"New information has
surfaced about the circumstances of Zarqawi's death. For example, it now
appears Zarqawi survived the initial air strike for an estimated 52 minutes.
Even hours later, Senate Majority Leader, doctor Bill Frist continued to
insist, 'The man seems to respond to visual stimuli.'" --Jon Stewart
"Al Qaeda wasted no
time in naming Zarqawi's successor and he is Abu Hamza al-Muhajer.
Congratulations, al-Muhajer. You're the new leader of al Qaeda in Iraq and with
that comes this beautiful dinette set and a brand new Pontiac Firebird. Come on
down and collect your prize. I guess we'll have to find another way to catch
him. That was my idea." --Jon Stewart
"The FBI says it wants Zarqawi's DNA so they can compare it with samples found in other terrorist safe houses and to establish the extent of his influence. And if need be, clone him so he can be killed again closer to the midterm elections." --Jon Stewart
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