They're doing it (No word on what the winner gets)

Jeb Bush’s campaign has a contest now where someone will be flown to Houston to meet him, his dad, and his brother. No word on what the winner gets. –Conan O’Brien

"NASA recently announced they have a photograph from the Hubble Telescope that shows two galaxies colliding. Then they took a closer look and said, 'Wait a second. Those galaxies aren't colliding. They're doing it.'" --Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I was shocked, and so was my son, "Rodrigo Garcia." (Alibis)

A new study claims 1 in 50 men is unwittingly raising someone else’s child. I was shocked, and so was my son, "Rodrigo Garcia." –Conan O’Brien

This weekend, Bill Clinton tweeted that he was in Houston visiting Former President George H.W. Bush. However, he ended the tweet with #Alibi. –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Oh, hell, where did I leave that baby? (Siri is now asking to be addressed as Steve)

A store in Houston is selling Donald Trump piñatas filled with candy. So finally something good is going to come out of Donald Trump. —Conan O’Brien

iPhone users are reporting that Siri will correct them if they try to say Bruce Jenner instead of Caitlyn. In a related story, Siri is now asking to be addressed as Steve. —Conan O’Brien

"This is weird. In a recent interview, Levi Johnston said that Sarah Palin could never handle the responsibility of being president. Then he said, 'Oh, hell, where did I leave that baby?'" --Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

3% of U.S. military spending could end starvation on earth (However, he ended the tweet with #Alibi)

A new exhibit shows eight of the alternate endings Ernest Hemingway considered using for his classic novel "A Farewell to Arms." In my opinion the worst is the one that ends with "see ya later, arms!" –Conan O’Brien

This weekend, Bill Clinton tweeted that he was in Houston visiting Former President George H.W. Bush. However, he ended the tweet with #Alibi. –Conan O’Brien

Because of the sexual allegations against him, it’s rumored that Bill O’Reilly’s show may be going off the air. For continuity’s sake, Fox will replace it with reruns of "The Cosby Show." –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Donald, before you pop out of your bunker (couldn’t you just rethink the plan?)

“Here’s a question for you — couldn’t you just not do that? Of all the cities on all the days, couldn’t you just hold it in Houston on Arbor Day or in Boise on Flag Day? Also, timing — Donald, we’re in the middle of a pandemic. Couldn’t you just wait before you say it and spray it all over Oklahoma? And I know you refuse to issue social-distancing guidelines for your rally, but hey, if it’s like some of your past gatherings, couldn’t you just admit crowding might not be a problem? So look, Donald, before you pop out of your bunker for Cough-a-palooza, couldn’t you just rethink the plan?” —Jimmy Fallon

“Big crowds are expected, even welcomed. But anyone who gets a ticket has to agree in writing not to sue Trump if they get sick. For real, you have to click this liability release to register to go. It’s like being pregnant on a roller coaster. But go ahead and take a big swig of bleach before you come anyway.” —Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

a heroic contemplation of the possibility of leadership (I’m thinking about having a dream)

“Meanwhile, Donald Trump’s approval rating has dropped to 38%, according to the latest CNN poll, and the president is ‘desperate to turn things around’, to the point where he’s reportedly considered delivering a speech to the nation on race and unity. Yes, they’re considering it – a heroic contemplation of the possibility of leadership. It reminds me of Dr King’s immortal words: ‘I’m thinking about having a dream.’” —Stephen Colbert

“While Trump contemplated, Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden spoke up, delivering a moving virtual eulogy for George Floyd at a memorial service in Houston on Tuesday. You see, President Trump? It’s possible to bring people to tears at church without having to release pepper spray. And the Vice-President did the one thing that the President fears the most: Biden didn’t mention the name Donald Trump once. Let’s hope very soon, we can all do the same.” —Stephen Colbert

“It makes sense that Trump doesn’t get it. He’s like a lot of soft-brained 73-year-old men who watch nothing but Fox News. Tucker Carlson is arguing on Fox News that America is ‘not a racist country.’ Right, but didn’t you want to build a wall to keep those immigrants out of … oh, nevermind. He’s right! America’s fine, we have no problems at all. Those people marching in the streets? They’re just getting exercise.” —Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I was a different person then (Great. Smoking it is)

It just came out that next month President Trump and Vladimir Putin are planning to meet in Paris. Putin says he looks forward to discussing nuclear weapons while Trump said, "OMG! I think he's gonna propose." --Jimmy Fallon

That's right, the midterms are coming up, and last night, Trump held a rally in Houston. He said it was so crowded that 50,000 people outside couldn't get in, but the Houston police said that there were only 3,000. Then Trump said, "Fine. We'll call it an even 70,000. --Jimmy Fallon

I heard about a new study that found that not working out is even worse for your health than smoking. When they heard that, Americans were like, "Great. Smoking it is." --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Are you saying the Trix Rabbit never actually flew to Mars? (unsung success)

Today President Trump gave a briefing about the government's plan for Hurricane Florence. Sensing the seriousness of the occasion, Trump respectfully didn't make the whole thing about himself — for almost a minute. Then he reminded everybody what a great job he did with the last hurricane: [Trump clip] "I think that Puerto Rico was an incredible, unsung success." He's right. It was definitely unsung. Maybe because no one could plug in their mics because it took 11 months to restore power. --Stephen Colbert

NASA's administrator has directed the space agency to look at boosting its brand by selling naming rights to rockets and spacecraft. Look, I love space travel. I get that NASA needs cash, but I think corporate sponsorship might have changed the moon landing. [Video of moon landing with voiceover] "That's one small step for man, one comfortable leap thanks to Dr. Scholl's Insoles. Houston, I'm gellin'." --Stephen Colbert

It's not just rockets. This new proposal would allow astronauts to appear in commercials and on cereal boxes. Wait, are you telling me that up till now astronauts weren't allowed to appear in commercials or on cereal boxes before? Are you saying the Trix Rabbit never actually flew to Mars? --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”  

I'm glad he's not at this funeral. He'd ruin the mood (Now, everyone smile and say, 'He's not coming!')

This weekend, family, friends, and dignitaries gathered in Houston to celebrate former first lady Barbara Bush, who passed away at 92. It was a beautiful ceremony befitting of the wonderful life that she lived. And at the gathering, there was a rare group photo featuring the Bush family, the Clintons, the Obamas, and Melania Trump. The photographer was like, "Now, everyone smile and say, 'He's not coming!'" --James Corden

President Trump did not attend the funeral. The White House said they didn't want him to be a distraction. Only Donald Trump could make people say, "I'm glad he's not at this funeral. He'd ruin the mood." --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

The O'Reilly Factor has lost 2/3 of its advertisers in one week (#Alibi)

Because of the scandals, "The O'Reilly Factor" has lost 2/3 of its advertisers in one week. On the bright side, United Airlines is still with him! –Conan O’Brien

This weekend, Bill Clinton tweeted that he was in Houston visiting Former President George H.W. Bush. However, he ended the tweet with #Alibi. –Conan O’Brien

That video of the doctor being dragged off the plane and then the airline's response to it has turned into an absolute nightmare from a PR standpoint. Even Pepsi was like, I wouldn't want to be you guys this week. –Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JusticeDemocrats #Bernie2020