"We're still on the
road to World War III. Things were looking a little grim last week -- all those
countries pressuring us to call for an immediate cease-fire, but we stayed
strong. Sure, we sent over Condi Rice to negotiate, but she's not there for
cease-fire. No, she's there for 'sustainable cease-fire,' which considering the
Middle East, is like sending her to bring back Jimmy Hoffa on a unicorn."
--Stephen Colbert
"This kind of thing
usually happens once or twice a summer down in Washington. Yesterday, a guy
hopped the fence at the White House. Pretty scary. Thank god at the last minute
Dick Cheney picked him off. And then, today, another guy was arrested for
trying to climb Condoleezza Rice." --David Letterman
"This is a weird
story. President Bush has apologized today for scolding a member of the White
House press corps for wearing sunglasses because he found out the reporter is
legally blind. Bush also apologized for telling physicist Stephen Hawking 'to
get off your lazy a--.'" --Conan O'Brien
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