I would kill for reviews that good (capturing a really angry Jigglypuff)

A restaurant in China forces customers to solve complex math problems before they can order their meal. The restaurant has no plans to expand to the United States. –Conan O’Brien

Pundits are saying that new British prime minister, Theresa May, is following in the footsteps of Margaret Thatcher, known as "The Iron Lady," with some in the media calling May "dull as porridge," "extremely dependable," and "not humorous." Said Hillary Clinton, "Ugh, I would kill for reviews that good." –Seth Meyers

Players of the popular Pokémon Go smartphone game are reporting problems in South Korea, where mapping apps are restricted. Meanwhile, players in North Korea are reporting problems capturing a really angry Jigglypuff. –Seth Meyers