It has also been hired as the newest correspondent on 60 Minutes (It was supposed to be my war with Russia!)

The largest complete T Rex skeleton just sold at auction and it’s 67 million years old. It has also been hired as the newest correspondent on 60 Minutes. —Tom Shillue 

A Florida man is being ordered to undergo a psychosexual evaluation after being caught having sex with the vacuum cleaner, even worse he was cheating on his blender at the time. —Tom Shillue. 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

he's the man to bring a dinosaur to life (nah, not feeling it)

After shaking as many hands as possible in Saudi Arabia President Trump teased Joe Biden for only offering up a fist bump years ago, which is still better than Hunter who offered a bump off his fist. —Greg Gutfeld

According to a new book Biden brought in Steven Spielberg to help his campaign. His staff had just watched Jurassic Park and figured he's the man to bring a dinosaur to life. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Finally a purse that matches my face (Do you kiss your brother with that mouth?)

This week Congresswoman Ilhan Omar told a reporter for the Daily Caller to f off. Seriously Ilhan, do you kiss your brother with that mouth? —Greg Gutfeld

A company claims they are coming out with leather purses made from 66 million year old dinosaur DNA. Finally a purse that matches my face said Nancy Pelosi. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

just because you went for a long time, doesn’t mean you did a good job (1,000 pounds of dinosaur meat a day)

President Biden marked the end of his first year in office with a two hour press conference. Because that’s how long it took to list everything that’s gone wrong. But as I have been told many times before, just because you went for a long time, doesn’t mean you did a good job. —Colin Jost

Dwayne Johnson said that a skull of a T-Rex that was seen behind him during a recent interview was a replica and not the real thing. Johnson also said that it is just a coincidence that his diet calls for 1,000 pounds of dinosaur meat a day. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

In the kid's defense, he did bring enough for everyone (Five or six people is also how Trump describes his kids)

Police in Philadelphia are investigating after a 5-year-old boy walked into his preschool class holding about two dozen vials of crack cocaine. In the kid's defense, he did bring enough for everyone. --Seth Meyers

"60 Minutes" correspondent Morley Safer will formally retire this week after 46 seasons with the show. Safer made his name as a young reporter covering the landmark case of "Asteroid v. Dinosaurs." –Seth Meyers

Donald Trump told the Associated Press yesterday that he had whittled down his list of possible running mates to "five or six people." Five or six people is also how Trump describes his kids. –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The book will be divided into the two chapters, 'Heads' and 'Tails.' (When was the last time you saw that happen?)

"Former President Bush announced today he is writing a book on how he made decisions while in the White House. The book will be divided into the two chapters, 'Heads' and 'Tails.'" –Jay Leno

"Record ratings for the Oscars last night. Kathryn Bigelow won best director for her film about the Iraq war. But in her speech, she forgot to thank the two people without whom this film could never have been made — Bush and Cheney." –Jay Leno

"No, Larry Craig's lawyer yesterday told a three-judge panel in Minnesota that the foot tapping in a men's room must be protected under the first amendment right to free speech. Boy, the Republicans using the Constitution? When was the last time you saw that happen?" --Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

But how will we pay for that? (At least that’s the explanation coming from United Airlines)

President Trump yesterday issued a statement calling for paid family leave. Which is a little surprising until you remember that he’s already paid two families to leave. –Seth Meyers

A 101-year-old man recently became the oldest person to skydive. At least that’s the explanation coming from United Airlines. –Seth Meyers

"60 Minutes" correspondent Morley Safer will formally retire this week after 46 seasons with the show. Safer made his name as a young reporter covering the landmark case of "Asteroid v. Dinosaurs." –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

it is just a coincidence that his diet calls for 1,000 pounds of dinosaur meat a day (Real Girls' Talk)

A new study lists the best city in the U.S. to raise a family as Moscow, Idaho. While the worst is once again Handsy Uncle, Maryland. --Colin Jost, SNL

Last week was a pretty bad year for Donald Trump. Think about what’s currently under investigation for him. Trump’s campaign, his transition, his inauguration, his business and his presidency. So everyone check your card. You might have impeachment Bingo. --Colin Jost, SNL

Dwayne Johnson said that a skull of a T-Rex that was seen behind him during a recent interview was a replica and not the real thing. Johnson also said that it is just a coincidence that his diet calls for 1,000 pounds of dinosaur meat a day. —Colin Jost

And this Monday is tax day. So if you haven’t paid any taxes yet, you’re Amazon. --Colin Jost, SNL

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

See what you can accomplish when you don't have Congress standing in your way? (or if God just put the Earth on 'Shuffle.')

July 2014

"Pope Francis is considering repealing celibacy for priests. Priests will no longer have to take a vow of celibacy. See what you can accomplish when you don't have Congress standing in your way?" –David Letterman

"This crazy weather we've been having all over the country — it's because the polar vortex is back. The polar vortex is causing the Midwest to experience fall-like temperatures. I can't tell if climate change is still a problem or if God just put the Earth on 'Shuffle.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"And maybe that's why the FCC just announced that it wants to overhaul the Emergency Alert System so President Obama would be able to interrupt any TV broadcast and address the country instantly. Which of course raises the question: He can't do that ALREADY? They want to make it so the president can instantly interrupt TV broadcasts whenever there's breaking news. Then Obama said, 'And I mean REAL breaking news, not that CNN stuff.'" –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I gave birth to a water cooler, Richard! (he only hid it medium well)

Donald Trump told the Associated Press yesterday that he had whittled down his list of possible running mates to "five or six people." Five or six people is also how Trump describes his kids. –Seth Meyers

A woman in Texas broke a hospital record recently after delivering a nearly 15-pound baby. So good luck to her husband on ever complaining about anything again. "Oh, you have a headache? I gave birth to a water cooler, Richard!" --Seth Meyers

"60 Minutes" correspondent Morley Safer will formally retire this week after 46 seasons with the show. Safer made his name as a young reporter covering the landmark case of "Asteroid v. Dinosaurs." –Seth Meyers

Police in Ohio recently arrested a man for allegedly stealing meat from a supermarket after catching him with steak in his pants. The steak was visible, because he only hid it medium well. --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

My date is wearing an invisibility cloak (that's just his favorite aisle at Wal-Mart)

"Listen to this: In 2009, the F.B.I. reported a 20 percent decrease in the number of people robbing banks. There was, however, a huge increase in the number of banks robbing people." –Jimmy Fallon

The Harry Potter Studio Tour just announced that it's hosting a Valentine's Day dinner in the Great Hall from Hogwarts. It's great for couples, or for single guys who claim their date is wearing an “invisibility cloak.” –Jimmy Fallon

"Former Arkansas governor and potential 2016 candidate Mike Huckabee is releasing his 12th book later this month called, 'God, Guns, Grits, and Gravy.' The craziest part: that's just his favorite aisle at Wal-Mart." –Jimmy Fallon

"Fifteen states across the country have gas prices that have dipped below $2. That means it's now cheaper to buy a gallon of liquefied dinosaurs than one cup of coffee at Starbucks." –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

His diet calls for 1,000 pounds of dinosaur meat a day (I also kind of hate Ireland)

January 2022

In a new interview, Bono reveals that he never liked the name U2, adding, ‘I also kind of hate Ireland.’ —Colin Jost

Longtime director of Wheel of Fortune has died at the age of 92. Said Wheel of Fortune viewers, ‘Wow. So young.’ —Colin Jost

This week, Britain’s most eligible bachelor, Prince Andrew, officially deleted his Twitter account after he realized that’s not the App with the dancing teenagers. —Colin Jost

Dwayne Johnson said that a skull of a T-Rex that was seen behind him during a recent interview was a replica and not the real thing. Johnson also said that it is just a coincidence that his diet calls for 1,000 pounds of dinosaur meat a day. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

#1001Ways #RandomThoughts #poetry

 

Trump thinks it's his phone telling him that it loves that part of the tweet (T. rex)

Over the weekend Trump tweeted about James Comey and Robert Mueller but he misspelled the words "counsel" and "shady." Trump doesn't know the red underline means spell check — he thinks it's his phone telling him that it loves that part of the tweet. --Jimmy Fallon

At this weekend's London marathon, a man proposed to his girlfriend while dressed as a T. rex — which backfired when his arms were too short to open the ring box. --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I like your style (Sorry for that image...)

"This morning, John McCain, I don't know if you saw this, he appeared as a guest on 'The View.' Did you see that? Yeah, there was kind of an awkward moment when McCain looked at Barbara Walters, he looked at her up and down and said, 'Man, if I was 20 years younger...' Sorry. Sorry for that image." --Conan O'Brien

"Sarah Palin, in case you don't know, had her first real interview as vice presidential nominee last night. Charlie Gibson sat down and asked some very good, some tough questions. McCain people said they were happy with the interview and they may let her do another one, maybe in a month or two." --Jimmy Kimmel



"Sarah Palin is very, very popular. She is on the cover of pretty much every magazine, except 'Oprah.' But one person who is not a fan is Matt Damon [on screen: Damon saying he wants to ask Palin if she believes dinosaurs were around 4,000 years ago. He also mentions she would have the nuclear codes if she were to become president]. Not a bad thing to wonder about. If you think about it, Sarah Palin is like his character from 'The Bourne Identity.' She came from out of nowhere, nobody knows about her, and they both kill everything in sight." --Jimmy Kimmel



http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535 #Bernie2020

trying to sell more lemonade in Times Square than Gary Busey

The giant meteor hitting the Earth polled particularly well among independent voters, and unsurprisingly, poorly amongst dinosaurs. –Stephen Colbert

Now Trump might be getting a boost in the polls because sources say Trump is vetting Chris Christie as a potential running mate. Christie would definitely help Trump win voters in New Jersey, who are anxious to get rid of Chris Christie. –Stephen Colbert

The source claims Christie has begun the official vetting process, which I believe means trying to sell more lemonade in Times Square than Gary Busey. –Stephen Colbert

the world’s first "Walk of Shame."

Scientists say they have discovered evidence of the mating habits of dinosaurs. What they found are giant footprints from the world’s first "Walk of Shame." –Conan O’Brien

In Southern California, residents can get up to $100 if they use rain barrels to catch extra rainwater. Experts say it’s a great way to make money, two days a year. –Conan O’Brien

Former Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, who was videotaped smoking crack, now says he wants to be Toronto’s mayor again. When asked why he wants the job again, he said, "So I can afford to buy crack." –Conan O’Brien