they might shoot someone in the face (my porn name)

"Californians selected state Treasurer Phil Angelides as their the candidate for the upcoming gubernatorial election, setting up a much anticipated Schwarzenegger/Angelides contest in November. Incidentally, Schwarzenegger Angelides is my porn name" --Jon Stewart

"Vice President Dick Cheney gave the commencement speech at his old high school in Casper, Wyoming, last weekend. He told graduating seniors to aim high because if they didn't, they might shoot someone in the face." --Jay Leno

"According to the Center for Public Integrity, in the last five years Congress got $50 million worth of free trips. That's over 23,000 free trips paid for by someone else. That beats the old record set by Kevin Federline." --Jay Leno