extremely careless but not enough to be charged with a crime (slogan needs work)

I want to thank everyone for taking a break from Pokémon to tune in tonight. It's just everywhere. In fact it's been reported now that Pokémon is getting ready to launch in Russia, and President Vladimir Putin looks like he's already having a good time with it, “Tell me where your friends are Pikachu.” –Jimmy Fallon

Meanwhile, Donald Trump said yesterday that he has not played Pokémon, but wishes he had ther time to try it out. Meanwhile, Jeb Bush is walking around his neighborhood in Bergen stocks going, “I just got to level 20!” –Jimmy Fallon

Yesterday members of Congress left Washington for a seven-week vacation. Even the Kardashians are like, “From what?” –Jimmy Fallon

A 94-year-old man from Indiana just became the oldest person to get a six degree black belt in taekwondo. While nobody has the heart to tell him the wooden board he chopped through was just a graham cracker. –Jimmy Fallon