"Here's the latest
deal on the Hurricane Katrina/FEMA situation. FEMA's relief funds, $1.2
billion, were spent on things like a divorce, a sex change. Does this make you
angry? Are you angry because you had to pay for your own divorce and your own
sex change?" --David Letterman
"Enron's president,
Ken Lay, passed away last week. So I guess even God lost money on that Enron
deal. I believe the official cause of death was listed as 'karma.' The family
asked in lieu of flowers, please send some elderly retiree's entire life
savings." --Jay Leno
"President Bush has
proposed sweeping immigration changes, which is pretty amazing when you
consider before he became president, Bush thought immigration was the sincerest
form of flattery." --Jay Leno
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