extremely careless leadership for america (charged with two counts of deserving each other)

The Juno satellite probe which hasn’t been heard from in five years and has been traveling through deep space finally reached Jupiter yesterday and reestablished contact with Earth. The Jupiter satellite’s first message was, "The Republican Nominee is WHO?" –Conan O’Brien

Although Hillary Clinton was cleared of charges in the investigation of her deleted emails, her actions were described by the FBI as "extremely reckless." However in her defense, the report pointed out that she was Hillary reckless, not Bill reckless. –Conan O’Brien

A couple in North Carolina was arrested for attacking each other with pizza rolls. They’ve been charged with two counts of "Deserving each other." –Conan O’Brien