Reasons to trust the legacy media (a guy named Mad Dog is telling you to take it down a notch)

Disney announced that it’s featuring its first openly gay character in the upcoming live-action film “Beauty and the Beast.” Which explains why they’re changing the title of the movie to “Beauty and Her Longtime Roommate Janine.” –Conan O’Brien

In California, an experimental self-driving Uber car drove through six red lights. In other words, it just passed its Los Angeles driving test. –Conan O’Brien

Donald Trump is reportedly having multiple disagreements with his Defense Secretary pick, James "Mad Dog" Mattis. You know you’re in trouble when a guy named Mad Dog is telling you to take it down a notch. –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

In other words, it just passed its Los Angeles driving test (Borg cancels invasion)

In California, an experimental self-driving Uber car drove through six red lights. In other words, it just passed its Los Angeles driving test. –Conan O’Brien

In the U.K., a group of scientists successfully taught bumblebees how to play soccer. And now, they’re trying to get American bumblebees to watch it. –Conan O’Brien

Disney announced that it’s featuring its first openly gay character in the upcoming live-action film “Beauty and the Beast.” Which explains why they’re changing the title of the movie to “Beauty and Her Longtime Roommate Janine.” –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

We've tried nothing and we are all out of ideas (No, you're under arrest for being too sexy)

Trump just gave an interview where he appeared to confuse Kim Jong Un with his father, Kim Jong Il. It got worse when Trump was like, “Which one’s married to Kanye?” –Jimmy Fallon

James Comey is promoting his new book “A Higher Loyalty.” Trump is furious about it because it insults his leadership, and because it forced him to read a book. --Jimmy Fallon

And this isn't good. Down in Florida, a man pretending to be a police officer was arrested after he pulled over an actual undercover cop. It got worse when the fake cop tried to get out of it by pretending to be a stripper. He was like, "No, you're under arrest for being too sexy." --Jimmy Fallon

I'm very excited about this. There's another new episode of "Game of Thrones" this weekend. I read that the show set a record by using 4,000 gallons of fake blood. Even crazier, the previous record holder? "Golden Girls." -Really? --Jimmy Fallon

Trump is hosting Emmanuel Macron. Trump loves Macron because when he speaks English, Trump closes his eyes and pretends it's the candlestick from "Beauty and the Beast." --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Out of habit, after they dug the hole, Trump threw in his tax returns (Bush Defeats GOP)

French President Emmanuel Macron is visiting Trump in Washington. They planted a tree together. Out of habit, after they dug the hole, Trump threw in his tax returns. --Jimmy Fallon

Trump is hosting Emmanuel Macron. Trump loves Macron because when he speaks English, Trump closes his eyes and pretends it's the candlestick from "Beauty and the Beast." --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

JOKES: Melania Trump is calling it the feel-good movie of the year (weed in a cooler)

In Monroe, Washington, there’s a mystery to be solved. Someone made a very unique donation to the Goodwill store up there — a cooler containing five large bags of marijuana, weighing a total of 60 ounces. Almost four pounds, like $20,000 worth of pot, was left in; they assume it was left in there by mistake. What are the odds a pot smoker would forget he stashed weed in a cooler? –Jimmy Kimmel

The live action version of “Beauty and the Beast” opens tomorrow. It’s the story of a beautiful woman from a small village who falls for a selfish, disgusting monster who lives in a palace filled with gold. Melania Trump is calling it the feel-good movie of the year. –Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

JOKES: Trump's new plan bans some Muslims and all women who haven't been able to lose the baby weight

Russian officials said they may ban the new "Beauty and the Beast" movie because of its gay character. Then Vladimir Putin had to excuse himself for a shirtless photo shoot atop a stallion. –Conan O’Brien

Today, Donald Trump issued a new travel ban that is less restrictive than his first one. This one bans some Muslims and all women who haven't been able to lose the baby weight. –Conan O’Brien

On Saturday, pro-Trump rallies around the country were attended by hundreds. Or as Trump put it, "trillions." –Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

JOKES: Peyton Manning will throw the pizza at you from a speeding car

Papa John’s is testing a new system that lets customers pay $3 to skip the line and get faster pizza delivery. And for $6, Peyton Manning will throw the pizza at you from a speeding car. –Jimmy Fallon

Disney announced that it’s featuring its first openly gay character in the upcoming live-action film “Beauty and the Beast.” Which explains why they’re changing the title of the movie to “Beauty and Her Longtime Roommate Janine.” –Conan O’Brien

In California, an experimental self-driving Uber car drove through six red lights. In other words, it just passed its Los Angeles driving test. –Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html