If Bush could run in the next election, he'd get beaten by the bird flu (31%)

"President Bush approval rating: all-time low. 31%. If Bush could run again in the next presidential election, he'd get beaten by the bird flu." --Jay Leno

"This Sunday NBC will finally air the last episode of its White House drama, the 'West Wing.' I say good riddance. When the series started out with Martin Sheen as a Democratic president, I thought 'Great, more of that what if the Nazis had won World War II alternative history bull crap.' But apparently, there were enough embittered, patchouli-smoking Gore voters tuning in to keep the show afloat year after year." --Stephen Colbert

"President Vladimir Putin gave his seventh annual address to Parliament. I watched mostly to see if he apologized to Vice President Cheney, who last week accused Putin of restricting human rights and hoarding oil. Perhaps not diplomatic, but to be fair, he did not shoot him in the face." --Stephen Colbert