Matt Damon was nominated for best actor for "The Martian," also nominated for best musical or comedy. Some people are complaining that "The Martian" isn't a musical or a comedy. I disagree. It's definitely not a musical, but the idea of Matt Damon being left for dead on another planet, to me, that's funny. –Jimmy Kimmel
"Time magazine named their person of the year today. It was not a member of Congress." –Jimmy Kimmel
"Germany has overtaken the United States as the world's favorite country. Germany is the most popular country in the world. That is one hell of a comeback." –Jimmy Kimmel
Matt Damon was nominated for best actor for "The Martian," also nominated for best musical or comedy. Some people are complaining that "The Martian" isn't a musical or a comedy. I disagree. It's definitely not a musical, but the idea of Matt Damon being left for dead on another planet, to me, that's funny. –Jimmy Kimmel
Matt Damon was nominated for best actor for "The Martian," also nominated for best musical or comedy. Some people are complaining that "The Martian" isn't a musical or a comedy. I disagree. It's definitely not a musical, but the idea of Matt Damon being left for dead on another planet, to me, that's funny. –Jimmy Kimmel
"Time magazine named their person of the year today. It was not a member of Congress." –Jimmy Kimmel
The most popular reality TV show in America right now is Donald Trump's campaign for president. Trump, yesterday, proposed a "total and complete shutdown" of Muslims coming into the United States. Even former Vice President Dick Cheney said the ban goes against everything we believe in. And this is a guy who shot one of his friends in the face. --Jimmy Kimmel
President Obama said he believes Mr. Trump will not be president because the American people “recognize that being president is a serious job. It's not hosting a talk show." Maybe I don't get to do “serious” stuff like pardoning a turkey on Thanksgiving but I'll tell you something, Mr. Obama: Every minute of every day I'm thinking about how to keep Americans safe from Matt Damon. –Jimmy Kimmel
Kendall and Kylie Jenner released a new iPhone app where it lets you enter the "glamorous and exciting world of Kendall and Kylie Jenner," another way of saying “stare at your phone for hours.” Once you download this app, your phone is no longer a smartphone. –Jimmy Kimmel
A lot of people aren’t getting the tax refunds they were expecting. Most people thought the big Trump Tax Cut was going to cut taxes. The reason it was called the Trump Tax Cuts is that it cuts taxes for Trump. The average refund is down by 8% across the board. Many of those who voted for Trump came up with a hashtag GOPTaxScam. Some people are saying their refunds are so tiny, they even fit in Donald Trump’s hand. --Jimmy Kimmel
“The U.S. Men's Soccer Team's big win over Iran in the World Cup. That’s exciting. I don't know if anyone's more excited than Biden. This is real. When he found out the result, he ran back onstage after making a speech to make the announcement, but his mic wasn't on. Biden didn't care. He was finally living his boyhood dream — silent film star. —Jimmy Fallon
“Today Prince William and Kate Middleton arrived in Boston for their first trip to the U.S. in nearly 10 years. This was nice. They met with Boston royalty, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck.” —Jimmy Fallon
“Did you guys see this? Following a massive spike in sales, The Phantom of the Opera has extended its final Broadway run by eight weeks. The Phantom was like, ‘I was this close to not having to wear a mask.’” —Jimmy Fallon
“Well, this is fun. I saw that next month, the world's largest go-kart track is opening in New Jersey. What took so long? It's already the tracksuit capital of the world. It makes sense, though. New Jersey is the one place you're actually gonna find a man named Mario in a go-kart.” —Jimmy Fallon
"It has been revealed that Sarah Palin had a tanning bed installed in the Alaska Governor's mansion. All along, I thought we had the only Governor who covered himself in baby oil." –Jimmy Kimmel
"Sarah Palin is very, very popular. She is on the cover of pretty much every magazine, except 'Oprah.' But one person who is not a fan is Matt Damon [on screen: Damon saying he wants to ask Palin if she believes dinosaurs were around 4,000 years ago. He also mentions she would have the nuclear codes if she were to become president]. Not a bad thing to wonder about. If you think about it, Sarah Palin is like his character from 'The Bourne Identity.' She came from out of nowhere, nobody knows about her, and they both kill everything in sight." –Jimmy Kimmel
"Of course, it wasn't just a tanning bed in Palin’s house -- in a pinch, it also works as a moose smoker. The plan is not only too overshadow Hillary as a female candidate, but also overshadow Barack Obama as the black candidate." --Jimmy Kimmel
"Vladimir Putin doesn't know what the troops are doing there in Crimea. And he has no exit strategy. He got that from us." –David Letterman
"This situation in Ukraine is very serious. As a matter of fact, today George Clooney and Matt Damon flew in to rescue the artwork." –David Letterman
"Pope Francis told the press today that the Catholic Church could tolerate same-sex civil unions. You know, I think lately when people say, 'Is the Pope Catholic?' they're actually asking." –Seth Meyers
"Vladimir Putin doesn't know what the troops are doing there in Crimea. And he has no exit strategy. He got that from us." –David Letterman
"This situation in Ukraine is very serious. As a matter of fact, today George Clooney and Matt Damon flew in to rescue the artwork." –David Letterman
"Pope Francis told the press today that the Catholic Church could tolerate same-sex civil unions. You know, I think lately when people say, 'Is the Pope Catholic?' they're actually asking." –Seth Meyers
“On Thursday, President Biden announced new vaccine requirements for federal employees and contractors, health care workers and those working at companies with more than 100 employees. This really does feel like when your dad stops threatening and actually does turn the car around.” —James Corden
“Biden said it’s time to stop horsing around — and then he was like, ‘No, seriously, stop taking horse medicine.’” —James Corden
“But you know, there’s a reason pandemic movies end when the hero finds the cure for the disease. There’s no ‘Contagion’ sequel with Matt Damon running around trying to convince everyone to take the vaccine — they just take the vaccine. And thank God, by the way — he sucks. We don’t need more movies with him.” —Jimmy Kimmel
“Vaccine mandates have a proud history in this country. During a smallpox outbreak in 1777, George Washington required his troops to be immunized. And who can forget the immortal words of Paul Revere: ‘One if by J.&J., two if by Pfizer. The variants are coming! The variants are coming!’” —Stephen Colbert
"Thirty thousand kids and their parents participated in the annual White House Easter egg roll. The only problem was, First lady Michelle Obama was put in charge of the snacks. That's like putting Rick Santorum in charge of a rave." –Jimmy Kimmel
“Thirty thousand kids and their parents participated in the annual White House Easter Egg Roll, which has been going on for years. At this point there has to be thousands of undiscovered Easter eggs on the lawn of the White House. Future civilizations will think we were ruled by chickens.” –Jimmy Kimmel
"President Obama's popularity is starting to dwindle among well-known liberals like Matt Damon and Gene Simmons. In fact, you know the number one liberal to turn against President Obama? Mitt Romney." –Jay Leno
“Actually, Universal, the studio that made ‘Cats,’ pulled the movie from Oscar contention, which is always funny. They probably didn’t need to do that. That’s like Mike Pence pulling out of contention for a ‘Soul Train’ award — it’s unnecessary.” —Jimmy Kimmel
“I’m glad that at least one black woman was nominated for best actress. Congratulations, Cynthia Erivo, that’s exciting. Although it was kind of predictable it was for playing a slave. Yeah. I’m not saying she didn’t deserve it, but just imagine if every white actor who was nominated got it for playing a supervisor at Whole Foods, huh? White people, you’re more than just that!”—Trevor Noah
“And maybe the most surprising best picture nominee was ‘Ford v Ferrari.’ This is a movie that was apparently so good even Matt Damon couldn’t ruin it.” —Jimmy Kimmel
“This surprised a lot of people, though: ‘Frozen 2’ didn’t get nominated for best animated feature. The producer was like, ‘If one more person texts me “Let it go,” I am going to snap.’” —Jimmy Fallon
I have been working on a paper for the Education Market. The paper talks about using video games as a teaching tool for children with learning disabilities. The age demographic would be 8 to 18. Games could be up to the teacher or student to select. Games might include soccer, football, basketball, etc.
Students could learn about various historical or fictional characters and create them as players for their team. It would allow the student to study history, philosophy, religion, sports, popular culture, etc. and then create the characters to be a part of their team. The students would even be able to play alongside their created characters.
On some of the teams historical figures like Martin Luther King, and Abraham Lincoln will play on the same team with authors like Ernest Hemingway and William Shakespeare, or Elvis Presley and Tupac Shakur.
The process is meant to be a simple and fun way for kids to learn subjects such as world history, literature, poetry, art, music, science and vocabulary. Maybe PS4/XBOX machines might be donated or discounted to schools for these classes. More on the paper as it is fleshed out. Enjoy the simulations.
Also for sentimental reasons, some fallen friends and family are on this team. Semper Fi. May you rest in peace.
Washington Wizards
LeBron James
Michael Jordan
Elvin Hayes
Wes Unseld
Nelson Mandela, South African leader
Edward Snowden, whistleblower
Fox Muldar, X Files, played by David Duchovny
Martin Luther King, civil rights leader
Bill Russell
Miles Davis, musician
Jason Bourne, The Bourne Identity, played by Matt Damon
Jaqen H’ghar, Game of Thrones, played by Tom Wlaschiha
"Congratulations
to Matt Damon. His movie, 'The Bourne Ultimatum,' had the biggest movie opening
ever for the month of August. It made $70 million. Today, Senator John McCain
asked Matt Damon to be his running mate." --Jay Leno
"If
you haven't seen the movie, it's about a guy who works for the government who
can't remember his past. I think the original title was 'The Alberto Gonzales
Story.'" --Jay Leno
"This morning, John McCain, I
don't know if you saw this, he appeared as a guest on 'The View.' Did you see
that? Yeah, there was kind of an awkward moment when McCain looked at Barbara
Walters, he looked at her up and down and said, 'Man, if I was 20 years
younger...' Sorry. Sorry for that image." --Conan O'Brien
"Sarah Palin, in case you don't
know, had her first real interview as vice presidential nominee last night.
Charlie Gibson sat down and asked some very good, some tough questions. McCain
people said they were happy with the interview and they may let her do another
one, maybe in a month or two." --Jimmy Kimmel
"Sarah Palin is very, very
popular. She is on the cover of pretty much every magazine, except 'Oprah.' But
one person who is not a fan is Matt Damon [on screen: Damon saying he wants to
ask Palin if she believes dinosaurs were around 4,000 years ago. He also
mentions she would have the nuclear codes if she were to become president]. Not
a bad thing to wonder about. If you think about it, Sarah Palin is like his
character from 'The Bourne Identity.' She came from out of nowhere, nobody
knows about her, and they both kill everything in sight." --Jimmy Kimmel
I have been working on a
paper for the Education Market.
The paper talks about using
video games as a teaching tool for
children with learning
disabilities.
The age demographic would be
8 to 18. Games could be up to the teacher or student to chose. Games might
include soccer, football, basketball, etc.
Students could learn about
various historical or fictional characters and create them as players for their
team. It would allow the student to study history, philosophy, religion,
sports, popular culture, etc. and then create the characters to be a part of
their team. The students would even be able to play along side their created
characters.
In this example I used PS4
Madden 17. On some of the teams historical figures like Martin Luther King, and
Abraham Lincoln will play on the same team with authors like Ernest Hemingway
and William Shakespeare, or Elvis Presley and Tupac Shakur.
The process is meant to be a
simple and fun way for kids to learn.
Maybe PS4/XBOX machines might
be donated or discounted to schools for these classes.
More on the paper as it is
fleshed out. Enjoy the simulations.
On the Indianapolis Colts
Former Colt players, Marvin Harrison, Reggie Wayne, Dwight
Freeney, Robert Mathis
Offensive Line
LT Paul McCartney,
musician The Beatles
LG Jesus, some folks
Lord and Savior
C Charles Bukowski,
poet
RG God
RT John Lennon,
musician The Beatles
More Colts players include
Martin Luther King, Stephen
Hawking, Albert Einstein,
Muddy Waters, Winston
Churchill, Nelson Mandela
even characters from Star
Trek
Jeanluc Picard, Cmndr Worf,
Cmdr Data, James Kirk,
Mr Spock, Jonathan Archer,
Cmdr Tuvok, Geordi LaForge
Ben Sisko
and fictional characters
Jack Bauer, 24, played by
Keifer Sutherland
Nate Fisher, Six Feet Under,
played by Peter Krause
Also for sentimental reasons,
some fallen friends are on this team. Semper Fi. May you rest in peace.
Detroit Lions Fantasy
Roster
Offense
QB Booby Layne, NFL
HB Doak Walker, NFL
HB Barry Sanders, NFL
FB Mike Hammer, Mike
Hammer, played by Stacey Keach
WR Bernie Sanders,
progressive politician
WR Calvin Johnson, NFL
WR Herman Moore, NFL
WR Miles Davis,
musician
WR Byron Henry, Winds
of War, played by Jan Michael Vincent
TE Charlie Sanders, WR
TE Jimmy Dore, comedian
and political activist
TE Mike Malloy,
political commentator
Defense
LE Alex Karras, NFL
LE Cmndr Worf, Star
Trek, played by Michael Dorn
LE Sugar Ray Robinson,
boxer
LE Denzel Washington,
actor
RE Hafthor Bjornson,
actor
RE Nelson Mandela,
South African political leader
RE Ben Sisko, Star
Trek, played by Avery Brooks
RE Conor McGregor,
martial artist
RE Malcolm X, civil
rights leader
DT Sun Tzu, Chinese
military leader
DT Teal’c, Stargate
SG-1, played by Christopher Judge
LB Joe Louis, boxer
LB Luther Lavay, Any
Given Sunday, played by Lawrence Taylor
LB B.A. Baracus, The
A-Team, played by Mr. T
LB Connor MacManus, The
Boondock Saints, played by Sean Patrick Flanery
LB Billy Dee Williams,
actor
LB Joe Schmidt, NFL
LB Joe Kenda, police
detective
LB Lando Calrissian,
Star Wars, played by Billy Dee Williams
LB Meadowlark Lemon,
Harlem Globetrotters
LB Wayne Walker, NFL
LB Murphy MacManus, The
Boondock Saints, played by Norman Reedus
LB Nathanael Greene,
American Revolution
CB Lem Barney, NFL
CB Dick LeBeau, NFL
CB Jack Bauer, 24,
played by Keifer Sutherland
CB John Coltrane,
musician
CB Charlie Parker,
musician
FS Jackie Robinson, MLB
FS Salem Poor, American
Revolution
FS Daniel Jackson,
Stargate, played by James Spader
SS Jason Bourne, The
Bourne Identity, played by Matt Damon
According
to the FBI, foreign hackers have made several attempts to breach voter
registration websites in the United States with an intent to influence the
outcome of the election or steal personal information. The FBI warned that
that, quote, “Bad actors have been repeatedly trying to hack us.” It could be a
number of suspects — Russia, China, Steven Seagal. Could be Matt Damon. There
are a lot of bad actors out there. –Jimmy Kimmel
The
director of the FBI is warning individual states to make sure their dead bolts
are thrown and locks are on. They’re using dead bolts and locks to secure voter
registration websites? Maybe that’s the problem right there. Those are for
bicycles. –Jimmy Kimmel
Meanwhile,
Donald Trump has a new scandal to deal with today. According to Newsweek, in
1998 he spent $68,000 on a business venture in Cuba. Which was illegal because
of the embargo. Trump, of course, denied the allegations. He said there’s no
such place as Cuba. –Jimmy Kimmel
Remember
when Mitt Romney almost had to drop out of the race because he put his dog on
the top of the car? They were simpler times. –Jimmy Kimmel
President
Obama said he believes Mr. Trump will not be president because the American
people “recognize that being president is a serious job. It's not hosting a
talk show." Maybe I don't get to do “serious” stuff like pardoning a
turkey on Thanksgiving but I'll tell you something, Mr. Obama: Every minute of
every day I'm thinking about how to keep Americans safe from Matt Damon. –Jimmy
Kimmel
Kendall
and Kylie Jenner released a new iPhone app where it lets you enter the
"glamorous and exciting world of Kendall and Kylie Jenner," another
way of saying “stare at your phone for hours.” Once you download this app, your
phone is no longer a smartphone. –Jimmy Kimmel
In
an interview, Larry King said when he dies he wants to be cryogenically frozen.
Larry said, "I was frozen once during the Ice Age — I loved it. It was the
best nap I ever had." –Conan O’Brien
Matt
Damon was nominated for best actor for "The Martian," also nominated
for best musical or comedy. Some people are complaining that "The
Martian" isn't a musical or a comedy. I disagree. It's definitely not a
musical, but the idea of Matt Damon being left for dead on another planet, to
me, that's funny. –Jimmy Kimmel
The
first-ever puppies to be conceived in a test tube have been born. It makes me
happy personally because when I was a kid, our family dog and her husband tried
unsuccessfully for years to get pregnant. And eventually they adopted a
hamster. –Jimmy Kimmel
