"In a recent speech,
former President Bill Clinton said that if Hillary runs for president, he'll do whatever is asked of
him. Hillary says the first thing she's going to ask Bill to do is to stop
winking when he says that." --Conan O'Brien
"Ann Coulter is going
to be on the show tomorrow night. Security is very tight. In fact, there is
even restricted airspace over the studio. Her people are afraid that Dorothy's
house could drop on her." --Jay Leno
"Ladies and
gentleman, welcome to the Late Show. I need your help with this. Do you think
it's soon to hit on Mrs. Zarqawi?" --David Letterman
"According to a
recent study, my home state of Massachusetts has some of the worst drivers in
the nation, but in fairness to Massachusetts, we do have the Kennedys. That
throws the curve way off." --Jay Leno
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