if Hillary doesn't win it's still going to look great on her resume (Squirtle Defense)

Legal experts are saying it’s only a matter of time before someone uses Pokémon Go as an excuse for committing a crime. At least then we’ll get to hear the first lawyer ever to use the "Squirtle Defense." –Conan O’Brien

Hillary Clinton became the first woman to be nominated by a major party in the United States, which even if she doesn't win is going to look great on her resume. –Jimmy Kimmel

Bill Clinton spoke tonight. He was the major speaker of the evening. Of course he strongly supported his wife to be our next president. In a surprise move asked Melania Trump to be his first lady. –Jimmy Kimmel