kudos to Congress for literally taking a giant s--- on the poorest people in the country

Evidently, low approval ratings can be contracted through saliva." --Stephen Colbert, on the effect of President Bush kissing Joe Lieberman

"The Senate voted not to raise the minimum wage, which for the last 9 years has been $5.15 an hour. They did vote themselves a pay raise, but they didn't vote to raise the minimum wage. I just want to say, 'Good.' I'm glad they didn't do it because the lower strata of American society has had a free ride for too long. And if you gave them $7.25 an hour, you know it would just go up their nose and out their hose. You don't want to give them walking around money. So, kudos to Congress for literally taking a giant s--- on the poorest people in the country." --Jon Stewart

  

"North Korea's Kim Jong-il acknowledged Monday he was developing a nuclear missile program 'to deter attacks from the West.' It's called the Taepo-Dong. Before you laugh, you should know that in Korean, that translates to 'kind of penis.'" --Jon Stewart