If the measure passes the city could be solvent within 45 minutes (Look it up yourself, [bleep])

Today for International Women’s Day, women across the country protested by refusing to work. That’s a true story. That’s what happened today. In fact, earlier today Siri told me, “Look it up yourself, [bleep].” And then slapped me. –Conan O’Brien

"Today residents of L.A. are voting on a tax on anything sold in a medical marijuana dispensary. If the measure passes the city could be solvent within 45 minutes." –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Look it up yourself, [bleep]. (hard to spell)

For the second time, RadioShack has filed for bankruptcy. Experts say if RadioShack goes bankrupt one more time, it can officially run for president. –Conan O’Brien

Today for International Women’s Day, women across the country protested by refusing to work. That’s a true story. That’s what happened today. In fact, earlier today Siri told me, “Look it up yourself, [bleep].” And then slapped me. –Conan O’Brien

Hawaii is suing President Trump over his latest travel ban. In response, President Trump is suing Hawaii for “being hard to spell.” –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He wanted to know how often he should feed Siri? (What do we have to do?)

May 2013

"It's coming out that in high school, President Obama signed a girl's yearbook by calling her sweet and foxy. Of course, now he calls her Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano." –Conan O'Brien

"Pope Francis said that atheists are still eligible to go to heaven. To return the favor, atheists said Popes are still eligible to go into a void of nothingness." –Conan O'Brien

"A new international poll finds the least popular country in the world is Iran. After hearing this, North Korea said, 'What do we have to do?'" –Conan O'Brien

"During congressional hearings, Senator John McCain asked Apple CEO Tim Cook why the apps always need to be updated. McCain also wanted to know how often he should feed Siri." –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Siri knew so much she had to go into the witness protection program (Groucho Marxism)

Last year, the Washington Post reported that the government has seized more than 100 recordings that Michael Cohen made of his conversations with people discussing matters that could relate to Trump and his businesses, and with Trump himself talking. Cohen appeared to make some recordings with an iPhone. Wow. An iPhone. So, not only did Cohen flip on Trump, so did Siri. Siri knew so much she had to go into the witness protection program. --Seth Meyers

During the Congressional testimony of former Trump attorney Michael Cohen today, Republican representative Justin Amash asked Cohen, "What's the truth that you know President Trump fears most?" Said Cohen, "Probably that Grimace is actually just an actor inside of a costume." --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Stop trying to replace your father (The app is called Why?)

Apple is exploring ways to turn Siri into people's personal therapist. In fact, this morning when I asked Siri for today's weather she said, "Stop trying to replace your father." –Conan O’Brien

A new app lets people take selfies with virtual versions of "The Today Show" anchors. The app is called Why? –Conan O’Brien

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #FeeltheBern #repealreplacerepublicans

JOKES: The "Homerization" of American Voting

I want to take a moment to recognize and acknowledge International Women’s Day, which was marked today with a march on Washington, D.C., and a nationwide protest that was titled “A Day Without a Woman.” The idea was to show the world what it would be like without women. I’ll tell you something, I have some experience in this area. I went years without a woman. It was terrible, I don’t recommend it. –Jimmy Kimmel

I’ll admit I’m not exactly clear on what “A Day Without a Woman” is supposed to mean, exactly. Women make up half the population, of course a day without them is going to be a mess. It seems like that goes without saying, right? Does anyone — hold on a second. Let me find out here. [takes out iPhone] Siri, what is “A Day Without a Woman?” [Siri audio:] “I’m sorry, I don’t work for you today. Go [bleep] yourself.” –Jimmy Kimmel

For President Trump, every day is a day without a woman because his wife still lives in New York. At the White House, you know, a day without a woman is also called a Cabinet meeting. –Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

JOKES: Siri told me, “Look it up yourself, [bleep].” And then slapped me

Today for International Women’s Day, women across the country protested by refusing to work. That’s a true story. That’s what happened today. In fact, earlier today Siri told me, “Look it up yourself, [bleep].” And then slapped me. –Conan O’Brien

In honor of International Women’s Day, Snapchat added famous women to their selfie lenses. Snapchat called it the perfect way to honor the enduring contributions of women for 10 seconds. –Conan O’Brien

According to a recent poll, first lady Melania Trump’s approval rating has increased to 52 percent since President Trump’s inauguration. And her “feel sorry for her rating” is over 90 percent. –Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

JOKES: Even Siri was like, “Are you not a human being?” (blew up in his face)

This is already making a little bit of controversy. Jason Chaffetz says poor people need to choose between healthcare or a new iPhone. And just like a Samsung Galaxy 7, that comment blew up in his face. –James Corden

Did I hear him correctly? Is he saying health insurance costs the same as a phone? Hey Jason, a phone isn’t supposed to literally cost you an arm and a leg. His comment was cold. Even Siri was like, “Are you not a human being?” –James Corden

But the real problem is he’s talking to the American people like he’s talking to his own kids. “Well, maybe if you mowed lawns over the summer like I told you, you could afford that new kidney that you wanted.” –James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html