And that's just to clean the bathrooms (he knows all the words to Bohemian Rhapsody)

Before he met Putin, Trump was in the U.K., where he met Queen

Elizabeth. It got off to a bumpy start when the first thing Trump

told the queen was that he knows all the words to “Bohemian

Rhapsody.” --Jimmy Fallon

New York and New Jersey officials have agreed to reconstruct the Port Authority Bus Terminal here in New York, and the project will cost an estimated $10 to $15 billion. And that's just to clean the bathrooms. –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It's the first time Trump has met with a woman this often, and not paid her $130,000 (he knows all the words to Bohemian Rhapsody)

Before he met Putin, Trump was in the U.K., where he met Queen Elizabeth. It got off to a bumpy start when the first thing Trump told the queen was that he knows all the words to “Bohemian Rhapsody.” --Jimmy Fallon

Next week Trump is hosting German Chancellor Angela Merkel at the White House for the second time. This is so historic. It's the first time Trump has met with a woman this often, and not paid her $130,000. --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

It’s great news for anyone who loves theme parks but wished the lines were a billion times longer (he knows all the words to Bohemian Rhapsody)

Disney revealed its plans for its upcoming resort and theme park in Shanghai, which will open next year. It’s great news for anyone who loves theme parks but wished the lines were a billion times longer. —Jimmy Fallon

Before he met Putin, Trump was in the U.K., where he met Queen Elizabeth. It got off to a bumpy start when the first thing Trump told the queen was that he knows all the words to “Bohemian Rhapsody.” --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Ok, start by milking your goat (he knows all the words to Bohemian Rhapsody)

Disney revealed its plans for its upcoming resort and theme park in Shanghai, which will open next year. It’s great news for anyone who loves theme parks but wished the lines were a billion times longer. —Jimmy Fallon

Before he met Putin, Trump was in the U.K., where he met Queen Elizabeth. It got off to a bumpy start when the first thing Trump told the queen was that he knows all the words to “Bohemian Rhapsody.” --Jimmy Fallon

“Actually, I got a little choked up watching Richard Branson’s flight. It always warms my heart to see billionaires achieve their dreams. I was happy for him, though. Normally when a billionaire flies away faster than the speed of sound, it’s because they just got linked to Jeffrey Epstein.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You can tell its Bush's baseball card because eight years after you buy it, its value decreases $14 trillion. (accidentally hitting Send)

The president of Iran prematurely announced the nuclear deal on Twitter yesterday before it was official. Which isn’t that big a deal until you realize the guy who almost had nukes is known for accidentally hitting "Send." –Jimmy Fallon

"I just read that George W. Bush is getting his own limited edition baseball card. You can tell its Bush's card because eight years after you buy it, its value decreases $14 trillion." –Jimmy Fallon

Before he met Putin, Trump was in the U.K., where he met Queen Elizabeth. It got off to a bumpy start when the first thing Trump told the queen was that he knows all the words to “Bohemian Rhapsody.” --Jimmy Fallon

Last night was the season premiere of “Game of Thrones.” No spoilers! But HBO’s streaming site crashed during the episode. That’s how crazy this show has gotten: They are killing off websites now. –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I gave birth to a water cooler, Richard! (he only hid it medium well)

Donald Trump told the Associated Press yesterday that he had whittled down his list of possible running mates to "five or six people." Five or six people is also how Trump describes his kids. –Seth Meyers

A woman in Texas broke a hospital record recently after delivering a nearly 15-pound baby. So good luck to her husband on ever complaining about anything again. "Oh, you have a headache? I gave birth to a water cooler, Richard!" --Seth Meyers

"60 Minutes" correspondent Morley Safer will formally retire this week after 46 seasons with the show. Safer made his name as a young reporter covering the landmark case of "Asteroid v. Dinosaurs." –Seth Meyers

Police in Ohio recently arrested a man for allegedly stealing meat from a supermarket after catching him with steak in his pants. The steak was visible, because he only hid it medium well. --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

while I'm pretty sure Lady Gaga took home Bradley Cooper (a number 3 and a number 5)

Rami Malek took home the Oscar for Best Actor last night for his portrayal of Freddie Mercury in "Bohemian Rhapsody," while I'm pretty sure Lady Gaga took home Bradley Cooper. --Seth Meyers

A new report has placed the U.S. as the 35th healthiest country in the world. Americans celebrated by ordering a number 3 and a number 5. --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”  

The first thing Trump told the queen was that he knows all the words to “Bohemian Rhapsody.” (Make your toilet great again)

Trump and Putin also held a press conference where Trump actually defended Putin and seemed to side with Russia over his own intelligence agencies. After the press conference, CNN, MSNBC, and even Fox News slammed Trump for his performance. Trump said he shouldn't jump to any conclusions until we hear what Cartoon Network has to say. --Jimmy Fallon

Before he met Putin, Trump was in the U.K., where he met Queen Elizabeth. It got off to a bumpy start when the first thing Trump told the queen was that he knows all the words to “Bohemian Rhapsody.” --Jimmy Fallon

This weekend France won the World Cup and they were led by a 19-year-old prodigy named Kylian Mbappe. After the game, Mbappe said winning the World Cup totally makes up for being named after a Hanson song. --Jimmy Fallon

The 12 boys who were rescued from a cave in Thailand last week are about to be released from the hospital. They said the first thing they want to eat is KFC. Then their doctor was like, “Dear God, haven’t your bodies been through enough?” --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Trumpian Rhapsody (no escape from reality)

Sean Spicer quit on Friday because President Trump appointed a new communications director, former hedge fund manager and lawyer Anthony Scaramucci. Of course, when it comes to Scaramucci, there’s only one question everybody’s asking: [Queen “Bohemian Rhapsody” clip] “Scaramouche! Scaramouche! Will you do the fandango?” –Stephen Colbert

Not only did Sean Spicer resign over “the Mooch’s” hiring, but a White House insider says, “This was a murdering of Reince and Bannon. They said Anthony would get this job over their dead bodies.” That’s terrible. Before this, those guys were only dead on the Inside. –Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535 #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

can’t wait to find a new way to blow it (I See a Little Silhouette-o of a Man)

Right now the New York Times says that Hillary has a 76 percent chance of winning the election. Hillary says she's excited by the news and can’t wait to find a new way to blow it. –Jimmy Fallon

Today Donald Trump officially won the Republican nomination. Which makes the entrance he made last night at the convention even more spectacular. Donald said he wanted his entrance to be like his plans for the economy: foggy and mysterious. –Jimmy Fallon

What's really interesting is that he came out to the Queen song "We are the Champions." I would have gone with a different Queen song: "I See a Little Silhouette-o of a Man." –Jimmy Fallon