The good news — we have six more weeks! (They’ll cut off our supply of Uggs, koala jerky, and Hugh Jackman)

Happy Groundhog Day! I don’t know if you saw the late-breaking news, but today America’s foremost psychic rodent, Punxsutawney Phil, came out of his hole and indeed saw his shadow. So the bad news is six more weeks of winter. The good news — we have six more weeks! –Stephen Colbert

On Saturday, President Trump spoke with Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull and lashed out at Turnbull on the phone call. Please don’t pick a fight with Australia! They’ll cut off our supply of Uggs, koala jerky, and Hugh Jackman. –Stephen Colbert

We’re just 10 days in and it feels like it’s total chaos at the White House. This is supposed to be the honeymoon. How could Trump blow the honeymoon? He’s had three of them. –Stephen Colbert

“A source close to ex-president Trump described his lawyers quitting as a ‘mutual decision.’ Oh, totally mutual! ‘No, Carol did not divorce me — we divorced me. We also agreed that the lawn was the perfect place for all my shirts.’” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

That money will now be used to make sure the cameras outside his jail cell aren’t working (Which is perfect because they already have the flags)

December 2022

Sam Bankman-Fried was arrested on fraud charges in the Bahamas. Prosecutors allege that Bankman-Fried took funds from FTX customers to make large political donations. That money will now be used to make sure the cameras outside his jail cell aren’t working. —Michael Che

Georgia representative, Marjorie Taylor Greene, who let’s face it, is absolutely my type, complained that people can by butt plugs at Target and that they melt and are shaped like Santa. —Michael Che

Republican insiders are concerned that a rivalry between Donald Trump and Ron DeSantis could lead to a civil war within the party. Which is perfect because they already have the flags. —Michael Che

A man who made aviation history by parachuting out of a hot air ballon 20 miles above the earth has died at the age of 94 when he finally hit the ground. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”