses. No, no. He's playing the bad cop because apparently the pundits say he has injected race into the campaign to let people know that Obama is the black candidate. You mean before that people hadn't noticed? Say Bob, is Barack Obama black? I don't know. Ask Phil, he follows politics." --Bill Maher

God does speak to you, and what he's saying is, 'Take a hint.'

Sources say the Obama administration is in the "final stages" of planning the closing of Guantanamo Bay. The way it’s gonna work is, they’re going to put a Radio Shack sign out front and let nature take its course. –Seth Meyers

On George W. Bush: ''You've performed so poor, I'm surprised you haven't given yourself a medal. You're a catastrophe that walks like a man. Herbert Hoover was a sh*tty president, but even he never conceded an entire metropolis to rising water and snakes. On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon, and the city of New Orleans. Maybe you're just not lucky. I'm not saying you don't love this country, I'm just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side. So yes, God does speak to you, and what he's saying is, 'Take a hint.''' —Bill Maher