"Speaking of doing
stupid things, guess who we elected president? President Bush. He's been hard
at work trying to make it illegal for gay people to get married lately. It's a
suspicious move for an ex-male cheerleader I have to say. He's got this bill
that will define marriage between one man and one woman and possibly one other
woman they meet in a hotel bar on a business trip. The president is also
focused now on border security, especially gay border security." --Jimmy
Kimmel
"Congressman Patrick
Kennedy left rehab and returned to Rhode Island. Unfortunately, on his way back
he hit Massachusetts, Connecticut and New Hampshire." --Conan O'Brien
"According to Life
and Style Weekly, Britney Spears's marriage to Kevin Federline has basically
turned into a business deal. They said he pretends to be a good husband and not
embarrass her in public and then he can go out on weekends and do whatever he
wants. I'm sorry, that's Bill and Hillary's deal." --Jay Leno
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