So either he's very fast or very gay (Rocket Man)

"In an interview, Secretary of State  Condoleezza Rice said that one of her all-time favorite songs is 'Rocket Man' by Elton John.  She said the song reminds of her first boyfriend in college. 'Rocket Man'? So either he's very fast or very gay." --Jay Leno

"Bill Clinton is writing another book. The first one was an enormous book and it was his life story. This next one is going to be a fascinating book. In the book, Clinton describes one time when an intern held her breathe for nine minutes." --David Letterman

"Bush met with the prime minister of Australia at the White House the other day. The Australian prime minister asked President Bush, 'When was the last time you were down under?' Bush said, 'Oh, you must be thinking of the other president, President Clinton.'" --Jay Leno