Incidentally, Schwarzenegger Angelides is my porn name (Why did you light my cake on fire?)

"Signing up for the Army just got a little bit easier. Now, I know what you're thinking, 'I'm too lazy and emotionally fragile for boot camp, plus I'm a felon with a third-grade education. And I'm gay.' Well, good news, in today's Army, it doesn't matter. Except the gay part. According to the Wall Street Journal, the military is adopting a kinder and gentler approach to basic training, in order to improve diminishing recruitment numbers. Among the changes: more sleep and personal time, less running, and best of all, overweight recruits don't have to skip dessert. Hey, kids, boot camp is now easier than fat camp." --Jon Stewart

"Californians selected state Treasurer Phil Angelides as their the candidate for the upcoming gubernatorial election, setting up a much anticipated Schwarzenegger/Angelides contest in November. Incidentally, Schwarzenegger Angelides is my porn name." --Jon Stewart

"I do want to begin with an update on our Vice President, Dick Cheney. He didn't shoot anyone else, but he is a man a heartbeat away from both the presidency and one count of manslaughter." --Jon Stewart

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Incidentally, Schwarzenegger Angelides is my porn name (Adjust your graphics accordingly)

"Californians selected state Treasurer Phil Angelides as their the candidate for the upcoming gubernatorial election, setting up a much anticipated Schwarzenegger/Angelides contest in November. Incidentally, Schwarzenegger Angelides is my porn name." --Jon Stewart

"Those of you following the Iraq war on television know that it has been pre-empted by the summer action-packed replacement series, 'Lebanon.' It's new. It's scary, but it's important for everyone to remain calm and keep the situation in perspective [on screen: various politicians calling the situation World War III]. So rest of the news media, stop calling it a 'regional conflict' or a 'police action.' It's a World War III or IV. Adjust your graphics accordingly." --Stephen Colbert

they might shoot someone in the face (my porn name)

"Californians selected state Treasurer Phil Angelides as their the candidate for the upcoming gubernatorial election, setting up a much anticipated Schwarzenegger/Angelides contest in November. Incidentally, Schwarzenegger Angelides is my porn name" --Jon Stewart

"Vice President Dick Cheney gave the commencement speech at his old high school in Casper, Wyoming, last weekend. He told graduating seniors to aim high because if they didn't, they might shoot someone in the face." --Jay Leno

"According to the Center for Public Integrity, in the last five years Congress got $50 million worth of free trips. That's over 23,000 free trips paid for by someone else. That beats the old record set by Kevin Federline." --Jay Leno