"This is weird. The
state of Texas has put webcams on the Mexican border so people can sit at their
home computers and look for illegal aliens trying to cross into the U.S. The
website is free, but it costs $5 if you want the illegal aliens to talk dirty
to you." --Conan O'Brien
"Al Gore has a movie
about global warming. It's called An Inconvenient Truth. It's doing
surprisingly well at the box office. Even though it's only playing on like 80
screens, it actually broke the 'Top Ten' list. I guess when you have charisma
like Al Gore has, people flock to you" --Jimmy Kimmel
"Did you hear about
this al-Zarqawi? They knocked him out over the weekend and al Qaeda has chosen
a new leader. His name is Abu Hamza al-Muhajer. Yeah, he's the new al Qaeda
leader in Iraq and it's a huge step for this guy because his last job he was in
charge of corporate gifting. They didn't waste any time. Zarqawi was killed and
they named this Abu Hamza al-Muhajer, or as the special forces refer to him,
'Next'" --David Letterman
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