You buy the Sarah Palin book, they will throw in a free Mayan calendar (ten more years of inexperience)

"Barnes and Noble is running a great promotion on the Sarah Palin book. You buy the Sarah Palin book, they will throw in a free Mayan calendar." –David Letterman

"A lot of people are saying that it's too soon for Sarah Palin to write a memoir. They say she should wait until she had at least ten more years of inexperience." –David Letterman

"Sarah Palin's book is now available on kindle, and, coincidentally, I'm using my copy as kindling." –David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

the media just won't leave her alone (In the Ground/Injured/Indifferent)

"Sarah Palin is everywhere right now. Have you noticed that? This week, Sarah Palin is going to appear on 'Oprah,' 'Good Morning America,' 'ABC World News,' 'Nightline,' 'Sean Hannity,' and '20/20.' During all her appearances, Palin will talk about how the media won't leave her alone." –Conan O'Brien

"Last week, an 11-year-old boy shot and killed a black bear that wouldn't leave his family's front porch. Right after that, Sarah Palin wanted to know if he would be her running mate for 2012." –Jimmy Fallon

"Liz Cheney said on Fox News that her father, former Vice President Dick Cheney, should run for president in 2012. In fact, that's apparently in the Mayan calendar too, you know. Cheney becomes president, and then the whole world ends. That's exactly what happens." –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”  

To give you an idea of how popular he is not... (All right, is he black enough for ya now?)

"To give you an idea of how popular he is not ... in South America, Bush is going to visit on Monday the sacred Mayan ruins, and after he leaves the Mayan priests are going to perform a purification ceremony ... to get rid of the bad spirits. And if it works there, they're going to try it in Iraq, New Orleans, Guantanamo Bay, Ground Zero and the atmosphere of the planet Earth." --Bill Maher

"While he was there, Bush did an interview with the Brazilian press and he said the most difficult decision a president could ever make is sending troops into harm's way. But enough about Walter Reed." --Bill Maher

"The Boston Globe is saying that Barack Obama owes $375 in parking tickets from when he was a student in the '80s at Harvard. And because he's running for president, he's going to pay them. All right, is he black enough for ya now?" --Bill Maher

"Newt Gingrich today came out ... and said that while he was leading the charge to impeach Clinton for having an extra-marital affair, he had an extra-marital affair. This, to me, is unbelievable. Somebody f**ked Newt Gingrich?" --Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Dressing up like a condor and using a sharpened stone to remove a living man's heart? Si. (you're the best adulterer we've got)

"Apparently, while Newt [Gingrich] was leading the Clinton impeachment over the Monica Lewinsky affair, he himself was having an extramarital affair. Now there's a huge cry from the left about Newt's so-called hypocrisy, but the former Speaker explains how that is actually a positive [on screen: Gingrich saying, 'I drew the line in my mind that said even though I run the risk of being deeply embarrassed, I have no choice but to move forward']. You see, it's very easy to condemn another man's dalliances when you're faithful to your own wife. But to be a hypocrite and still do it, that takes courage. So Newt, if you are running for president, you have my blessing ... because I still won't vote for a Mormon, and you're the best adulterer we've got." --Stephen Colbert

"In Guatemala, Mayan priests are set to perform an ancient cleansing ritual to rid the air of whatever Bush left behind. Mayan priests -- the ones who in the old days used to kill and eat the virgin's heart. So let's recap what the Mayan priest basically is saying: Dressing up like a condor and using a sharpened stone to remove a living man's heart? Si. Protective corn tariffs? Unclean." --Jon Stewart

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

And today, Israel announced he is their new ambassador to Ireland (a special kind of Stupid)

"President Bush visited a Mayan temple this weekend in Guatemala, and afterwards ... Mayan leaders performed a cleansing ceremony to clear Bush's bad energy. When he heard this, Bush got upset and said, 'Oh yeah? He who smelt it, dealt it.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Israel has recalled its ambassador to El Salvador after the ambassador was found drunk and naked in the yard of his residence. And today, Israel announced he is their new ambassador to Ireland." --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

President Trump forgets words to God Bless America (We will get the evil-doers who did this)

"President Bush was in Mexico today and he met with Mexican President Calderon to talk about immigration issues. Unfortunately, things were cut short when during the meeting, President Calderon immigrated to California." --Conan O'Brien

"While in Mexico, President Bush visited the ruins of an ancient Mayan city. There was an awkward moment when Bush said, 'We will get the evil-doers who did this.'" --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

If you want to get rid of an attorney... (All the President's Mentors)

"If you want to get rid of an attorney, you don't use Gonzales, you bring in Dick Cheney." --Jay Leno

"Huge controversy at the Pentagon. General Peter Pace, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, has publicly stated that homosexual acts are immoral, and so is adultery. Homosexual acts and whoring around are immoral? He just offended every member of Congress right there." --Jay Leno

"While in Latin America, President Bush visited the ancient Mayan ruins. He then invited their officials to come visit our ruins -- the Walter Reed Medical Center." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

down on his knees/Cocoon/Mayan Fake News

"During tonight's debate, sources from Barack Obama's campaign say Obama is going to try to get John McCain to lose his temper. That's true. Obama is going to do this by claiming that the movie 'Cocoon' was overrated." --Conan O'Brien

"Now the treasury secretary at this moment, trying very hard to get the bailout plan passed. He wants to get that passed. Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson is so desperate to get his bailout plan passed that yesterday -- this is true -- he got down on his knees in front of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. He did that, yeah. And apparently, Paulson wants the plan to pass so badly, he also offered to get down on his knees in front of Barney Frank." --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #repealreplacerepublicans #FeeltheBern #Bernie2020 @BrandNew535 @justicedems 

The bad news: a head of lettuce will now cost $300 (white people)

"President Bush is in Mexico this week and while he's there, he's going to visit the ancient Mayan ruins. Apparently, Bush is trying to learn from his mistakes because today he promised that FEMA will help the Mayans rebuild." --Conan O'Brien

"The good news is that Congress is cracking down on illegal immigration. The bad news: a head of lettuce will now cost $300." --Jay Leno

"This problem with illegal immigration is nothing new. In fact, the Indians had a special name for it. They called it 'white people.'" --Jay Leno

Bush is going to put out that old 'Mission Accomplished' banner (April Fool!)

"Saturday is April Fool's Day and President Bush has a great April Fool's joke planned. He's going to put out that old 'Mission Accomplished' banner." --David Letterman

"Tomorrow is April Fool's Day or as a lot of people are calling it – President Bush’s Day." --Jay Leno

"One embarrassing moment was when President Bush was sightseeing and they took him to see the ancient Mayan ruins. When saw them, he turned to the president of Mexico and said, 'We'll get the scum that did this.'" --Jay Leno