"Every time the
president comes up with a new secret tactic to down al Qaeda, the media blows
its cover: torture, monitoring our phone calls, monitoring our e-mails, secret
prisons. All perfectly reasonable temporary concessions of freedom that will
only be in effect as long as our never-ending war on terror. Well last week,
the New York Times did it again folks. Now, I don't want to give to much
information away on what they revealed, because a large percentage of my
audience is terrorists." --Stephen Colbert
"Earlier today
President Bush took Japanese Prime Minister Koizumi to Graceland. The prime
minister is a huge Elvis fan. There was one embarrassing moment when President
Bush made the Japanese prime minister promise that when he visits Japan, he
will take him to the Godzilla museum." --Jay Leno
"President Bush is
sending troops to the Mexican border. He's going to have them look for tequila
of mass destruction." --David Letterman
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