I was a little disappointed to see that the only time my name appears in the magazine is on the address label (Yard sign)

“Some have criticized the police for pepper spraying a pregnant woman, but don’t forget, the cops were spraying for two.” –Stephen Colbert

It's late November, the weather's getting crisp, and that can only mean one thing: It's time for People magazine's "sexiest man alive" issue. It's got David Beckham on the cover. Spoiler alert — he's sexy. I was a little disappointed to see that the only time my name appears in the magazine is on the address label. –Stephen Colbert

Of course, Hillary also had her moments. Here’s what she said about her tax plans: “We are going to go where the money is.” And she knows where the money is. It’s where she gives her speeches. –Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I can’t even walk down nine flights of stairs without a spotter (You know how long it takes a working man to save $5000?)

It's late November, the weather's getting crisp, and that can only mean one thing: It's time for People magazine's "sexiest man alive" issue. It's got David Beckham on the cover. Spoiler alert — he's sexy. I was a little disappointed to see that the only time my name appears in the magazine is on the address label. –Stephen Colbert

"I’d like to single out some heroes, like the nurses at NYU hospital. After the hospital generators failed, these nurses carried 20 newborns down nine flights of stairs while manually operating respirators. I can’t even walk down nine flights of stairs without a spotter." –Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Don’t tell me how it ends. I’m only on Season 3. (more popular than ever)

September 2022

I know why you’re happy. You’re not in line to see a dead body. Jesus, watching the Queen’s funeral, but don’t tell me how it ends. I’m only on Season 3. —Bill Maher

Can we please get this lady buried? I’ve thrown out bread twice since she died. —Bill Maher

They take this Queen stuff seriously over there. Did you see that David Beckham stood in line for 13 hours? They asked him how he could do something so long and boring and he said, ‘I play soccer.’ —Bill Maher

But we had a death in this country too. Ken Starr passed away. He was the man who prosecuted Bill Clinton over his affair with Monica Lewinsky. But the jokes on him, because now that Roe versus Wade has been overturned blow jobs are more popular than ever. —Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

it’s one of the best statues of Gary Busey I’ve ever seen

This bill has been passed by the House and the Senate and will now go to Trump for signing. And Trump says he is going to sign it, because remember, privacy only matters when we are talking about his tax returns. –James Corden

In Portugal, where an airport was renamed in his honor, world-famous soccer player Cristiano Ronaldo was presented with a statue of himself. Sort of. See if you think this statue looks like him [shows photo of hideous statue and handsome Ronaldo]. It’s terrible! It looks like his face was bended like Beckham. Just because it’s a soccer player doesn’t mean that you have to actually sculpt the statue with your feet. –James Corden

It’s one of the worst statues of Ronaldo ever. But on the bright side, it’s one of the best statues of Gary Busey I’ve ever seen. –James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Which button would I use to launch a nuclear strike against Alec Baldwin?

This weekend is SantaCon, which is the annual bar crawl where people dress up like Santa Claus for a day of drinking. That’s right, a drunken bar crawl wearing a Santa suit, or as the real Santa calls that —December 26. –Jimmy Fallon

A growing trend among families is giving their kids a few small presents ahead of Christmas to break up the tension of getting everything on Christmas Day. They actually have an interesting name for this — Hanukkah. –Jimmy Fallon

I heard that putting cinnamon and nutmeg into your baked goods for the holidays can actually reduce stress. Then certain other people were like, “I know something else you can put in your baked goods. Marijuana, dude!” –Jimmy Fallon

David and Victoria Beckham’s 11-year-old son Cruz just released his first single, called “If Every Day Was Christmas.” I’m pretty sure if you’re the son of David and Victoria Beckham, every day is Christmas. “I have my own butler and I’m quite good looking. Merry Christmas. I own a stadium.” I can’t relate to that song. –Jimmy Fallon

Turns out, they contain a very dangerous substance called “SpaghettiOs.”

Campbell’s is recalling over 300,000 cans of SpaghettiOs. Turns out, they contain a very dangerous substance called “SpaghettiOs.” –Conan O’Brien

It's late November, the weather's getting crisp, and that can only mean one thing: It's time for People magazine's "sexiest man alive" issue. It's got David Beckham on the cover. Spoiler alert — he's sexy. I was a little disappointed to see that the only time my name appears in the magazine is on the address label. –Stephen Colbert