If it weren’t my dinner, perhaps I’d be dating it (and I don’t want to eat the troops)

When Trump saw the Thanksgiving turkeys he said, “I’ve never seen such a beautiful turkey. Yes, it’s so beautiful. If it weren’t my dinner, perhaps I’d be dating it.” --Stephen Colbert

Donald Trump also took a shot at Arizona Sen. Jeff Flake. Flake was caught on camera dissing his own party, saying, “If we become the party of Roy Moore and Donald Trump, we are toast.” Sen. Flake, that’s a little too hard on toast. –Stephen Colbert

Trump was asked why he hasn’t visited our troops serving in war zones in Iraq and Afghanistan in the two years he’s been in office. “There are things that are planned but I can’t talk about them, because I don’t know what they are. And when they try and explain them to me I get bored. And when I’m bored, I get angry. And when I get angry, I get hungry. And when I’m hungry, everybody I look at begins to look like a chicken, and I don’t want to eat the troops.” --Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I don’t know, Stalin had much thicker hair (inspiring dictators around the world)

Jeff Flake, the Republican senator from Arizona, gave a blistering speech from the floor of the Senate, condemning Trump’s attacks on the press and comparing the president to Stalin. I don’t know, Stalin had much thicker hair. That feels unfair to me. --Jimmy Kimmel

Flake didn’t hold back. He called the president reprehensible and accused him of inspiring dictators around the world — and then continued voting right along with him on every major issue. It’s what they call “flake news.” --Jimmy Kimmel

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

She just needs one more to make it over the fence (sternly worded signs)

Sen. Jeff Flake said today that President Trump’s proposed border wall doesn’t need to be a wall, but more of a fence. They’ll even settle for a net or a sternly worded sign, parking cones, and if they still can’t afford it, just get some old guy who yells, “Get! Get outta here!” --Seth Meyers

According to NBC News, former White House chief strategist Steve Bannon has hired a lawyer to help him prepare to testify before the House Intelligence Committee. I’d say Bannon is starting to sweat, but I’m pretty sure he never stopped. --Seth Meyers

First lady Melania Trump has added three new people to her personal White House staff. She just needs one more to make it over the fence. --Seth Meyers

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

easily the most scandalous thing to happen in a mall that didn’t involve Roy Moore (Thank you, me)

You might remember that while he was in China, Trump asked China’s President Xi Jinping to release three UCLA players who had been arrested for shoplifting from a Chinese mall — easily the most scandalous thing to happen in a mall that didn’t involve Roy Moore. –Stephen Colbert

Trump couldn’t resist tweeting, “Do you think the three UCLA basketball players will say thank you President Trump?” Imagine Thanksgiving at the Trump house: “Let’s go around the table and all say what we’re thankful to me for. I’ll start. Thank you, me.” –Stephen Colbert

Trump also took a shot at Arizona Sen. Jeff Flake. Flake was caught on camera dissing his own party, saying, “If we become the party of Roy Moore and Donald Trump, we are toast.” Sen. Flake, that’s a little too hard on toast. –Stephen Colbert

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Jeff Flake said bad things about Rutherford B. Hayes? (let’s not talk about leaving people in jail)

Trump of course shot back on Twitter, saying, “Sen. Jeff Flake(y), who is unelectable in the great state of Arizona, was caught (purposely) on ‘mike’ saying bad things about your favorite president.” Favorite president? Jeff Flake said bad things about Rutherford B. Hayes? –James Corden

Trump also attacked a man named LaVar Ball, the father of one of the UCLA basketball players arrested for shoplifting in China. After Ball failed to recognize Trump’s role in his son’s release, Trump tweeted, “[He] is unaccepting of what I did for his son. I should have left them in jail!” And there he is — America’s favorite president, ladies and gentlemen! I should have left them in jail!” At which point, Paul Manafort and the rest of Trump’s campaign staff were like, “Hahaha! OK, let’s not talk about leaving people in jail.” –James Corden

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Why does everyone keep associating us with Pope Francis? (Oh no, that’s right — it doesn’t exist)

I’m surprised Donald Trump could even see Marshawn Lynch sitting down in Mexico, through that big border wall he built. Oh no, that’s right — it doesn’t exist. –James Corden

Infighting continues within the Republican Party. On Saturday, Arizona Sen. Jeff Flake was caught on mic when he made a remark, saying, “If we become the party of Roy Moore and Donald Trump, we are toast.” If? If you become the party of Donald Trump? He’s the president of the United States! That’s like the Catholic Church going, “Why does everyone keep associating us with Pope Francis? –James Corden

    

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

He said bad things about Obama? (until this whole thing blows over)

This weekend Trump sent a tweet where he criticized Senator Jeff Flake for saying bad things about, quote, “your favorite president.” People were like, “He said bad things about Obama?” –Jimmy Fallon

Al Franken said that he isn’t resigning, but will spend the next few days reflecting. Reflecting is a political term meaning “hope someone else gets busted and this whole thing blows over.” –Jimmy Fallon

    

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Go to your safe space and think tax cuts (friendship orgy)

A lot of people have been talking about the fact that three Republican senators — Flake, McCain and Corker — have called Donald Trump unfit for office. Sure, scientists, psychiatrists, human rights activists and world and religious leaders have also said it. But, eventually, Republicans did as well. They’re late to everything. They just found out about “Gangnam Style.” –Stephen Colbert

But Trump claimed everybody got along great at yesterday’s big Republican unity lunch: [clip of Trump] “I think we had a — I called it a ‘love fest.’ It was almost a love fest. Maybe it WAS a love fest.” Maybe it was a love fest, could have been a friendship orgy, we’re still checking. –Stephen Colbert

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Dodger Dogs/multiple standing ovations/Vietnam

For those who are visiting us, welcome to Los Angeles — home of the Dodgers who are in the World Series tonight. The Dodgers and the Houston Astros. Dodgers won the first game last night. It was the hottest World Series game ever, 103 degrees. I was at the game. They didn’t have to cook the Dodger Dogs, that’s how hot it was. –Jimmy Kimmel

President Trump has been feuding with a couple of senators from his own party — Jeff Flake of Arizona and Bob Corker of Tennessee are on his list right now. The president decided to tweet about this today. He said there are NO problems in the GOP; in fact, they love him so much they cannot sit down when he walks in a room, “multiple standing ovations.” Who wants to be the one who tell him that people are required to stand when the president enters the room? That’s not an accomplishment. That’s like saying, “Every time I walk into a Starbucks, guy behind the counter asks me if I want coffee.” –Jimmy Kimmel

     

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

That is a sin. Repent! (standing O)

Then Trump continued the argument after Jeff Flake said he had a lot of support in the Senate. Trump tweeted, “Really, they just gave me a standing O.” To which Mike Pence said, “That is a sin. Repent.” –James Corden

Why is Donald Trump so proud of getting a standing ovation? Standing ovations aren’t sincere. They are just something that people feel obligated to do. I’m saying this as someone who gets a standing ovation every night. –James Corden

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

a bunch of 70-year-old senators having an orgy (The Cosby effect)

In the past week, several prominent men have been fired for sexual harassment and it’s being called “The Harvey Effect.” Of course, none of them will see any jail time and that’s being called “The Cosby Effect.” –Conan O’Brien

Donald Trump has recently been feuding with Republican Senators Jeff Flake and Bob Corker after Senator Flake gave an impassioned speech against Trump. The president struck back today, tweeting, “The meeting with Republican senators yesterday outside of Flake and Corker was a love fest with standing ovations and great ideas for U.S.A.” A love fest. Yeah, ’cuz nothing gets the American people excited like visualizing a bunch of 70-year-old senators having an orgy. –James Corden

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Do you hate liberals? (Vote for me and i'll ruin your life)

In his speech Sen. Jeff Flake gave about Trump yesterday, he criticized Trump for 20 minutes without mentioning him by name. But I think people knew who he meant when he kept referring to “Tweety McTweetface.” –Jimmy Fallon

And Trump was tweeting again today. He said that his big meeting with Republican senators was “a love fest” with multiple standing ovations. They were mostly getting up to leave — but still, that counts as a standing ovation. –Jimmy Fallon

      

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Today, God refused to comment; instead, she just laughed (Comforter in Chief)

Republican Sen. Jeff Flake announced he that he will not seek re-election, and said the GOP was headed in the wrong direction. Or, as Trump called it, “Flake news!” –Jimmy Fallon

Bill O’Reilly revealed that he is mad at God for putting him through his sexual harassment scandal. Today, God refused to comment; instead, she just laughed. –Conan O’Brien

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans