It's like Groundhog Day for A**holes (I always buy store-brand ketchup)

July 2012

"In a new interview, Mitt Romney said he doesn't know where his financial records are because he doesn't manage them. Yeah, he would have said more, but he had to give a speech on why he's the perfect guy to fix the economy." –Jimmy Fallon

"Barney Frank became the first congressman to enter a same-sex marriage. As opposed to most congressmen, who prefer to just enter someone else's marriage." –Jimmy Fallon

"The White House is telling Americans not to 'read too much' into Friday's bad jobs report. Or as Americans put it, 'You had me at 'don't read too much.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Mitt Romney is worth $250 million. I saw him interviewed and they said, 'Mitt, how did you get so much money?" He said, "You know what? I always buy store-brand ketchup.'" –David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

it was almost as embarrassing as the time he was dunked on by Barney Frank (Broken Systems)

"President Obama was elbowed during a basketball game and had to receive 12 stitches. Obama said it was almost as embarrassing as the time he was dunked on by Barney Frank." –Conan O'Brien

"In a recent interview, Sarah Palin said we have to stand with 'our North Korean allies.' When told that North Korea is not our ally, Palin said, 'Sorry, I meant East Korean allies.'" –Conan O'Brien 

"Yesterday a woman wore a bikini to LAX airport hoping to avoid the patdown. She is still being patted down." –Conan O'Brien

"Time Warner Cable is testing a premium service that sets a specific time for the installer to arrive. The two times available are winter and spring." –Conan O'Brien

"Monday was a big online shopping day called 'Cyber Monday.' Immediately followed by 'Identity Theft Tuesday.'" –Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Worry, Nation/Wow, you do have a wide stance (Really?!?, pt. 2)

    

"[To Senator Larry Craig] I'm not creeped out that you tried to have gay sex in an airport bathroom, I'm creeped out that you tried to have any sex in an airport bathroom. I don't even like going to the bathroom in an airport bathroom. I mean, really?! In 1989, you pushed for severe punishment for Barney Frank for his involvement in a gay prostitution scandal. Really?! I mean, at least he paid for it! So, now you're a Republican who likes dudes, but hates capitalism? Really?! So, in conclusion, you're gay, but a married Republican; you're going to vote for anti-gay legislation, but you solicit gay sex in an airport bathroom. Wow, you do have a wide stance." --Amy Poehler

    

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #FeeltheBern #repealreplacerepublicans

down on his knees/Cocoon/Mayan Fake News

"During tonight's debate, sources from Barack Obama's campaign say Obama is going to try to get John McCain to lose his temper. That's true. Obama is going to do this by claiming that the movie 'Cocoon' was overrated." --Conan O'Brien

"Now the treasury secretary at this moment, trying very hard to get the bailout plan passed. He wants to get that passed. Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson is so desperate to get his bailout plan passed that yesterday -- this is true -- he got down on his knees in front of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. He did that, yeah. And apparently, Paulson wants the plan to pass so badly, he also offered to get down on his knees in front of Barney Frank." --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #repealreplacerepublicans #FeeltheBern #Bernie2020 @BrandNew535 @justicedems 

Romney would fight for all millionaires, black or white

"Barney Frank became the first congressman to enter a same-sex marriage. As opposed to most congressmen, who prefer to just enter someone else's marriage." –Jimmy Fallon

"Mitt Romney told the crowd at an NAACP conference that if he were elected president he would fight for all millionaires, black or white." –Jay Leno 

"In Mexico, the loser of their presidential election is accusing the winner of election fraud. He says the winner bought millions of votes. To which Mitt Romney said, 'You can do that?'" –Jay Leno 

John Hulse painting

On the bright side, he did surprise his wife for Valentines Day

"I got to give it up to him. He does look really buff in that picture. In fact, after he resigned he got a call from Barney Frank begging him to stay." –Bill Maher

 

"Republican Representative Chris Lee was forced to resign after sending a shirtless picture of himself to a woman on Craigslist. On the bright side, he did surprise his wife for Valentines Day." –Conan O'Brien 



"This is the start of New York's Fashion Week. I just talked with N.Y. Congressman Chris Lee, and the told me shirts are totally out this season. He was married and looking for dates on Craigslist by sending shirtless photos of himself. He listed his marital status as divorced. But in fairness, he's about to be." –Jimmy Fallon