So I guess that means people are really just happy to see you (Kim Jong Sandusky)

The world's most popular type of banana is now facing extinction due to a fungus in Panama. Yep. We're facing a banana shortage, so I guess that means people are really just happy to see you. –Jimmy Fallon

"A new survey found that 'Sophia' and 'Aiden' were the most popular baby names this year. The least popular baby name was Kim Jong Sandusky." –Jimmy Fallon

Yesterday, Jill Stein officially requested a hand recount of 4.8 million ballots in Michigan, but Donald Trump says he’s going to fight it, by shouting out other numbers while they’re trying to count. –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

They say this condition can last anywhere from a few minutes in some people to as long as two entire George W. Bush terms in office

 

"Everyone is so concerned now where all of the candidates are born. John McCain was born on a military base in Panama. Hillary Clinton was born outside Chicago, and if you believe the media, Barack Obama was born in a manger." --Jay Leno

"All kinds of gigantic sales going on after Christmas. Today in Washington, lobbyist Jack Abramoff was selling Tom DeLay at 50% off." --Jay Leno

 

"According to a study at the University of Colorado, researchers say morning grogginess can give you a feeling of being legally drunk and unable to think straight. They say this condition can last anywhere from a few minutes in some people to as long as two entire George W. Bush terms in office." --Jay Leno

 

"It looks like even President Bush is now being affected by the writers' strike. Well sure, no new 'SpongeBob' episodes." --Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Captain Underpants has been promoted to Colonel (Hey — baguettes)

On Monday, Donald Trump met with the president of Panama and bragged that the U.S. built the Panama Canal. Trump’s bringing up a project from 100 years ago like he had something to do with it. So I guess if he never builds his border wall, he can always take credit for the one in China. –James Corden

This is basically the only thing Trump knows about Panama. He meets someone from Panama and says, “Hey — canal.” He meets someone from France and says, “Hey — baguettes.” He meets someone from Russia and says, “Hey — thanks for helping me with that whole beating Hillary thing.” –James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535

If I had read that many of Anthony Weiner’s emails, I don’t think I’d ever dance again

During a meeting with the president of Panama today, President Trump said, “We did a good job building the Panama Canal,” despite the fact that the canal was constructed over a century ago. Mr. President, if you’re going to keep saying stuff this dumb in front of other world leaders, could you at least wear a big bandage on your head? You know, so it seems like there’s a reason. –Seth Meyers

Former FBI Director James Comey was reportedly seen dancing this weekend at a wedding in Washington, D.C. Gotta say, I’m impressed. If I had read that many of Anthony Weiner’s emails, I don’t think I’d ever dance again. –Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535

No offense intended guys. It was just a botched war (Think inside the bun)

"And more problems with John McCain. The New York Times is now saying there is a question as to whether McCain is eligible to become president because he was born in Panama. See, his parents were in the military, so he was born in Panama. In fact, the reason they moved away from Panama, the building of the canal was keeping the young John McCain up." --Jay Leno

"I don't want to say McCain is old, but yesterday he got on the wrong bus, and ended up taking a gambling junket to Atlantic City." --Jay Leno

"And Senator Larry Craig, America's favorite restroom enthusiast, announced he's actually looking for interns who want to work in his office. Here's the creepy part. His advice to anyone who wants to be his intern, 'Think inside the bun.'" --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Homeland Security has less video surveillance than the New England Patriots (Born in a manger)

"Just 48 hours after Homeland Security officials told Congress a 28-milelong virtual fence along the U.S./Mexican border was working, they now say it will be delayed three years because they can't get the video surveillance to work. Can't get it to work. Isn't that amazing? Do you realize, Homeland Security has less video surveillance than the New England Patriots." --Jay Leno

"In movie news, the movie 'Panic Room 2' is now in development. The whole thing is gonna be filmed at Hillary Clinton's campaign headquarters." --Jay Leno

"Everyone is so concerned now where all of the candidates are born. McCain was born on a military base in Panama. Hillary was born outside Chicago, and if you believe the media, Barack Obama was born in a manger." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html