Sadly eyewitnesses report that he was actually riding wood and chopping horses (What a genius, he'll be missed)

Dr. James Watts a neurosurgeon who performed the first frontal lobotomy died this week in Washington. If you recall, a lobotomy involves drilling holes in the skull and then inserting and rotating a knife to destroy brain cells. What a genius, he'll be missed. --Norm Macdonald, SNL

Former First Lady Nancy Reagan reports that her husband has been relaxing at their ranch riding horses and chopping wood. Sadly eyewitnesses report that he was actually riding wood and chopping horses. --Norm Macdonald, SNL

In North Dakota this week a hunter narrowly escaped death when a pocketknife in his breast pocket deflected a bullet shot by another hunter. Man, you know we have too many weapons in this country when people are getting shot in the knife. --Norm Macdonald, SNL

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

America isn’t ready to have a president who’s only 70 (in other words, she never had a chance)

“Elizabeth Warren was an incredibly competent, pragmatic, intelligent and well-spoken — in other words, she never had a chance.” — Seth Meyers

“In spite of her experience, her track record and her skills in the debates, American voters ultimately decided she just didn’t have what they were looking for in a president, which is a penis.” — Jimmy Kimmel

“Yeah, after a lot of thought and reflection, Warren realized she was overqualified for the job.” — Jimmy Fallon

“Yeah, apparently, America isn’t ready to have a president who’s only 70.” — Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Hey easy with that! That's my lucky stabbing hat! (or his more recent baseball nickname, Senior Crappie)

In a brilliant move during closing arguments the O.J. Simpson Attorney, Johnnie Cochran, put on the knit cap prosecutors say OJ wore the night he committed the murders. Although OJ may have hurt his case when he suddenly blurted out, “Hey easy with that! That's my lucky stabbing hat!” --Norm Macdonald, SNL

Well it's official. Michael Jordan is leaving baseball to return to basketball. It is unclear whether the media will now refer to him by his old basketball nickname, Air Jordan, or his more recent baseball nickname, Senior Crappie. --Norm Macdonald, SNL

Former First Lady Nancy Reagan reports that her husband has been relaxing at their ranch riding horses and chopping wood. Sadly eyewitnesses report that he was actually riding wood and chopping horses. --Norm Macdonald, SNL

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

And, of course, people are shocked. Detroit has a mayor's mansion?

"Hey, John McCain is moving up in the polls. In fact, he appears to be getting support from younger voters. How young you say? Well, yesterday, he was endorsed by Nancy Reagan. She said she's either going to endorse McCain or nobody. Well, that's got to make you feel good, huh?" --Jay Leno

"And at a speech earlier today in Sterling, Virginia, President Bush said the economy is going through a rough patch, but he's confident things will work out. Unless you own a home, own a car, have stock, or you're over 65." --Jay Leno

"The mayor of Detroit, Kwame Kilpatrick, has been charged with perjury after he got caught sending his chief of staff text messages about having sex. Yeah. He's also being investigated for having strippers at the mayor's mansion. And, of course, people are shocked. Detroit has a mayor's mansion?" --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

Jimmy Dore: Tom Brokaw Unwittingly Reveals Whats Wrong With Corporate Journalists

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html
#Bernie2020
#JusticeDemocrats

When Washington gets its prostate checked, it tickles you!

"You're not a Washington insider? You, the former Speaker of the House and Freddie Mac consulting millionaire, are the Washington insider. When Washington gets its prostate checked, it tickles you!" –Jon Stewart, on Newt Gingrich campaigning as a Washington outsider

“Rick Santorum (is taking) fire from the left. He may want to get a Kevlar sweater vest.” –Stephen Colbert



"Mitt Romney released his tax records and they showed that he earned $42 million over the last two years. So now the other candidates aren't running for president. They're running to be Mitt Romney." –Conan O'Brien



"People who saw Steven Tyler sing the National Anthem at the Patriots game yesterday said, 'Nancy Regan really looks good for her age." But Steven Tyler got some of the lyrics wrong, so now everyone thinks the song goes, 'Flag looks like a lady.'" –Conan O'Brien