"Big personnel change
at the White House. Yesterday, President Bush's chief speechwriter announced
he's leaving the White House. His exact words were, 'Me go now.'" --Conan
O'Brien
"Congress is outraged
by these bogus claims. Congress said, 'If people want to break the law and
steal taxpayer money, hey, get elected to Congress like everybody
else.'" --Jay Leno
"I have to agree with
Hillary on this. I liked Ann Coulter better when she was fighting Sigourney
Weaver on those 'Alien' movies." –Jay Leno
"We finally got some
good news yesterday from the war in Iraq. As you have probably heard, the Air
Force exploded Iraq's head of al Qaeda, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. I was looking
forward to seeing what the New York Post had to say about it. This is the
actual cover of the newspaper. There you see the dead face of al-Zarqawi with
the cartoon bubble saying, 'Warm up the Virgins.' Coincidentally, 'Warm up the
Virgins' is also Arnold Schwarzenegger's new campaign slogan." --Jimmy
Kimmel
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