a downright fool and complete narcissist moron (her rap name)

The State Department warned that Americans returning from China face a risk of wrongful detention. China in turn warned that any Chinese visiting America face a risk of being roofied by Eric Swallwell. —Greg Gutfeld 

A federal search warrant revealed Ilhan Omar's real name is Ilhan Nur Said Elmo. Even more shocking, her rap name is Lil Jeanpool. —Greg Gutfeld 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Guess who's living through the biggest psychological operation in the history of mankind? (And for 100 grand, she'll marry you)

So, an American teacher was released Wednesday after spending 4 years in a Russian prison. And after returning to an American public school for just one day, he couldn't wait to get back to a Russian prison. —Greg Gutfeld 

Ilhan Omar posted a TikTok asking followers to help cover her legal bills. $100 will get you a signed photo. A thousand gets a meet and greet. And for 100 grand, she'll marry you. —Greg Gutfeld 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

What is the biggest threat to our freedom? (4 years in a Russian prison)

So, an American teacher was released Wednesday after spending 4 years in a Russian prison. And after returning to an American public school for just one day, he couldn't wait to get back to a Russian prison. —Greg Gutfeld 

Ilhan Omar posted a TikTok asking followers to help cover her legal bills. $100 will get you a signed photo. A thousand gets a meet and greet. And for 100 grand, she'll marry you. —Greg Gutfeld 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Second greatest trick (but that's just cuz it's everywhere)

Meanwhile, during the riots in France, Emmanuel Macron was seen with his wife at a Celine Dion concert. We can't tell if he's upset over the riots or that he's at a Celine Dion concert. —Greg Gutfeld 

And so federal prosecutors say that DNA evidence could prove that Ilhan Omar committed immigration fraud. They also found Bill Clinton's DNA, but that's just cuz it's everywhere. —Greg Gutfeld 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

When the feds knocked, she panicked and tried to flush her brother down the toilet (the least they can do is give him a head start)

On Monday morning, Homeland Security conducted a pre-dawn raid on the home of Ilhan Omar. When the feds knocked, she panicked and tried to flush her brother down the toilet. —Greg Gutfeld 

President Trump is expressing doubts about live streaming the execution of the Fort Hood shooter, who is after all in a wheelchair. I mean, the least they can do is give him a head start. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

right before they took her keys to her car (If only she could get close enough to her cake to blow out the candles)

The mayor of Jackson, Mississippi, signed a proclamation declaring Kamala Harris Day to honor all of her accomplishments. They're calling it Cinco de Drunko. Kamala was also awarded Jackson, Mississippi's key to the city, which was offered right before they took her keys to her car. —Greg Gutfeld

The House Oversight Committee is looking into how Ilhan Omar and her husband went from being nearly broke to having $30 million in just one year. But Omar credits her financial adviser, Nancy Pelosi. —Greg Gutfeld

Today is music icon Dolly Parton's 80th birthday. If only she could get close enough to her cake to blow out the candles. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He says it was all due to just one new customer (Prince Harry's Testicles)

So, the DOJ is looking into how Ilhan Omar's husband’s wine business jumped from one to five million in 2024. He says it was all due to just one new customer, Kamala Harris. —Greg Gutfeld

Sources claim Meghan Markle's Netflix show With Love will not be returning for a third season. Also not returning for a third season, Prince Harry's Testicles. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

If only she could get close enough to her cake to blow out the candles (Cinco de Drunko)

The mayor of Jackson, Mississippi, signed a proclamation declaring Kamala Harris Day to honor all of her accomplishments. They're calling it Cinco de Drunko. —Greg Gutfeld

The House Oversight Committee is looking into how Ilhan Omar and her husband went from being nearly broke to having $30 million in just one year. But she credits her financial adviser, Nancy Pelosi. —Greg Gutfeld

Today is music icon Dolly Parton's 80th birthday. If only she could get close enough to her cake to blow out the candles. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Well, he never said it was on his head (every single time it turns out they lied)

In a recent interview, former Vice President Kamala Harris said, quote, "There will be a marvel bust of me in Congress." And she added how cool it is that they can carve on something as small as a marble. —Greg Gutfeld 

Gavin Newsom claimed his hair literally burst during the Palisades fire. I know you're thinking his hair looks fine, right? Well, he never said it was on his head. —Greg Gutfeld 

According to the Daily Mail, Ilhan Omar told friends years ago that her second husband was in fact her brother. The wedding guests were tipped off when the couple's first dance was to We Are Family. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Finally a purse that matches my face (Do you kiss your brother with that mouth?)

This week Congresswoman Ilhan Omar told a reporter for the Daily Caller to f off. Seriously Ilhan, do you kiss your brother with that mouth? —Greg Gutfeld

A company claims they are coming out with leather purses made from 66 million year old dinosaur DNA. Finally a purse that matches my face said Nancy Pelosi. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It's the only place where people can't get up and leave when he starts yapping (Hey lady, stay in your lane)

New York AG Leticia James is under investigation for falsifying records to get loans. Funny, isn't this exactly the thing she tried to prosecute Trump for? Makes me wonder, what if she banged Stormy Daniels? —Greg Gutfeld

On one loan Leticia James reportedly listed her father as her husband. Hey lady, stay in your lane, said Ilhan Omar. —Greg Gutfeld

Cory Booker wants to visit the prisoners in El Salvador. That makes sense. It's the only place where people can't get up and leave when he starts yapping. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He looked presidential at the last debate thanks to his brilliant strategy of standing next to Jeb Bush (Or as the GOP calls them, “A Caravan!”)

I've been trying to say “I love you” more often, starting this morning. I said it to my family before I left the house. And then to my barista. And then to her manager, when the barista complained that one of the customers was making her uncomfortable. –Stephen Colbert

Everyone on the GOP side is about to get plenty of face time at tomorrow's fourth Republican debate. All eyes are on Marco Rubio. He looked presidential at the last debate thanks to his brilliant strategy of standing next to Jeb Bush. –Stephen Colbert

It was also a banner election for diversity. First of all, at least 110 women won last night. Meaning a record number of women will be serving in congress. Rashida Talib of Michigan and Ilhan Omar of Minnesota became the first Muslim women in congress. That’s right, two Muslim women. Or as the GOP calls them, “A Caravan!” --Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Get the fact checkers on that (Who's Charlotte?)

September 2012

"Did you see that Bill Clinton speech? Of course, it made the Republicans furious. They said, 'No fair. Not everyone has an ex-president who can speak.'" –Bill Maher

"Clinton was just devastating in his simplicity. He said, 'I came from a place where people still thought 2 and 2 was four.' And over at Fox News they said, 'Get the fact checkers on that.'" –Bill Maher

"It really was a dream night for Bill Clinton – Democrats in love with him, hanging on his every word, Hillary was in China 10,000 miles away. We don't even know if she saw the speech. In fact, someone said to her today, 'Did you catch Bill in Charlotte?' And he said, 'Who's Charlotte?'" –Bill Maher

"When you look at the two conventions, the speeches at the Democratic convention were just better. Go back and watch Mitt Romney. After seeing Michele Obama speak, and Bill Clinton speak, and the president speak, it's like watching an armless guy paint with his ass." –Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

That unborn child is Luke Skywalker (the last voyage of the Space Shuttle)

"I'm upset that friend of the show Mike Huckabee criticized Natalie Portman for having a child out of wedlock. But this is Natalie Portman we're talking about. That unborn child is Luke Skywalker." –Conan O'Brien

"This is the last voyage of the Space Shuttle, and President Obama called them in space today: 'You're not going to believe what's happening with Charlie Sheen down here.'" –Conan O'Brien

"Arnold Schwarzenegger has been offered a role in a sequel to 'The Terminator.' In this one he travels back in time and kills the person who suggested he run for Governor." –Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

it's real simple alarm - it consists of a sticker (Just start spelling it then quit)

I was home last week and I heard I heard a gunshot outside of my apartment. Then I saw two guys run by my window so I was gonna call the police, but then I got optimistic. I said, hey maybe it’s just a race. Yeah, that’s what it is. There's a lot of late night track and field events by my house. —Mitch Hedberg

I live in a studio apartment.  I got a sliding glass door that has a sticker on it that says, Warning Alarm System. it's real simple alarm - it consists of a sticker. —Mitch Hedberg

When I was eighteen my friend Tim and I, we packed up his Volare and we moved from Minnesota to Florida. We wanted to move to Texas but the front end of his car was out of alignment. --Mitch Hedberg

I had a roommate named Eddie who was kind of slow. I asked him one day how to abbreviate Arkansas, Eddie said, “I don’t know. Just start spelling it then quit.” --Mitch Hedberg

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Mayday! We have a problem. (No corporate donors)

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I’m going to use it. --Steven Wright

Sponges grow in the ocean. That kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn’t happen. --Steven Wright

I was folding my bed back into coach. I almost broke both my arms cause it’s not one of those kinds of beds. --Steven Wright.

Hermits have no peer pressure. --Steven Wright

A wicker chair it's my favorite chair. Because I stole it. I was at a crowded party and when no one was looking I went over to it and I unraveled it. --Steven Wright

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Secular Talk: Bill Maher Goes After BDS & Ilhan Omar

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Jordan Chariton: Israel Bans Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib After President Trump Tweets (Yes, This is Real Life)

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Young Turks: Netanyahu BANS Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

In 70 years, the U.K. has gone from Winston Churchill to a roadie for Spinal Tap (You’ll never take me alive!)

“Pro-Brexit politician Boris Johnson was officially elected today to become the U.K.’s next prime minister. Great. In 70 years, the U.K. has gone from Winston Churchill to a roadie for Spinal Tap.” --Seth Meyers

“What were you expecting from his testimony? Did you think Mueller was going to smash through the wall in a monster truck called the DeTrumpulator?” --Seth Meyers

Some Democrats were happy to hear Mueller suggest that President Trump could be charged with obstruction of justice after he leaves office. “You know when Trump heard that, he started pushing the sofa in front of the door. [Imitating Trump] ‘You’ll never take me alive!’” --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”