"Californians
selected state Treasurer Phil Angelides as their the candidate for the upcoming
gubernatorial election, setting up a much anticipated Schwarzenegger/Angelides
contest in November. Incidentally, Schwarzenegger Angelides is my porn
name." --Jon Stewart
"Those of you
following the Iraq war on television know that it has been pre-empted by the
summer action-packed replacement series, 'Lebanon.' It's new. It's scary, but
it's important for everyone to remain calm and keep the situation in
perspective [on screen: various politicians calling the situation World War
III]. So rest of the news media, stop calling it a 'regional conflict' or a
'police action.' It's a World War III or IV. Adjust your graphics accordingly."
--Stephen Colbert
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