He's got the war. He's got other wars he's planning (walls on BIG borders)

"It's all part of this immigration reform bill that they're working on to help us forget how much we don't like them in Congress. President Bush was in Arizona checking out plans for this new fence he's building. They really should let him actually build the fence. Give him a shovel. I think he'd be good at that. But, he's a busy man, the president. He's juggling immigration and tax cuts. He's listening into our phone calls. He's got the war. He's got other wars he's planning." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Immigration is the big issue right now. Earlier today, the Senate voted to build a 370-mile fence along the Mexican border. Experts say a 370-mile fence is the perfect way to protect a border that is 1,900 miles long." --Conan O'Brien

"Attorney General Alberto Gonzales says he's not sure if his grandparents entered the United States legally. As a result, President Bush has sent the entire Gonzales family back to Ireland." --Conan O'Brien