"President Bush said
today that illegal immigrants who come to America should learn English. He
said, 'If I was moving to Canada, I would learn Canadian.'" --Jay Leno
"You know what the
last thing that went through Zarqawi's mind was? A 500 pound bomb. The Air
Force got him by dropping two 500 pound bombs on his safe house. 500 pounds? Do
they even have to go off at that point? And now his supporters in the Middle East
are claiming there is more than one al-Zarqawi, which is OK. We have more than
one 500 pound bomb." --Jay Leno
"U.S. forces said
they learned where Zarqawi was staying by tracking his spiritual adviser. He
has a spiritual adviser? What a great job that guy was doing. I think the last
spiritual advice he gave him was, 'Start praying and kiss your a**
goodbye.'" --Jay Leno
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