"Actually, Al Gore's
movie, An Inconvenient Truth, made about $2 million this past weekend, whereas
X-Men made about $150 million. That just shows we're more interested in the
fake people saving the fake earth than the real people trying to save the real
earth." --Jay Leno
"Pretty sobering
film. Critics are calling it a wake-up call, which is pretty amazing. Who ever
thought Al Gore would be giving people a wake-up call? It's a fascinating
movie. He makes some interesting points in the film. He says global warming is
so bad, they have actually detected a thaw between Bill and Hillary." --Jay Leno
"Al Gore says we have
10 years to reverse global warming. See, you don't tell us things like that.
We're Americans. Americans just go, 'Look, I'll drive my Hummer for the next
nine years until the lease runs out and then I'll save the earth in the last
year.' You can't put a time table on it." --Jay Leno
"You hate Canada?
That's like saying I hate toast. It's not the kind of thing that inspires
passion in either direction. I can understand why you're mad at us. We're
arrogant, leading the whole War on Terror, but Canada? That's like watching
'Hannity & Colmes' and just hating Colmes. Canada opposed the war in Iraq.
You're mad because you want them to withdraw troops from Afghanistan. That is
so two Jihads ago. If anything, you should love Canada. Who else could cripple
America with their cheap prescription drugs and talented comedians? So,
terrorists pick on someone your own size. Do what you want to us, but as far as
Canada goes, you leave them 'oot'" --Jon Stewart, on Al Qaeda terrorists
apprehended in Canada
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